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Loading... Lord Vishnu's Love Handles: A Spy Novel (Sort Of)by Will Clarke
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will love Sign up for LibraryThing to find out whether you'll like this book.  staceass | Sep 24, 2009 |  This book is a lot of fun. Travis, a website creator, has psychic abilities. For instance he knows his wife is unfaithful. Her DNA speaks to him. Says it’s not his wife’s fault, she’s just got slut DNA and by having that it enables her genes to spread widely. By playing psychiccow.com and guessing the colour of the cow’s udders, Travis is picked up by the CIA to do psychic spy work. He owes five million in taxes so he agrees. The plot is constantly engaging and quite a page turner. I think someone could make a movie out of this book. Some of the characters really come to life. There’s a psychic duo SageRat. They are brother and sister who are in vampire get-up. And they work together in sync even winking as one. Some really good moments when Travis takes Percodan and with psychic resonance makes everyone laugh. Travis ends up saving the world by ODing on Perc while in Disneyland and thus making the evil psychic Ikshu have such a giggle fit he goes into a coma. (Ikshu had a heart monitor that was wired to an A-bomb set up.) It’s a treasure to the end. I didn’t get bored one bit. Didn’t want to put it down. Yep. Will Clarke ‘doesn’t want you to know where he lives or what he’s doing next’, but I’d watch out for his next book, it might be a fun romp like this one. InitiallyNO | Sep 16, 2009 | the publishing equivalent of an album made in teh basement on a four track. Part independent/ part polished / part pure pop culture. This was a fun read that thankfully the Author printed instead of selling to a script agent and turned it into a weak sci-fi series with an 8 episode run on the Lifetime channel. (  ) gazzy | Apr 2, 2009 | This is a funny book, a little sophomorish (genre bending some reviewers on Amazon said - big No to that.) But to his credit, Clarke takes on some existential questions. The story veers sci-fi'ish - Travis Anderson can see into the future, random things like knowing before the phone rings that it is his mother-in-law calling or beating the computer all day long guessing the color of the cow's udders on PsychicCow.com (yes, they created the site as a promotional tool, and you can do it all day long too if you're so inclined). So when he has dreams that his wife is doing his business partner, he believes it even though he's got no concrete proof something is going on. His wife it turns out is pregnant (is the child his or not, we never find out till the end). And if things can't get better, they really shouldn't get any get any worse - Travis' alcoholism gets out of hand and he starts seeing the blue skinned dude, the eponymous Vishnu of the title; his firm is audited and it is discovered that Reed Bindler, his partner has been swindling IRS of money and they collectively owe Uncle Sam something to the tune of 5 million dollars. IRS ropes in Travis to do psychic work for them in exchange for forgiving the 5 million debt. How he encounters enough dark forces for a lifetime and comes to love his wife and family in spite of her obvious promiscuity forms the rest of the book. Part of the problem with the book is the use of dreams, visions and other such hooey as literary devices. It just stretches the imagination a little too tenuous, so I cannot imagine anyone other than a die-hard sci-fi fan actually enjoying the book. On the other hand, once I realized this book was more sci-fi and potty humor, I stopped expecting anything like religion or spirituality, so finding it was a pleasant surprise. The spirituality Travis Anderson ends up espousing is part Hindu, part mysticism. There're very Hindu concepts - for example both the dark forces, represented by the characters Ikshu and SageRat, and the light forces (Travis himself) work for the same master - the US government. More interesting is the fact that this book was a breakout book on Amazon.com. Will Clarke went from being a self-publisher to having his book picked up by Simon and Schuster. Who says self-publishing has to be the ugly redheaded stepchild to traditional publishing? Not Will Clarke who's laughing all the way to the bank with the optioning of this book by Hollywood. (Refer the exclusive interview with Lord Vishnu - it gives a glimpse into Clarke's thinking) ( ) chickletta | Apr 3, 2008 | A fun, light read. Compare to two other books I've just read, in a sort of synchronistical way: Breakfast with the Buddha (terrific) and the old classic Cat's Cradle (not as great as I remembered). This is obviously a book hoping to become a movie, and reminded me of Jennifer Government, which is going to be a movie, I think. A first-time book by a thirtysomething who seems unable to write outside of his own milieu (his protagonist is obviously a self-portrait, and that always makes me think less of a book, whether it should or not). If you share his worldview and demographic, you may find the book very funny. It kept me entertained while recovering from the flu, but I don't think I would've read it otherwise. It's full of plot holes, and is totally unbelievable, not to mention how he's distorted and mis-used the work of Rupert Sheldrake and others. So, in summary, if you're a shallow thirtysomething, living the high life in Dallas and know nothing about remote viewing or morphic resonance, this book should be just the ticket. Otherwise, read it when you're in a flu-induced fog, and you'll have a passable time. I shit you not, dude. ; ) ( ) BobNolin | Jan 1, 2008 |  no reviews | add a review
Amazon.com (ISBN 0743271475, Hardcover)
Travis Anderson has a psychic gift. Or so he thinks. So far he's milked his premonitions only to acquire an upper-middle-class lifestyle--pretty wife, big house, and a shiny Range Rover--without having to make any real effort. But recent visions threaten his yuppie contentment. Haunted by omens of impending cancers, stillborn babies, and personal train wrecks, he is compelled to make a series of inaccurate and horrifying prophecies that humiliate him in front of his fellow country club members. The IRS gets Travis's number, too, demanding an audit of his sloppy bookkeeping.
Drowning in mounting financial problems and apparent mental illness, Travis tries booze, pills, even golf to stay afloat, but nothing works. His wife and friends are forced to stage an intervention. Travis is in danger of losing his family, his career, and ultimately, his sanity. That is, until he meets a Hindu holy man in rehab who claims to be the final incarnation of Lord Vishnu. Suddenly, the tragically shallow Travis is saddled with the responsibility of bettering mankind and saving the world.
Amazon.com Exclusive
Vishnu: So, Will, it's good to talk to you again. Where are you calling me from? Will: My cell phone. Vishnu: I know that. But what city? Will: I don't want to tell you. Vishnu: Oh, that's right, you don't want anyone to know where you are or what you're doing next. Will: Exactly. Vishnu: That is so tired. Will: It's like my tag line. Vishnu: It's like... really lame. Will: So where are you? Vishnu: I’m everywhere. Omnipresent, omnipotent--remember? Will: So then you know where I am and what I am doing next. Vishnu: Pretty much. Will: Then why'd you ask? Vishnu: Good way to start an interview. Will: Oh. Vishnu: Let's just get started. First thing I want to ask is why the title Lord Vishnu's Love Handles? Weren't you afraid that might, you know, anger me? Why tug at Superman's cape? Will: I figured you would think it was funny. Vishnu: Telling someone they have love handles isn't the best way to make friends, even if you are joking, Will. Will: What? You're the guy who incarnated as baby Krishna and stole all the butter from the milkmaids and fed it to the monkeys? You're usually totally jokey. Vishnu: Just kidding... Yeah, I pretty much invented laughter. And you're right, the title did make me laugh. Will: Whew. I thought you were serious for a second. Vishnu: You are so easy sometimes. Will: So you read the book? Vishnu: Twice, actually. Will: Wow. Thanks. Vishnu: I found the book to be full of symbols and hidden messages. Will: Yeah, it is. Vishnu: What exactly do the love handles symbolize to you?
Will: Love handles are symbolic of those everyday imperfections. Those things we are constantly trying to fix but can't seem to get on top of. Vishnu: So what does my having love handles say about the universe? Will: That's a question I don’t know the answer to. But I will tell you, that most statues I've seen of you, you have love handles. Vishnu: Most people comment on the fact that I have four arms. Will: Well, look closely at statues or paintings of you, you'll usually find love handles. You're not portrayed as being all chiseled and buff like the statues of Greek gods. Vishnu is always soft and from your soft middle, from your navel grows Brahma, the Cosmos. Vishnu: Personally, I don't have a lot of spare time to work on my six-pack. Will: How great is that? The Preserver of the Universe has love handles! Also people's own love handles are the places that will make them laugh if someone else pokes them there--sort like the Pillsbury Doughboy. So I wanted to poke people in their love handles with this book. I wanted to make people laugh, or at least flinch. Vishnu: In addition to my flabby midsection, you also seem to be obsessed with this concept of laughter. What's that all about? Will: If you really think about it, why do we, these primates with really big brains, laugh? What's the evolutionary purpose? And why do people get so insulted when you tell them they have no sense of humor? Laughter is a big part of the human experience and to me a very necessary one. I think perhaps, it's what can save us from ourselves or at least from our worst ideas about ourselves. When I think about really big tyrants throughout history, the one thing they were seriously lacking was a sense of humor. Vishnu: You know Hitler hated laughter. He thought people were laughing at him. He was utterly humorless. Will: And I think that is symptomatic of a person who is self-righteous and unable to question himself and his actions. And this leads to heinous crimes. Vishnu: Beware of anyone who can't laugh at themselves. Will: Exactly. I think laughter is a gift, not unlike the Greek myth about Hope when it flew out of Pandora's box after all the Pestilence was set loose. Vishnu: Yeah, I wonder who invented laughter? Hmmmm.... Will: Yeah, I wonder who.... Seriously, though, laughter is transformative in so many ways. The act of laughter can take anger, sorrow, or pain, and it turns all that into joy and bliss. The mystery isn't really why, but how laughter does this. I try to explore that with the book. I take tragic situations, but then I try to transfigure these situations into comedy. Vishnu: And here I was thinking it was just a spy novel. Will: Well, it is a spy novel. Just like the Bhagavad Gita is a war story--sort of. Vishnu: You're not saying your book is as good as The Gita? Will: No, I am not saying that at all. I am saying that stories aren't always what they seem to be about. We shouldn’t take things too literally. We should find the truth of any text by delving into metaphor. Read things twice. Chew on it and look for the hidden ideas, "the spaces in between" as Dave Matthews would sing. Vishnu: Yeah, I am not a big fan of people taking things too literally, especially holy books. Always gets people into trouble. Causes wars and such. Not fun. Will: War is a whole other topic that I could go off about. Vishnu: Well, let's try to stay on track. Tell me about the couple of characters in your book that you call SageRat. What a weird idea. Where did that come from? Will: Sage and Rat represent the incestuous ideas of victimhood and revenge. Sage is the eternal victim while her brother, Rat, embodies the feral, out-of-control nature of revenge. One can't live without the other and over time perhaps, they actually distort to become one in the same--like SageRat in the book. Vishnu: Yeah, I'm not sure most people are going to get that. Will: They don’t have to. The book works on all sorts of different levels. If people just read it as a thriller that would be fine with me. At least I gave them enjoyment. Vishnu: That's true. Don't underestimate the little things you can do for people. Just making someone smile is a great gift to them and the universe. Will: Well said. Vishnu: Before we go, tell me a little about how the book got to be published by Simon & Schuster. Will: It's a long story but I’ll give you the Reader's Digest version: Wrote the book, got rejected by everyone, self-published it, and sold most of the copies on Amazon. In fact, their "If-You-Like-This-Book-Then-You’ll-Like-This-Book" engine spread my book all over the world. I got e-mails from readers in Kosovo, Tehran, Tel Aviv, and Bombay. The book was even taught in a freshman literature class at George Washington University. Then out of the blue, a New Zealand screenwriter, Grant Morris, called to option it. He then got Michael London (Sideways) attached as the producer who got David Gordon Green (George Washington) to attach as the director. And then to my utter surprise, the three of them set the project up at Paramount Pictures. After that, I sold it to Simon & Schuster and closed down my self-publishing operation. Vishnu: Damn. That's quite a story. Will: Often wonder if you weren’t somehow involved. Vishnu: Uh, hello. Will: Well, thanks. It's been one hell of a ride. Vishnu: De nada, Will. It was great talking to you. Will: You, too. You always crack me up. Vishnu: Namasté. Will: Namasté. (retrieved from Amazon Fri, 24 Apr 2009 07:57:56 -0400) The first test round has been closed. Visit the Open Shelves Classification group for details. |
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Wikipedia in English (1)
The premise is simple, and then convoluted. Yuppie man leads charmed existence, with a side of psychic abilities and a drinking problem. His life is turned upside down and he ends up making a deal with the devil (in this case a super-secret government ESP organization). Enter the bad guy and a dozen or so plot mishaps magically healed by convenient sixth-sense-iness. Sprinkle with lots of excessive aggression and pseudo-sexy undertones and viola!
Don't get me wrong. I love a good silly yet dirty romp as much as the next girl, but this one left me feeling unfulfilled. Like I'd somehow just read a big mac and then wiped the grease off my hands onto a second-hand negligee. (