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Crooked Little Vein by Warren Ellis
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Crooked Little Vein: A Novel

by Warren Ellis

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756435,806 (3.8)30
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William Morrow (2007), Hardcover, 288 pages

Member:blakslaks
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Showing 1-5 of 42 (next | show all)
What a fantastically weird book. I don't know if this is good, but it was an almost embarrassingly entertaining page turner that had me shuddering, shaking my head, and laughing all at once. ( )
  circumspice | Dec 9, 2009 |
Wow, was this book disappointing. What should have been Ellis's introduction to the print world became a collection of hey-guys-look-at-this-crazy-shit-I-found-on-the-internet-and-posted-on-my-blog-already, strung together by the thinnest of narratives. There are occasional sentences that smack of the author's way with words, but it's hardly worth the trudge through the rest of the book. ( )
  theanalogdivide | Dec 1, 2009 |
Crooked Little Vein is Warren Ellis being Warren Ellis. There's a lot of crude humor and odd events, but that really works for him. There are stomach turning sections ("partying" with saline), and sections of purely amazing writing peppered throughout.

At the same time, that's all the book is. I want to say it's all style and no substance, but that's not true. Ellis' preaching about the mainstream and the Internet is interesting, if a little heavy handed.

In any case, there's a hint of great prose writing and philosophy, but it's encumbered by the rat who pisses in coffee and the coke mask. A good book, entertaining, but not a great book. ( )
1 vote Kunzelman | Oct 5, 2009 |
I had no prior notion who Warren Ellis is, but I noticed many a froth-mouthed fanboy here in LT praising him and his apparently extensive oeuvre of comic books, mostly, but also, among other things, this detective novel, Crooked Little Vein. Therefore I didn't have any preconceptions about what to expect and so by golly was I in for a big surprise! I never could have believed it would be such a snoozefest! Ellis wastes way too much time and effort trying to gross out the reader with irrelevant little sexual vignettes, neglecting plot and characters completely. We get the usual cyberpunkish dark sassy smartass sidekick-girlfriend, combination of the bad girl you jerked off to in high school (and still do; admit it) and your sarcastic best friend. The male hero is your usual thirtyish everyman with an unlucky streak and no discernible qualities. Furthermore, even an outrageously over-the-top story is allowed to make some sense; I would have liked some more plot in my holes. Eww, gross.

It was a moderately entertaining, super-fast read, on account of it being very short and having a badly rushed ending. I'm sure a less jaded person would have vomited a little in their own mouth, but I barely lifted an eyebrow at the Godzilla bukkake, and it was all downhill from there. Being a pacifist and all, I still wanted to pound the "witty" narrator's face in many times. Truth be told, I did also let go a guffaw a couple of times. Unfortunately I can't be anything but blasé about it—weird internet porn and criticism of the Bush regime; yawn, that's so 2007. ( )
1 vote snykanen | Sep 28, 2009 |
Chandleresque but expanding the decadence (root: decay) from just So Cal to all of the USA. Clipped, noir diction outfitted for the Internet generation. Saving Grace comes in the form of technology and media enabling the many to expose and dilute the power of the few...not a new or revelatory theme, but very entertaining. Had me laughing out loud many times. ( )
1 vote laruebk | Aug 25, 2009 |
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I opened my eyes to see the rat taking a piss in my coffee mug.
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Crooked Little Vein

File:Crooked Little Vein.jpg

Book description

Amazon.com Book Description (ISBN 0060723939, Hardcover)

Michael McGill is a burned-out private detective who suddenly becomes enlisted by an army of presidential goons to retrieve the Constitution of the United States, but not the one we all know about. This would be the real Constitution (the one with invisible amendments) created by some of the Founding Fathers as a fallback for their great experiment. Along the way, McGill gains a polyamorous sidekick named Trix, gets scared to death by what men do with warm salty water, and descends into a world where crime, sex, and madness all seem to be the same thing.

Full of mind-bending style and packed with a wild cast of characters, Crooked Little Vein infuses Robert B. Parker with Kurt Vonnegut and the madness of the graphic-novel world. A surprisingly surreal treat, it will appeal to hardcore comic fans, mystery aficionados, and all readers looking for a riotous summer reading adventure.

Sample Chapter One of Crooked Little Vein

"Chapter One. I opened my eyes to see the rat taking a piss in my coffee mug. It was a huge brown bastard; had a body like a turd with legs and beady black eyes full of secret rat knowledge."

Crooked Little Vein puts you right in the gutter from the first sentence and doesn't let up. Sample the goods with a look at the complete first chapter, and see if you don't get hooked.

(retrieved from Amazon Fri, 24 Apr 2009 07:57:55 -0400)

(see all 2 descriptions)

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