Entertaining, comic and vilely disgusting in varying measures - Having read the authors comments I was vaguely apalled that some of the most off colour excesses were reality based rather than fiction and I find myself asking - "Do they really provide Jesus shaped butt plugs in Las Vegas?" - In fact to be frank, prior to reading this I had no idea such a thing as a butt plug even existed....but then I guess you live and learn. ( )

It's the kind of book I've been searching for. That strange tome lurking squished under a pile of ancient Redbook magazines in the back of a dusty bookstore in an old house manned by a grouchy bearded troll named Hap.
Wow.
Every sentence is quotable.
A couple opening lines from different chapters:
Chapter 1: I opened my eyes to see the rat taking a piss in my coffee.
Chapter 4: By Sunday, I'd moved into the Z Hotel, where the doormen dress like ninjas and stab passing poor people in the neckbits with wooden swords.
Chapter 13: "This is where we shoot salt water into your testicles," said Gary.

Oomph.
Weird, smart, freaky, funny, odd, sexy, violent, savvy.
Warren Ellis is mostly known for graphic novels like Desolation Jones and Transmetropolitan.
Great, but this is greater.
I want more!
William Gibson: "Stop it. You're frightening me."
Kinky Friedman: "....like a bipolar Raymond Chandler...it's also funny enough to make you shit standing."
Joss Whedon: "I think this book ate my soul. Funny, inventive, blithely apalling, this book is Dante on paint fumes."

Easily offended? Close this post and back away.
All others: prepare to be wonderfully horrified.

BORROW, BUY, or BURN?
BUY. ( )

This one was suggested to me by a friend and when I read the description, I was like, no. Too edgy for me-of-the-weak-stomach. And there were definitely parts that were difficult to stomach! The comedy leans strongly toward the black and sick, but the novel reminds me of Carl Hiaasen - but like more messed up. The humor was similar - if darker - but, in the end, cosmic justice is meted out. The ending is surprising, and not just for its (relative) happiness. I liked it a lot, and I have suggested it to a few others. I will definitely try some of Ellis's graphic novels - probably. ( )

Crooked Little Vein
Crooked Little Vein is the title of the latest (and greatest) creation of Warren Ellis.
This has to be, hands down, the funniest novel I've read in some time. After reading his comic books for years, I had often wished he would write a novel and this is why. The sharp wit and dry humor will leave you gasping for air and your jaws aching from laughing so much.

Our protagonist is a PI named Michael McGill and is a bit of a stereotype. The guy sleeping in his office, wearing yesterdays shirts and wondering if he'll be able to pay the rent of have to sneak out of town.

Just he is wondering about this (and if his shirt is too yellowed to wear another day) he gets a visitor like no other. And no, it's not a beautiful bombshell, but rather a very strange little man making him an offer he can't refuse.

Michael is hired to find the 2nd (and very secret) Constitution. The so-called 'real' one.

So he's off and running. Unfortunately, Michael has a talent for falling into the worst sort of situations. Things just go bad around him and getting this job is only the smallest part of how bad things are going to get.

If you like mysteries, humor and very strange events, this is the book for you. In fact, you should buy it even if those aren't your things. Crooked Little Vein will convert you. Buy 2 copies and give one away. Afflict someone else with the writings of warren Ellis!

==== Book Review Questionnaire ====

What led you to pick up this book? === Crooked Little Vein was included at my library in a local feature where library workers choose their favourite titles. I had seen this featured on many lists so I decided to check it out.

What did you like most about the book? === This book is filled with lewd people, disgusting sexual practices and disturbing perversions ... that all are probably pretty easy to find in our society, which is even more shocking. But the thing that I liked is how Ellis managed to place these things into everyday life and find the humour behind it. Because every once in awhile, amidst the daily horrors we see on CNN and local news, you've got to just take a breath and laugh.

What did you like least? === It was way too short - I am hoping that we will see McGill return in a sequel. He would make the perfect main character for a detective series.

What did you think of the writing style? === I loved the style of writing in Crooked Little Vein. It was rough, blunt and to the point, which was perfect for the story. The pacing was also a key ingredient, as it pulls the reader along on the speeding fast journey of the main character.

Which readers are most likely to enjoy this book? Why? === This would be easier if I said who I don't think would enjoy this book. If you are not interested in graphic descriptions of sex, profanity, insanity or a negative view of American politics - you should probably stay away. Also if you don't want to read about Godzilla Bukkake or you are scared to find out what that is - you should probably read something else.

Have you read any other books by this author? What did you think of those books? === Warren Ellis is an amazing comic book/graphic novel author and I have enjoyed his Transmetropolitan series and his various contributions to the X-Men comics. Crooked Little Vein is my first read of his novels, but I will be looking forward to more,

What did you think of the main character? === I adored the main character, private detective Michael McGill. He is the type of guy that knows his life sucks, his luck sucks and whatever bad things can happen - will happen. But he takes it all in stride and doesn't give up, he just shrugs it off with dark humour and a "what did I expect?" attitude.

Any other particularly interesting characters? === His partner Trix, is very likable, if weird. Also the many people he meets on his journey are incredibly interesting, although even weirder. The saline-addicted body builders were hilarious as was the serial killer, who I would love to hear more about.

Write about the relationship between two characters. === Michael and Trix decide to join together as partners, along the way their relationship changes many times, but the chemistry between them, whether romantic or otherwise, is always very strong. I really enjoyed seeing how each experience they had together changed them as people.

Share a quote from the book: === This quote is a description that was given about the specific book that Michael McGill was hired to find. I laughed so much after reading this. “It is a small, handwritten volume reputedly bound in the skin of the extraterrestrial entity that plagued Benjamin Franklin’s ass over 6 nights in Paris during his European travels. Benjamin Franklin wasn’t some nancy-boy novelist who wrote sensitive books about aliens sticking things up his rectum, you know. On the seventh night he got right up and killed the little bastard with one punch”

Share a favourite scene from the book: === My favourite scene from Crooked Little Vein is when Michael and Trix meet with the bodybuilders to find a lead. Normally a detective needs to exchange something for information, but this time he is forced to accept something if he plans to get the information he wants. What he gets and how he gets it are achingly funny. What's more hilarious about this particular scene is how he reacts afterwards while running (make that shuffling) to his car.

Do you recommend this book? If you use a rating system, what’s your rating? === I would recommend this book as it was a very enjoyable, fun read. But again, I must say it is not a read for the sensitive or easily offended. If you aren't put off by Chuck Palahniuk or if you enjoy his shocking satire, then you'll probably also enjoy Crooked Little Vein. Below all of the shocking images and descriptions there is a very strong message about how our society has changed (for better or for worse?) and where the lines need to be drawn in order for humanity to remain human. ( )