A neighbor invites you to a Seder; what should you bring? Your Hindi coworkers are getting married; what's an appropriate wedding present? You're visiting a new church with family; how much should you put in the offering plate? The mosque in your neighborhood is having an open house during Ramadan; is it OK to wear a crucifix?

All these mundane issues related with being a polite and gracious visitor in other people's homes and places of worship are covered in this handy reference book. When my son was very young, my husband and I agreed he could visit any church he liked, as long as I accomanied him. I got this book so that, no matter what kind of church we attend, we are always respectful of the worshippers there. It turned out to be useful for more than that, though, because they do not just explain the standard worship services. Customs for birth initiations (infant baptisms, naming ritutals), coming of age initiations (bar mitzvahs and adult baptism), weddings, funerals, and interments are all presented to help a visitor understand his hosts better.

Various Christian denominations and non-Christian faiths are presented, along with the basic tenets of their faiths (this is NOT intended to be a primer on theology, just a heads-up on what to expect), proper dress code for any kind of service, and an understanding of what constitutes polite in various religions. The authors are sensitive both to the guests and the hosts in their descriptions of everything from marriage customs and wedding ceremonies to whether or not a woman's hem needs to fall below her knees. Concepts about why these customs exist are not presented, so there is no judgment even implied about what is an acceptable custom. It is never suggested that a visitor must do something that is against their religious beliefs. In fact, the authors go so far as to explain what foods may be served and whether or not wine is served at meals and communions so the visitor won't be breaking any of his own doctrinal rules.

This is not intended to be a book read from cover-to-cover, as it repeats itself often. However, it is good to at least skim ahead of time so you are prepared when meeting someone from a new (to you) faith. One note, this books is only interested in organized faiths that are generally opened to outsiders, have large-ish populations, and that have set times and places to meet. They also do not dwell on the differences between sects of Judaism and Islam. Again, they are not explaining the tenets of faith in depth, just the outward polite practices. ( )

http://anotherlibrarian.blogspot.com/... ( )

Excellent etiquette handbook for participating in religions not your own, featuring information on what ceremonies you might and might not be allowed to participate in, and what is expected of you as a guest.