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Ant Farm: And Other Desperate Situations by…

Ant Farm: And Other Desperate Situations (2007)

by Simon Rich

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    Not Funny by Patrick Hennessey (Anonymous user)

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Read 2/10, re-read 2/12. This is definitely a book I'll keep coming back to when I want something light-hearted to read and inspire me. A bunch of short, funny essays and clips of dialogue or random ideas. ( )
  howifeelaboutbooks | Nov 4, 2015 |
Hilarious little tidbits, stories, and just general all-around funny excerpts. He makes you laugh in one page. That's saying something. The only other writer who can do so much w/ so little is Etgar Keret. Brilliant. ( )
  scoop1428 | Oct 26, 2014 |
A collection of very short humorous scenes and sketches, featuring such topics as the kids' idea of what people are talking about at the grown-ups' table, what the criminal justice system would look like if real life were like middle school, what that "may contain peanuts" note on food labels really means, and (my personal favorite) the canine version of The X-Files. ("Yesterday I fell asleep, and when I woke up, my testicles were missing.") These are generally more sort of modestly amusing than laugh-out-loud funny, but there's a certain kind of cleverness in its skewed-yet-strangely-rational perspectives that's appealing. ( )
  bragan | Dec 30, 2011 |
I was halfway through the book before I actually laughed out loud, but there were three more instances after that. Still a pretty low percentage, but I don't think it's quite my sense of humor. My boyfriend is more the target demographic and he laughed pretty much at everything. It became much more impressive when I read at the end that he wrote all this during his four years of undergrad (not only as a senior). That explains why almost everything is from a kid's perspective and how the few pieces in adult voice didn't ring quite true. Many gags are familiar and he doesn't put a new twist on them. But they're the first time for someone. The piece with the hockey players was the most ambitious and thus almost the most impressive (but definitely sad rather than funny, at least to me), but he made some assumptions that just couldn't hold up. The ones I actually laughed at were Medieval England, Stadium Proposal, Sultan of Brunei, and Life in the U.S. Army. ( )
  kristenn | Jan 10, 2010 |
In a series of brief yet highly imaginative sketches, Simon Rich creates clever fantasies based on questions and topics that most of us would never consider. What happens when elementary school children discover the true intent of the Politeness Game? Are those love coupons your girlfriend gave you still valid after you've been apart for years? And just how awkward is it when murderers run into their victims in heaven? These are only a few of many hilarious tales that Rich offers up in this fast-paced read.

Ant Farm is the perfect book for those in need of a quick dose of humor to brighten their day; simply open to any page, start reading, and laugh out loud. Each situation has a unique twist that makes you look at ordinary life in an entirely new way. This is the kind of book that you could read all the way through within the hour or dip back into from time to time - either way, it never loses it's spontaneity and intelligent wit. ( )
2 vote Aaven | May 27, 2009 |
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For my mom
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Then Abraham tied Isaac up and laid him on the altar over the wood.
SERVANT: We just gave them the boxes and told them to collect for UNICEF. We said it was for "a good cause," but we didn't get any more specific than that.

UNICEF: Ha ha ha! Those fools! Soon I will have all the money in the world. For I am UNICEF, evil king of Halloween!
A math teacher's new apartment is approximately 12 ft. long and 5 ft. wide, and the bathroom takes up 50% of the apartment. A normal human-size bed is 6 ft. x 3 ft. Does the math teacher have enough room for a standard bed? Or will he have to sleep in some kind of dog bed?
MR. BENDER: Okay class, now it's time to read one of your anonymous sex questions out loud. Here's one...

JONATHAN: Hey, Seymour, did you write that one? That looks like your handwriting.

SEYMOUR: Mr. Bender! Don't read it!

MR. BENDER: Please, no talking. It's very important that I answer this question. Whoever asked it is obviously incredibly confused about sex. These are not normal concerns. Not even close.

SETH: Hey, I bet that's Seymour's question. It's written in blue ink like all his homework assignments.

SEYMOUR: Oh, no!

MR. BENDER: Okay, let's see ... it's a seven-part question. The first part is about testicles.

SEYMOUR: Oh my God!
Her name is Tiffany Sparkle. She goes to a different school, a modeling academy in New Brunswick. He showed me some pictures of her from magazines, and believe me, she is hot. He met her over the summer, when he was visiting his grandparents in Canada. He saved her life. She was about to get run over by a double-decker bus when all of a sudden Jared skateboarded through traffic and pushed her out of the way. There was a huge crowd of Canadians standing around, and when Jared saved Tiffany's life everybody just started cheering like crazy. Then she kissed him on the mouth. When I heard that story, I was like "Give me a break!" because it was just about the coolest thing I had ever heard in my entire life!
SULTAN: Would you still love me if I were poor? Keep in mind that if you say no, one of my warriors will murder you.

CONCUBINE: Yes, I would love you no matter what!

SULTAN: Okay, good. Now ... do you want to see a movie or go bowling? Keep in mind that if you say bowling, one of my warriors will murder you.

CONCUBINE: Let's see a movie.

SULTAN: I am the Sultan of Brunei!
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A humorous compilation of essays offers an imaginative look at the comic extremes of serious circumstances, pondering such issues as what would happen if murderers, who had gotten into heaven by accepting Jesus, encounter their former victims.

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