The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap (edition 2000)

Also known as: Everything You Know About the American Family and the Social State Is Wrong, or, other lies your grandparents told you.

A little dry, in the endless evocation of statistics, but that's what gives it its power. It's certainly depressing, I think, because it points out the systematic failures of policy and rhetoric that has not been, you know, based in reality, so it's hard to avoid the sense that the whole problem of policy and myth and whatnot is just unsolvable. But it's really good at intersectionality, and the tone is clear and refreshingly direct throughout. ( )

If there's one thing that's great about this book is that it dismantles the myth that middle class white people "pulled themselves up by their bootstraps" to get where they are now. The GI Bill, highway system, low-interest mortgages and much more government aid helped build the middle class after World War II. Of course there's much more in this book about the mythology of the Golden Age of America's past and that makes it all the better still. A great book and recommended reading for all Americans. ( )

Not only was this book informative but it was fun to read. It is amazing what we will force ourself to believe based on movies, television (and even books) about a time period. Fiction works of the time really have younger generations seeing things much differently than they happened. Some deem this "romanticism" of an era or place. This book tries to lead us away from our misconceptions. ( )

We Americans have long cherished certain images of ourselves, many of which fall under the heading, "This is How Life Should Be Lived." The problem is not that these images don't exist outside the US--many have never really existed for us!

Here's just one example. "Always stand on your own two feet" (ie., the Horatio Alger-like reliance on self alone). The book cites Senator Phil Gramm, co-author of the Gramm-Rudman-Hollings amendment and famous for his opposition to "government handouts": Born to a father living on veterans disability pension, Gramm attended a publicly-funded university on a grant from the War Orphans Act. His graduate work was financed by the National Defense Education Act, and his first job was at a federal land-grant institution (Texas A&M University). His later work in slashing federal assistance programs for low-income Americans seems illogical to say the least--and, the book suggests, could only have met with success because of this national reverence for "standing on your own two feet."

Many aspects of our self-image as Americans are wonderful and true: Ours is a unique nation, borne of remarkable minds at a remarkable time in history, bringing admirable ideals into reality. This book suggests that we should keep our eyes open to creeping incursions into our self-image. Patriotic pride, justifiable though it may be, is a double-edged sword. "Know thyself," the Delphic Oracle said. This is as true today as it ever was. ( )

This book makes the case that maybe -- just maybe -- Ward and June had the odd argument when The Beaver wasn't looking. (Obviously, I'm oversimplifying, but that's the main idea. It's an extremely well-researched and thought-provoking book.) ( )