Hide this

Results from Google Books

Click on a thumbnail to go to Google Books.

Sausagey Santa by Carlton Mellick III

Sausagey Santa

by Carlton Mellick III

MembersReviewsPopularityAverage ratingMentions
343329,500 (3.79)3



Sign up for LibraryThing to find out whether you'll like this book.

No current Talk conversations about this book.

» See also 3 mentions

Showing 3 of 3
I had a blast reading this twisted Christmas tale full of scenes that left me chuckling while shaking my head and saying, out loud, "Wow!!" Mellick has an exciting imagination and writes books I can easily see myself re-reading again down the road and recommending to others. His stories are not for the kiddies but more of a play ground for adults as his covers suggest. I think fans of Heavy Metal magazine and the Heavy Metal animated film will enjoy this trip. ( )
  TBones | Dec 31, 2014 |
After I read "Shatnerquake" I was intrigued by the concept of "Bizarro fiction" picked this one since it fit the season. It's even weirder. It's exactly what it says on the tin. Santa is made of sausage. His fingers are Vienna sausages, and his head's a big bratwurst. According to the novel, he was immortal and got sick of living forever. But all his suicide attempts failed. So he fed himself through a meat grinder. This still didn't work so his enslaving elves transformed him into sausage so he could move around.

This is not the weird part.

The weird part comes from the main character who is married to a dominatrix who wants to be a Transformer, has a child who has some sort of growth in her head, twins that are forever strapped to his wife's back, who get their limbs lopped off in the battle with Frosty the Snowman, Santa's mortal enemy who controls coffee birds--flying amorphous blobs of congealed hatred.

Also there's sex with elves using extra-dimensional panties.

I think that's all I need to say. ( )
  theWallflower | Feb 24, 2014 |
I feel like I should like this book more than I do. In terms of sheer over-the-top Bizarro weirdness, it's certainly up there with Mellick's The Baby Jesus Butt Plug and Electric Jesus Corpse. Unfortunately, it all felt a bit rushed, a bit cramped. This is an epic tale of love, betrayal, war, and total fucking freakishness that deserves a full novel treatment, and it's a shame that Mellick didn't flesh it out more and give it a chance to breathe. It's still a good read and I'd recommend it, but it could have been so much more. ( )
  tankexmortis | Feb 9, 2009 |
Showing 3 of 3
no reviews | add a review
You must log in to edit Common Knowledge data.
For more help see the Common Knowledge help page.
Series (with order)
Canonical title
Original title
Alternative titles
Original publication date
Important places
Important events
Related movies
Awards and honors
First words
Last words
Disambiguation notice
Publisher's editors
Publisher series
Original language

References to this work on external resources.

Wikipedia in English


Book description
Haiku summary

No descriptions found.

No library descriptions found.

Quick Links

Swap Ebooks Audio
44 wanted1 pay

Popular covers


Average: (3.79)
0.5 1
3 4
4 8
5 4

Is this you?

Become a LibraryThing Author.


You are using the new servers! | About | Privacy/Terms | Help/FAQs | Blog | Store | APIs | TinyCat | Legacy Libraries | Early Reviewers | Common Knowledge | 117,019,696 books! | Top bar: Always visible