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If I Am Missing or Dead: A Sister's Story of…
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If I Am Missing or Dead: A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation

by Janine Latus

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Showing 1-5 of 29 (next | show all)
The title suggests this is a book about Amy Latus. In fact, it is the story of her sister, Janine, and I found it exhausting and overwhelming. It reads like a therapy session covering all of Janine's marital woes, problems with her father, issues with sex and other personal struggles. I wish her well - but I so did not want to read any of this (and indeed I often found myself skipping passages).
I never felt like I got to know Amy. There are plenty of the generalities that invariably come with death (she was wonderful, funny, thoughtful, etc.) but Amy - presumably the subject of this book - seems mostly like a visitor here. The author manages to offer hundreds of minute details about her own life, yet provides very few that would give readers a full picture of Amy. ( )
  Eliz12 | Jun 29, 2014 |
This is an emotional, raw book of how insecurity leads to believing that emotional and physical abuse in relationships is warranted and deserved. Knowing that its based on a true story, it is a very difficult book to read. I am so sad for what happened to Amy. There were many times that I just wanted to scream at all the characters in this book to just stop,, stop stop this craziness. I hope this family has found peace. The resolve is that they have each other. That always should have been enough. ( )
  booklovers2 | Jul 24, 2013 |
Just finished this book.
I for one did not read the back so I did not start to read with expectations. On the other hand, because of the cover i thought it was about 2 small children and one of them died because of abuse. Glad that was not the case.
The author did annoy me sometimes. she continually made the same mistakes. One thing I am very disappointed about is, what happened to her sister? I still do not know , and if I do a google search I do not get any results about the killing, only about this book.

If anyone knows a site where i can find more about what happened to Amy please I would appreciate if you'd let me know. thanks :) ( )
  Marlene-NL | Apr 12, 2013 |
At times I found the style of this book hard to read, but eventually I got through it. I was actually more interested to follow up the story on the Internet, but did not get very far. Any searches I did resulted in pages about the author. The coverage of the actual crime is very slight in the book. The real message was, I suppose, a warning to people associated with domestic violence because it can be so easily covered up by the perpetrator and the abused. The book mainly covers the author's own experiences, whereas the story of her sister's eventual murder from domestic violence is a foil to show how well both sisters were hiding the truth from each other and their families. ( )
  pansygarden | Feb 11, 2013 |
This is an incredible yet often told story in today's society. The title tells of the author's sister who is murdered at the hands of her boyfriend, but the book tells the author's own story of abuse. Riveting from beginning to end this book captured by heart. ( )
  Brenda63 | Dec 25, 2011 |
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Epigraph
Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.
- An inscription at the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C.

Most of us would rather claim to have always been perfect than to admit how much we've grown.
From Blood Done Sign My Name by Tim Tyson
Dedication
For Amy
First words
July 9, 2002

Two months ago I left my husband, and now, for the first time in years, I am neither scared nor angry.
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Book description
Janine Latus recounts her family's search for her younger sister, Amy, and the subsequent trial of her former boyfriend Ron Ball for the murder.
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0743296532, Hardcover)

In April 2002, Janine Latus's youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved, it read, but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...

That same spring Janine Latus was struggling to leave her marriage -- a marriage to a handsome and successful man. A marriage others emulated. A marriage in which she felt she could do nothing right and everything wrong. A marriage in which she felt afraid, controlled, inadequate, and trapped.

Ten weeks later, Janine Latus had left her marriage. She was on a business trip to the East Coast, savoring her freedom, attending a work conference, when she received a call from her sister Jane asking if she'd heard from Amy. Immediately, Janine's blood ran cold. Amy was missing.

Helicopters went up and search dogs went out. Coworkers and neighbors and family members plastered missing posters with Amy's picture across the county. It took more than two weeks to find Amy's body, wrapped in a tarpaulin and buried at a building site. It took nearly two years before her killer, her former boyfriend Ron Ball, was sentenced for her murder.

Amy died in silent fear and pain. Haunted by this, Janine Latus turned her journalistic eye inward. How, she wondered, did two seemingly well-adjusted, successful women end up in strings of physically or emotionally abusive relationships with men? If I Am Missing or Dead is a heart-wrenching journey of discovery as Janine Latus traces the roots of her own -- and her sister's -- victimization with unflinching candor. This beautifully written memoir will move readers from the first to the last page. At once a confession, a call to break the cycle of abuse, and a deeply felt love letter to her baby sister, Amy Lynne Latus, If I Am Missing or Dead is an unforgettable read.

(retrieved from Amazon Mon, 30 Sep 2013 13:34:56 -0400)

(see all 5 descriptions)

In April 2002, Janine Latus's youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer: "Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved, but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways." That same spring Janine was struggling to leave her marriage, to a handsome and successful man--a marriage in which she felt afraid, controlled, inadequate, and trapped. Ten weeks later, Janine had left her marriage when she learned Amy was missing. It took more than two weeks to find Amy's body, and two years to convict her former boyfriend for her murder. Haunted, Janine turned her journalistic eye inward. How did two seemingly well-adjusted, successful women end up in physically or emotionally abusive relationships with men? The resulting book traces the roots of her own--and her sister's--victimization with unflinching candor, a heart-wrenching journey of discovery.--From publisher description.… (more)

» see all 5 descriptions

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