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The Amateur Marriage: A Novel by Anne Tyler
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The Amateur Marriage: A Novel (original 2004; edition 2006)

by Anne Tyler

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3,036754,462 (3.58)73
Fiction. Literature. HTML:From the inimitable Anne Tyler, a rich and compelling novel about a mismatched marriageâ??and its consequences, spanning three generations.

They seemed like the perfect coupleâ??young, good-looking, made for each other. The moment Pauline, a stranger to the Polish Eastern Avenue neighborhood of Baltimore (though she lived only twenty minutes away), walked into his motherâ??s grocery store, Michael was smitten. And in the heat of World War II fervor, they are propelled into a hasty wedding. But they never should have married.

Pauline, impulsive, impractical, tumbles hit-or-miss through life; Michael, plodding, cautious, judgmental, proceeds deliberately. While other young marrieds, equally ignorant at the start, seemed to grow more seasoned, Pauline and Michael remain amateurs. In time their foolish quarrels take their toll. Even when they find themselves, almost thirty years later, loving, instant parents to a little grandson named Pagan, whom they rescue from Haight-Ashbury, they still cannot bridge their deep-rooted differences. Flighty Pauline clings to the notion that the rifts can always be patched. To the unyielding Michael, they become unbearable.

From the sound of the cash register in the old grocery to the counterculture jargon of the sixties, from the miniskirts to the multilayered apparel of later years, Anne Tyler captures the evocative nuances of everyday life during these decades with such telling precision that every page brings smiles of recognition. Throughout, as each of the competing voices bears witness, we are drawn ever more fully into the complex entanglements of family life in this wise, embracing, and deeply percepti
… (more)
Member:missjomarch
Title:The Amateur Marriage: A Novel
Authors:Anne Tyler
Info:Ballantine Books (2006), Mass Market Paperback, 352 pages
Collections:Your library, To read
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The Amateur Marriage by Anne Tyler (2004)

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Showing 1-5 of 73 (next | show all)
Did you get married to the human that your hormones were clamoring for? (Guilty. Resolved by divorce.) And then found out you made a mistake? At least my mistake has been a good provider. Something that should be taught starting in elementary school: a checklist to see if your friends live by mutual mores; how to choose a partner to create new humans with. Ok. On to this book.
I had so many laugh out loud moments. I don't know where the author got her material, but this was high comedy. But it was also sad. It was a portrayal of characters that is all-too realistic, and ends up creating deeply flawed, unhappy human beings because people make babies when they get married, regardless of whether they're compatible or not.
Pauline is an airhead riding the streetcar days after Pearl harbor, when she jumps off and cuts her head. Her girlfriends breathlessly bundle her into a nearby Polish grocery for a band-aid, and the owner's son cleans and bandages her cut. That was apparently enough reason for them to become boyfriend-girlfriend. The rah-rah atmosphere of neighborhood residents (and the whole country) causes the boy named Michael to enlist, and Pauline to gush over his patriotic fervor. He never makes it to the front; he is resentful and disgusted with the uncomfortable conditions and demanding physical training of bootcamp. Pauline sends him letters how she is going dancing with the local soldiers and he gets so furious that he tries to strangle his bunkmate who had an unrelenting cough, with a pillow. The cough-er returns the favor by (accidentally) shooting Michael in the ass. Michael is sent home walking with a cane. Now they marry and make three children. And the misery begins. ( )
  burritapal | Oct 23, 2022 |
Anne Tyler is one of a hand-full of writers who can write about the same location and the same kind of characters and never feel cliched or irrelevant. All her characters are so whole and authentic that as I read I keep thinking, "I know this person" or "OMG, that is me".

That is Tyler, in general, now for this novel specifically. Pauline and Michael (the members of the aforesaid amateur marriage) are two very flawed opposites, entangled in a death-grip and unable to communicate on any meaningful level. They cannot be happy together, but they are afraid that they will not be able to be happy apart. At some point I decided that what binds them to one another is the convenience of having someone to blame for their own shortcomings.

Underneath some rank hostility, unbelievable indifference to the other's feelings, and insurmountable differences, there is a current of honest affection that persists to the last page of the book. They have had an amateur marriage because they enter into it without any idea of what they are really committing to and they never crack the secret code that might have made it a happy one. Still, I couldn't help asking myself, aren't all marriages amateur. Who knows what they will encounter, how they will deal with each other's quirks and needs, if they can juggle the responsibilities of aging parents and children and living in a house with intimates who sometimes feel like strangers. If you haven't experienced any of that, you can count yourself lucky indeed. ( )
  mattorsara | Aug 11, 2022 |
This is a story that portrays a couple who meet and marry at the beginning of the US entering WWII. They fall in love but they are very different from each other and it seems they are unable to grow into each other thus "amateur" marriage. They never mature. They marry, have children, and have grandchildren. It's a story of ordinary people, living ordinary lives. What Tyler does well is develop her characters. I can't say I liked any of these characters very much. They are flawed like we all are and I am sure their problems are shared by many. I enjoyed the story. Rated it 3.6 ( )
  Kristelh | Aug 9, 2022 |
I have read many of Anne Tyler's novels. It's amazing how she can take any routine situation and create a storyline with wonderful character development. This novel starts at the beginning of WWII (1940's) and spans about one-half century. It begins with a short relationship between spirited Pauline and serious Michael, they fall in love and marry. From the beginning, they were a mismatched couple with very different personalities which put a strain on both of them and, eventually, their three children. One child as a teen ran away and that put more problems in their lives. So this novel also focuses on other family members and their relationships to the two protagonists.

Tyler manages to make the reader feel sympathetic with the characters despite their foolish behavior. She makes it easy to get inside a character's thoughts. I don't want to include spoilers but I must say I was happy with the ending. The last sentence was a tear-jerker! ( )
  pegmcdaniel | Jun 30, 2022 |
I have read a lot of bad reviews about The Amature Marriage and settled down to listen to Disc #1 and thinking I would be very be very disappointed! Not so, I think the reader or the listener takes away from stories what they are seeking. Anne Tyler may be for everyone but she is for me. I love the fully developed characters and how they interact with each other. I also love family stories. Action and complex plots are not important to me. If you like what I like, you will love this book.

This starts off, with the two main characters, Michael and Pauline. They met when Pauline's friends hurried her to the grocery store when she hurt herself getting off a streetcar. Pauline is impulsive, pretty and exciting. Michael was dutiful, painstaking and hard to please.They got married in a hurry even though they definitely were not meant for each other. They had a long marriage and children which we follow their lives.

Each child is different and they come to very different ends. The marriage was a disaster, many quarrels and you can see the resut in the children's personalities. Change does come when Michael listens to Pauline and decides that yes he can leave. It was like that idea had not really occurred to him before.

I do not want to tell much more. Personlly, I am a little like Pauline with long line of male friends, none of whom were very promising and like Michael, I felt a liberation when I told my first that I wanted a divorce. We are all different, different mixes of characters and experiences. But for me, this was a truly satisfying story. ( )
  Carolee888 | Feb 9, 2022 |
Showing 1-5 of 73 (next | show all)

» Add other authors (11 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Tyler, Anneprimary authorall editionsconfirmed
Brown, BlairNarratorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed

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Anyone in the neighborhood could tell you how Michael and Pauline first met.
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He must have caught sight of Pauline from the street; you could tell by his artificial start of surprise. ‘Oh! Pauline! It’s you!’ He said. (He’d never have made an actor.)
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(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
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Fiction. Literature. HTML:From the inimitable Anne Tyler, a rich and compelling novel about a mismatched marriageâ??and its consequences, spanning three generations.

They seemed like the perfect coupleâ??young, good-looking, made for each other. The moment Pauline, a stranger to the Polish Eastern Avenue neighborhood of Baltimore (though she lived only twenty minutes away), walked into his motherâ??s grocery store, Michael was smitten. And in the heat of World War II fervor, they are propelled into a hasty wedding. But they never should have married.

Pauline, impulsive, impractical, tumbles hit-or-miss through life; Michael, plodding, cautious, judgmental, proceeds deliberately. While other young marrieds, equally ignorant at the start, seemed to grow more seasoned, Pauline and Michael remain amateurs. In time their foolish quarrels take their toll. Even when they find themselves, almost thirty years later, loving, instant parents to a little grandson named Pagan, whom they rescue from Haight-Ashbury, they still cannot bridge their deep-rooted differences. Flighty Pauline clings to the notion that the rifts can always be patched. To the unyielding Michael, they become unbearable.

From the sound of the cash register in the old grocery to the counterculture jargon of the sixties, from the miniskirts to the multilayered apparel of later years, Anne Tyler captures the evocative nuances of everyday life during these decades with such telling precision that every page brings smiles of recognition. Throughout, as each of the competing voices bears witness, we are drawn ever more fully into the complex entanglements of family life in this wise, embracing, and deeply percepti

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