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Real Vampires Have Curves (Glory St. Claire,…
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Real Vampires Have Curves (Glory St. Claire, Book 1) (edition 2007)

by Gerry Bartlett

MembersReviewsPopularityAverage ratingMentions
5262445,809 (3.45)18
What-did you think all vamps were pale, thin and brooding? Don't I wish. Gloriana St. Clair is an eternally "full-figured" vampire-she just happened to be bloating when a sexy Scotsman sank his teeth into her. She and said Scot-Angus Jeremiah Campbell III, aka Jeremy Blade-have been on and off again for centuries, currently off. A couple hundred years has taught them how to press each other's buttons-in good ways and bad. Glory's headed for Austin and a new business venture: Vintage Vamp's Emporium. After all, she loves clothes, and she is an antique. Only problem is, there's a billionaire techno-freak vampire hunter on the loose. Blade's in total he-vampire mode, and wants Glory to move in with him so he can "protect" her. But it's time for this vamp to explore her own powers… (more)
Member:bookjunkie57
Title:Real Vampires Have Curves (Glory St. Claire, Book 1)
Authors:Gerry Bartlett
Info:Berkley Trade (2007), Paperback, 336 pages
Collections:Imported
Rating:****
Tags:None

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Real Vampires Have Curves by Gerry Bartlett

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» See also 18 mentions

Showing 1-5 of 24 (next | show all)
This book was so funny. I fell in love with the main character Glorianna St. Claire immediately ! She is a real sized woman, who is sassy, snarky, clumsy, independent and a 400 year old vampire that could pass for a college gal. She finds herself in some crazy situations with her talking labradoodle bodyguard and a hunky Scottish man friend.
This story was hard to put put down. Lively, fast paced, and full of colorful personalities. It wasn't just crazy vampires running around Texas in this tale. The curves in the book left me smiling and laughing out loud.
Can't wait to see what the next adventure will be. ( )
  Zombimomi | Feb 7, 2024 |
I picked this book up to read as filler before starting my february reading challenge. I loved it! It was more satirical then I originally planned but written well. You become familiar with the characters very early on, and understand all the interpersonal conflict. Wasn't the best book I ever read, but it was a good book in its own right. ( )
  clove311 | Jan 9, 2020 |
I bought this trash because it was in the 75% off bargin bin at Books-A-Million and I can never pass up a 75% off bargin bin at a book store. I absolutely have to buy something. Books that cheap, it's like crack cocaine.

Well, it's a good thing I didn't spend any more money on this book. I think even the $3.97 was too much. The writing wasn't bad but the rest of the book was just...trash. There's just no other way to put it.

I guess if you like romance novels this might be a fun book for you to read, but I hate romance novels. I hate the put on "strong, independent woman" characterization that most romance novels contain. For instance, "I'm a strong woman. I don't need a man, but that man makes me soooo hot! I just have to have him." She sleeps with him - it's all lusty and good - and then she gets mad because he's infringing upon her independence again. What? ugh, vampire, please!

Also, there was nothing new in this. Nothing at all new in the vampire - romance - fiction genre. Rich vampires. Vampires that love sex. Boys fighting over girl. The only thing even close to being new is that the heroine, Gloriana St. Claire (or Glory to her friends, ugh) is a woman with some extra curves. Which she goes back and forth loving her lucsious curvy figure and hating it. ENOUGH!

Only read this book is you absolutely have to read all the absolutely awful vampire/romance/chick lit/silly vampire books out there. It's along the same lines as Dead and Unwed (although that was even better than this!) ( )
  wendithegray | May 1, 2017 |
Glory's body issues were un expected but the overall story was really good. Can't wait to read the next installment. ( )
  bookjunkie57 | Apr 17, 2015 |
Okay- it might be time for me to take a break from the vampires though :) ( )
  wwrawson | Mar 31, 2013 |
Showing 1-5 of 24 (next | show all)
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What-did you think all vamps were pale, thin and brooding? Don't I wish. Gloriana St. Clair is an eternally "full-figured" vampire-she just happened to be bloating when a sexy Scotsman sank his teeth into her. She and said Scot-Angus Jeremiah Campbell III, aka Jeremy Blade-have been on and off again for centuries, currently off. A couple hundred years has taught them how to press each other's buttons-in good ways and bad. Glory's headed for Austin and a new business venture: Vintage Vamp's Emporium. After all, she loves clothes, and she is an antique. Only problem is, there's a billionaire techno-freak vampire hunter on the loose. Blade's in total he-vampire mode, and wants Glory to move in with him so he can "protect" her. But it's time for this vamp to explore her own powers

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What-did you think all vamps were pale, thin and brooding? Don't I wish.

Gloriana St. Clair is an eternally "full-figured" vampire-she just happened to be bloating when a sexy Scotsman sank his teeth into her. She and said Scot-Angus Jeremiah Campbell III, aka Jeremy Blade-have been on and off again for centuries, currently off. A couple hundred years has taught them how to press each other's buttons-in good ways and bad.

Glory's headed for Austin and a new business venture: Vintage Vamp's Emporium. After all, she loves clothes, and she is an antique. Only problem is, there's a billionaire techno-freak vampire hunter on the loose. Blade's in total he-vampire mode, and wants Glory to move in with him so he can "protect" her. But it's time for this vamp to explore her own powers

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