This is one of the best book I've read so far.

Joan Didion wrote an amazing and unforgettable account on the death of her husband and illness of her daughter which happened within the same year. Of all the books on death--those self-help ones or religious ones--this is the book which truly helped me to understand more about grief and find comfort in that other people go through the same thing too. It wasn't about understanding death (who knows about death, really?), it was embracing the grief, realizing that all the thoughts I had and feelings I went through wasn't craziness, that trying to hold on is normal. She described perfectly all the emotions I couldn't put into words. I was reading the book and in my head I kept saying, Yes, yes! That's exactly how I felt, that's exactly what I was thinking. Grief is not something to just "get over", as Didion wrote.

Losing my mother was hard enough, I can't imagine losing my husband. It was amazing how she coped with both events--devastating events. I would've broken down and not be able to stand up unless God wills it. And for her to be able to write this book is miraculous.

Truly magical thinking.

Worth reading, if only for the insight into the inner workings of the mind of the recently bereaved. ( )

I didn’t dislike this book, but I didn’t really get anything out of it either. It is a difficult subject matter – no one wants to think about their closest loved ones dying – but what makes Didion’s grief any different than anyone else’s? There isn’t even any sort of insight into how one should deal with their grief and move on (or at least forward), because Didion didn’t deal with it, she wallowed in it, using it as an excuse to essentially check out of life. The only thing I found even a little insightful was at the beginning, when she talks about grief being a mental illness rather than some temporary condition. I think the book might have been more interesting if it had been written later and was about both the death of her husband and her daughter (who did eventually pass away in 2005).

As a side note, this was the selection for my book club this month, and it was universally disliked. Most of the women in the group are over 50, and I think their general thought was 'Oh, just get over it already!' ( )

I don't know that I have anything intelligent, witty, or critical to say about this. The palpable grief revealed in these pages left me thinking too long and too hard about how I would deal with my own husband's death. The deep-sinking-sickness in my torso is a small scratch to the horror of the real experience, but it was enough to make reading this book uncomfortable.

I will say, however, that I was impressed by Didion's honesty and her consistency. This is not a self-help book or a "one woman's journey of personal discovery" book; for me at least, this was an honest and heart-wrenching look, not at how one recovers from the death of a spouse, but at how one does not recover. And that feels so much more real to me than the myriad other books out there on the subject that hold on to hope as the central message.

Memorable Scene: When Joan's daughter, Quintana, needs a tracheostomy, Joan refuses. Her mind is convinced that if the operation isn't performed, Quintana will be fine. She can see the illogic but can't feel it: "This was demented, but so was I."

Memorable Quote: Nor can we know ahead of the fact (and here lies the heart of the difference between grief as we imagine it and grief as it is) the unending absence that follows, the void, the very opposite of meaning, the relentless succession of moments during which we will confront the experience of meaningless itself. ( )

Bought this after reading the excerpt in the NY Times Magazine. It's good, but you could probably stick with the excerpt. ( )