Blind Shrike

http://manybooks.net/titles/kadreyrother07blind_shrike.html

Spyder man, Spyder man, likes a blind girl who swordfights can.

Sitting around, having a not so quiet drink in a bar, and not too long after it all literally goes to Hell.

Or, if someone wants you to retrieve a book and it is somewhere like there, then maybe they really aren't very nice at all. Reading more comics and books would have prepared you more for this situation.

A weird, crazy urban fantasy with norman living interspersed with monsters, demons, and angels. Or, after the start, it all gets a little Simon R. Green via Hellblazer, complete with weapon wielding maniacs and manically evil bad things.

Apparently there's an early, shorter version called Blind Shrike - the name of one of the main characters in the book.

""Idiot, you're a hero now. You're going to have to learn to think on a larger scale," said Lucifer. He used his kerchief to slap at the dust that had settled on his clothes. "You just cracked open a hole in the universe, deceived the devil, wrecked Hell and sent the Black Clerks packing. Even I couldn't do all that and I can do a lot. Yet with all that to your credit, you're telling me you can't defeat one dying hag?"
"I wouldn't know where to begin."
"You have a warrior by your side and the Prince of Darkness for a friend. What you don't know is how to ask for help, but that is how we gain knowledge and improve ourselves."
"Okay," said Spyder. He leaned back his head, threw out his arms and shouted as loudly as he could, "Help!" "

Pretty entertaining stuff, all around.

http://freesf.blogspot.com/2008/04/butcher-bird-richard-kadrey.html ( )