The Gift of Fear (original 1997; edition 1998)

by Gavin De Becker

Series: Gavin de Becker's Fear Books (1)

Members	Reviews	Popularity	Average rating	Mentions
3,093	63	4,385	(3.98)	26
True fear is a gift. Unwarranted fear is a curse. Learn how to tell the difference. A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust--and act on--our gut instincts. In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger--before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including...how to act when approached by a stranger...when you should fear someone close to you...what to do if you are being stalked...how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls...the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person...and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.… (more)

▾Book information

Member:	sbradley
Title:	The Gift of Fear
Authors:	Gavin De Becker
Info:	Dell (1998), Mass Market Paperback, 432 pages
Collections:	Your library
Rating:
Tags:	NF

Work Information

The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker (1997)

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Showing 1-5 of 63 (next | show all)

An interesting and insightful perspective into the darker side of the human psyche. Offers tools anyone can use to better master their basic instincts. (

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eaharms1 | Feb 19, 2024 |

Another book that is a waste of time that I got free from the library as an audiobook. The author is a psycho analyst, and he claims that this woman came to him to tell the story of her horrific rape, which is all accounted in a graphic exploited way, which I couldn’t bear to listen to. The point that the author is actually making is listen to your instincts when you’re worried about being mugged, it wasn’t necessary to go on with such ghastly details that would actually make people much more scared. (

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laurelzito | Jan 28, 2024 |

This book saved my life. I had just finished reading this book when I was abducted at 17. I recalled what was said in this book and was able to convince my abductor to drop me off with only minimal assault. I recommend this book to everyone. (

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OscarDara | Jun 3, 2023 |

We are all irreplaceable, and fortunately it’s up to our own autonomy to prevent a lot of the dangers in the world.

This book helps teach you to recognize and understand the signs and signals your own body shows you. But it’s so much more than that. I think anyone can read and benefit from the knowledge this book offers. (

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CasualShino | Jun 2, 2023 |

There were some things I didn't love but I think this is helpful/important enough to give it 5 stars. I learned a lot and I'm going to use a lot of what I learned. That said, I disagreed with a few things, like telling the police to trust their fear. That's a bad idea. Telling a woman alone in a park to trust her fear is different than telling a racist gun-wielding dangerous cop to trust that he should trust their fear (typically of innocent Black people). I also thought he could have talked more about how the police are often perpetrators, not just ignorers of crime. Like, cops literally don't legally have to protect us and they do much more harm than good, and yet people trust them, so that would have been a good thing to talk about. Also, it did come across as victim-blaming at certain points, but at least he was kind of self-aware (essentially by saying that he's not trying to victim blame) but it still could have used some more nuance. Anyway, I think it's a realllly important read and I recommend it to pretty much everybody. (

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ninagl | Jan 7, 2023 |

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▾Published reviews

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thingScore 93

Packed tight with insight and practical wisdom; a remarkable distillation of de Becker's unique experience. There are ideas in this courageous book that can - and will - save lives.

added by ArrowStead | editInside of book, John Monahan - Professor of Psychology & Legal Medicine University of Virginia Law School & Author of "Predicting Violent Behavior"

Vivid and emotionally compelling; shatters common misconceptions about crime and offers priceless wisdom that can save your life.

added by ArrowStead | editInside of book, Anthony Robbins - Author of "Awaken the Giant Within" "Unlimited Power"

If you read de Becker's book, you will understand why you must never ignore the tiny flickers of doubt...he lays out his strategies, some of them controversial, for demystifying, defusing and predicting violence.

added by ArrowStead | editInside of book, Los Angeles Times

A modern-day survival manual for everyone in our society, uniquely and firmly founded on Gavin de Becker's extensive experiences, and on his own life. This book contains wisdom that transcends traditional approaches to violence.

added by ArrowStead | editInside of book, Robert Ressler - FBI Behavioral Scientist & Author of "Whoever Fights Monsters"

Gavin de Becker's brilliant insights and encyclopedic familiarity with the minds of criminals have made powerful contributions to the successful prosecution of many cases, including mine, and now he shares that knowledge with his readers.

added by ArrowStead | editInside of book, Marcia Clark - Prosecutor

"The Gift of Fear" offers the gift of survival. Read it.

added by ArrowStead | editInside of book, Linden Gross - Author of "To Have or to Harm"

Compelling...Should be required reading for women in the nineties AND their loved ones. It offers potentially lifesaving information in a style that is compelling. It is by far the best book I have read on how to handle violence, and I recommend it to one and all.

added by ArrowStead | editInside of book, Theresa Saldana - Actress & Founder of Victims for Victims

A tour de force: riveting, instructive, a book that dissects the phenomenon of violence, unravels its mysteries, and shows us how to prevail.

added by ArrowStead | editInside of book, Erika Holzer - Lawyer & Author of "Eye for an Eye"

Superb and compelling, bringing into focus the complexity of human response to real or perceived danger. De Becker redefines the parameters of fear and challenges the basis of a fear response. This book is for everyone who has ever feared.

added by ArrowStead | editInside of book, Ann Wolpert Burgess - Professor of Nursing University of Pennsylvania

Gavin de Becker's book is the first to explain that our powers of intuition are the best protection we have against violence.

added by ArrowStead | editInside of book, Daniel M. Petrocelli - Lead Counsel for Plaintiffs in Fred Goldman v. O. J. Simpson

A fascinating look at violence in American life. De Becker's career has given him an unparalleled vantage point, and his book shows how the lessons of that career can apply to all of us.

added by ArrowStead | editInside of book, Jeffrey Toobin - Author of "The Run of His Life: The People v. O. J. Simpson"

This book can save your life. Should be read by everyone who wants to triumph over fear.

added by ArrowStead | editInside of book, Scott Gordon - Chairman of the Domestic Violence Council

De Becker has a lot to say about crime and the fear of crime, and he says it persuasively...his blend of empathy, reassurance and common sense wows readers.

added by ArrowStead | editNewsweek

A how-to book that reads like a thriller...provocative...empowering.

added by ArrowStead | editBoston Globe

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Gavin de Becker's Fear Books (1)

▾Awards and Honors

Awards

Audie Award (Finalist – Personal Development (Self-Help) – 1998)

Distinctions

New York Times bestseller (Nonfiction – 1997)

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1997

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Epigraph

This above all, to refuse to be a victim. - Margaret Atwood

Dedication

To the two people who taught me the most about
courage and kindness: my sisters, Chrysti and Melissa.
And for my mother, and grandfather, and father.
And for Ochun.

First words

He had probably been watching her for awhile.

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(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)

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Civil Harassment Restraining Order

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Gavin de Becker

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▾Book descriptions

True fear is a gift. Unwarranted fear is a curse. Learn how to tell the difference. A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust--and act on--our gut instincts. In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger--before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including...how to act when approached by a stranger...when you should fear someone close to you...what to do if you are being stalked...how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls...the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person...and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.

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