This is not a great book, but the ideas in it are well worth reading for almost every married person. The basic premise is that women need love from their husbands and men need respect from their wives. Eggerichs uses Scripture and his years of counseling and conference experience to back this up. My one complaint with the book is that it really could have been adequately explained in a long (10,000 words or so) magazine article. ( )

Invaluable advice on improving and saving marriage relationships using Biblical principles. ( )

One of the best relationship books I've read, and the only one with the courage to tell the full truth -- love is not the whole equation, because while women generally want to be loved above all else, men typically want to be respected.

The statement alone causes shock in this society, that has been taught that we only have to love each other more. We have been taught that women should love their husbands, but nag them and manipulate them to do what they want. I have heard it myself when a man asks for love, a woman will say, "You don't care that I love you?"

The truth has been in the Bible the whole time. Women are instructed to respect and honor their husbands while husbands are to love their wives. Eggerichs painstakingly shows how showing a man more respect can even bring more love into a marriage.

I recommend it highly to all married couples, but more than anything else, build your relationship on Christ and it will succeed. ( )

A fantastic work that goes a long way to describe the conflict in most marriages. The author demonstrates how women primarily seek love and men primarily seek respect from their spouses respectively. When they do not receive such, they act in unloving or disrespectful ways to get it (called the crazy cycle). In order to change this, the author points the reader in various directions to show love to women or to show respect to men (called the energizing cycle). The author also considers what one should do when one's spouse does not reciprocate: do it anyway (rewarded cycle). For Christians, the conclusion is quite powerful: we act in ways that unconditionally love/honor our spouses not as much for them but for Christ.

A few concerns about standard Evangelical theology, but those are not sufficient to hinder the power of this excellent book. Greatly recommended. ( )

Having read many books on marriage and learned about love languages, purpose driven relationships, and numerous steps to healthy matrimony, I expected this book to be more of the same.

I was pleasantly surprised. Dr. Eggerichs takes a refreshing (if sometimes overstated) approach. Many marriage counseling books emphasize the need for men to love their wives unconditionally. This is the first one I have read, however, that puts equal emphasis on the need (and scriptural mandate) for wives to respect their husbands unconditionally.

The author breaks biblical concepts down into bite-sized pieces ("pink and blue", C.O.U.P.L.E., C.H.A.I.R.S.) and consistently drives home his point.

There is a lot of Bible, a lot of common sense, and a lot of passion in this book. It pointed out areas of growth and areas of need in my own marriage, and I will be making great use of it in the future in counseling other couples.

www.comingstobrazil.com