Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately… (2004)

You can find my full review at Quieted Waters.

Dr. Eggerich’s unique contribution to relationship literature is his focus upon the husband’s need to be respected by his wife. While men and women need both love and respect, they differ in which is a higher priority. Dr. Eggerich cites a study in which 74 percent of men reported that they would rather be alone and unloved than to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone, and he references frequently Paul’s exhortation in Ephesians that women are to respect their husbands. ( )

You can find my full review at Quieted Waters.

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’s book, Love & Respect, is a tale of two halves. In the first half of the book, Dr. Eggerich introduces his relationship philosophy, coming from Ephesians 5:33: “The husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Could it be any clearer than that? Paul isn’t making suggestions; he is issuing commands from God Himself.” In the second half, he proposes six practical ways in which men can effectively love their wives and six practical ways in which women can respect their husbands.

Dr. Eggerich’s unique contribution to relationship literature is his focus upon the husband’s need to be respected by his wife. While men and women need both love and respect, they differ in which is a higher priority. Dr. Eggerich cites a study in which 74 percent of men reported that they would rather be alone and unloved than to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone, and he references frequently Paul’s exhortation in Ephesians that women are to respect their husbands. ( )

A very good book for everyone. ( )

Wonderful book, I am recommending ti to couples who are having problems! ( )

"The Love She Most Desires. The respect he desperately needs".

I wish I could give a book six stars because this one absolutely earned it! I found that this one book answered 95% of the questions I had in regards to how to best communicate and honour my husband. Although many marriage books give great tips, ‘Love & Respect’ got to the core of how and why men and women interpret love very very differently.

Here are my four best take-aways from the book:

1. The core of great marital communication through love and respect is Biblically based "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Eph 5:33. When God gives wisdom, you know you can’t go wrong!

2. Dr.Eggerich’s defines the ‘Crazy Cycle’: without love she reacts, without respect he reacts…..repeat, repeat….He gives amazing tips for how to get off the crazy cycle and truly communicate in a way that makes sense to your partner.

3. He explains that men and women hear and see with respective blue and pink glasses and hearing aids. What a woman says from a pink position will be interpreted very differently by her blue husband. The two genders do not process communication the same way and often feelings get hurt. He explains how to understand what your pink or blue spouse needs to hear and the way they need to hear it.

4. The author gives in depth insights into how your spouse is reassured of your love through the clever acronyms of COUPLE and CHAIRS. If you’ve ever wondered what your spouse needs from you in order to have a full "love tank", the answers are right here and they are guaranteed not what you have been taught in any other book.

If you want to create more connection, more friendship, and more understanding in your marriage then this is the book for you.