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The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an…

The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World (2002)

by Marti Olsen Laney

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There were many things in this book that resonated with me. Living among extroverts, I find myself comparing myself and trying to be like them. Or I find myself feeling guilty for my need to be alone and process life. Yet reading this I realize God has made me a certain way, and that introversion is not a bad thing. There is actually a physiological reality in my brain that makes me the way I am!

Laney gives some practical advice for being an introvert. Some things I have already instinctively learned, but some were new. One of my favorites is strategies for going to a large group gathering such as a party. I recently used her sea urchin strategy when I found myself walking into a party where I knew everyone, but I still had the initial pang of anxiety, "where do I start? what do I say?" Instead, I just smiled at my own awkward feelings inside, knowing, "hey this is me" and then I found a good location to sit and just wait for, as Laney describes, the flow of people to come to me. Like an anemone attaches itself on a rock waiting for the current to bring along food, you can plant yourself in location waiting for people you can invite into pleasant, meaningful conversation. What a better way to enjoy talking to friends rather than trying to act like an extrovert, who actually enjoys going from person to person engaging in small talk! (My nightmare!)

I also enjoyed the chapter on the brain. It gives me some comfort to know there is a reason why I can't always think of what to say on the spot, or why I have trouble articulating myself in a moment's notice.

If you feel like you are an introvert (and there is a spectrum from super introversion to a little bit of introversion), this book will be very validating. If you love an introvert, this will help you understand them better. ( )
  kerchie1 | Jun 9, 2017 |
A lot has been written about introverts lately. This author describes her struggle to accept her "introversion" (though to my non-professional eyes I think Asperger's figures in as much as introversion). I was turned off by the frequent quotes that headed sections of each chapter, and a style that in general came across to me as "cute" to the point of trivializing, but I am sure that is because of my own make-up (I am, according to the two quizzes in the book, extremely introverted). I also take exception to the idea that 75% of people are extroverts - certainly not world-wide. I would not tell someone not to get this book, but I did not find it very helpful to me. ( )
  davemac | Jun 30, 2016 |
Both encouraging and frustrating. Good to see Introverts championed, and some interesting examples of possible Introvert problems with suggested solutions, and real life anecdotes.

On the other hand, the author seems to confuse Introversion with the NF (Idealist/catalyst) temperament at times, and some of what is written wouldn't apply at all to - for instance - ISFP or ISTP Introverts.

I'd say five stars for the first half, which looked at Introversion in general, but only three for the second half, where the discussion was more about the INFP personality type - interesting though it was, but confusing to anyone who doesn't know about the Myers-Briggs/Jungian types. So four overall.

Certainly recommended to Extraverts who are struggling to understand their Introverted colleagues or loved ones. ( )
  SueinCyprus | Jan 26, 2016 |
Read like pop psychology of which I am not a big fan. Also very wordy; seemed like several blog posts fluffed to make a book. ( )
  JWhitsitt | Mar 17, 2014 |
Finally finished this book, it is really the best on the subject that I have yet read. Very good field guide to surviving the world as an introvert. ( )
  swampygirl | Dec 9, 2013 |
Showing 1-5 of 19 (next | show all)
If you've been called shy, a shrinking violet, or a wallflower; if your friends tease you about still waters that run deep; or if you feel that you're just not a "people" person, you may find this book very revealing. Dr. Laney, an introvert herself, convincingly explains the reasons for your behavior, and the differences between an introvert (you) and an extrovert (most of the rest of the world).
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Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a gift and not giving it.
—William A. Ward

To my Husband of thirty-eight years, Michael,who dragged me out into extroverting and enlarged my universe. I dedicate this book to you for coaching me to keep breathing through the long labor of the book birthing process. And you are awarded the Highest Medal of Husbandry Honor for devoting so many hours to read page after page about introverts (more than any mortal extrovert should ever have to). Last, but not least, a final thank-you for delivering nourishing meals to me as I sat staring and pecking at my computer.

    To my daughters and their families, who I love very much and who have enriched my live in countless ways:

    Tynna, Brian, Alicia, and Christopher DeMellier

    Kristen, Gary, Kaitlin, and Emily Parks

    I also dedicate this book to all my clients who have courageously let me into their lives.
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0761123695, Paperback)

At least one out of four people prefers to avoid the limelight, tends to listen more than they speak, feels alone in large groups, and requires lots of private time to restore their energy. They're introverts, and here is the book to help them boost their confidence while learning strategies for successfully living in an extrovert world.

After dispelling common myths about introverts-they're not necessarily shy, aloof, or antisocial--The Introvert Advantage explains the real issues. Introverts are hardwired from birth to focus inward, so outside stimulation-chitchat, phone calls, parties, office meetings-can easily become "too much."

The Introvert Advantage dispels introverts' belief that something is wrong with them and instead helps them recognize their inner strengths-their analytical skills, ability to think outside the box, and strong powers of concentration. It helps readers understand introversion and shows them how to determine where they fall on the introvert/extrovert continuum. It provides tools to improve relationships with partners, kids, colleagues, and friends, offering dozens of tips, including 10 ways to talk less and communicate more, 8 ways to showcase your abilities at work, how to take a child's temperament temperature, and strategies for socializing. Finally, it shows how to not just survive, but thrive-how to take advantage of the introvert's special qualities to create a life that's just right for the introvert temperament, to discover new ways to expand their energy reserves, and even how, when necessary, to confidently become a temporary extrovert.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:19:36 -0400)

Describes how introverts can work with their temperament to live a fullfilling life and thrive in an extrovert world, covering such topics as relationships, parenting, socializing, and coping in the workplace.

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