An illuminating look at the position of "plural wives" -- women in religiously-based polygamous relationships. Irene Spencer's story focuses on the LeBaron polygamous group, a splinter fundamentalist Mormon sect based out of Mexico. Note, this is the sect that was involved in a series of murders in the 1970s and 1980s under the direction of Ervil LeBaron (the narrator's brother-in-law); while it splintered from and has ties with the "FLDS" based primarily out of Colorado City, Arizona, and run by Warren Jeffs, it is a separate sect. This memoir does not detail the LeBaron murders, however; for that, see The 4 O'Clock Murders, or His Favorite Wife by Susan Ray Phillips.

This book is also not an abuse survivor memoir. Unlike the polygamy memoirs coming out of members of the FLDS church ("Stolen Innocence" by Elissa Wall; "Escape" by Carolyn Jessop; "Lost Boy" by Brent Jeffs; "Church of Lies" by Flora Jessop), Spencer does not detail (nor apparently experienced) egregious child abuse and domestic violence.

Instead, Spencer offers a perfect case study of a woman led by her own religious faith into an unhappy plural marriage. There was family pressure both for and against her plural marriage, but ultimately she describes that she wanted to be "exalted", to rule another world with her husband (and his other wives) rather than suffer any of the other fates described by her theology.

Without a backstory fraught by abuse, Spencer's memoir offers the opportunity to examine a more "normal" look at a polygamous household. Thus, Spencer's memoir focuses on the nitty-gritty details of what it is like to live in a a plural marriage. Economic sustainability is impossible--as the number of wives and children multiplies faster than any salary can rise, the standard of living must inevitably fall. Co-parenting is done with the sister-wives, and only to the extent that family comity permit; the patriarch cannot possibly be an effective parent to his children, and at best can be only a financial provider, leavening beneficient neglect with occasional positive presence. Relationships among the sister-wives can be strong, but are also routinely strained by rivalries and competitions created by scarcity of economic, domestic, and affectional resources. The basic needs of an adult for emotional and sexual intimacy simply cannot be met in a rotating schedule, no matter how fairly devised. Favoritism is inevitable, no matter how everyone tries to play fair.

I was also struck by Spencer's former and current religious faith, and I think her memoir may offer some insight for the non-believer. Spencer did not discard her earlier religious beliefs because they ceased to make sense -- a classic atheist narrative. Instead, she discarded them because they made her unhappy. She places utter credence in a variety of spiritual revelations and beliefs -- from fortune-telling, which she believed even though it isn't "godly" communications; to precognitive visions of various sorts, which pop up throughout the memoir both from Spencer and occasionally others; and ultimately, of course, Spencer became a born-again Christian, abandoning Mormonism altogether. At core, this exhibits a sort of pragmatic wish-fulfillment that mystifies me, but is not, I think, uncommon among the faithful. So, I would mark this book as of interest to freethinkers who are interested in how the other half thinks.

Note: Regarding the literary values of Shattered Dreams: Spencer's memoir is competently written, her story is clearly told, and her voice -- naive, yearning, disillusioned, frank -- emerges clearly, which is what I look for from memoirists. I prefer not to comment further on the literary values of memoirs unless they stand out in some way; the point of a memoir, to me, is a window on that person's life or experience, not the elegance of the prose. ( )

This memoir is by and about the second of the ten wives of Verlan LeBaron, brother of the infamous polygamist Ervil LeBaron and niece of yet another polygamist leader, Rulon C. Allred.

Irene Spencer grew up in a fourth-generation polygamist family - her mother was the second of four wives and Irene was the 13th of 31 children. Her mother escaped polygamy and Irene fell in love with and wanted to marry a "nonbeliever." Pressure from other family members and her own religious beliefs led to her marrying her half-sister's husband Verlan when she was 16 years old.

Everything goes downhill from this marriage, performed secretly on the Mormon temple grounds in Salt Lake City, as today's mainstream Mormons don't practice polygamy. Her half-sister was present, as the previous wives have to agree to the husband's later marriage and one of them is expected to participate in the ceremony! It was July 1953, and later that month, a polygamous compound in Arizona was raided, so Verlan moved his two wives to the LeBaron family settlement in Mexico.

Irene spends most of the next 28 years in abject poverty, moving 25 times mostly in rural Mexico and even Nicaragua, and giving birth to 13 children in 19 years. Meanwhile, her husband goes on to marry eight more women (with Irene "giving" four of them in marriage) and father 58 children in all before his death in an auto wreck in 1981 at age 51 (which both Irene and Verlan apparently foresaw in dreams).

Irene is surprisingly equanimous about the poverty and many of the other hardships she endures, justifying them as part of the suffering she must undergo to be a "goddess" in the afterlife. She is extremely jealous of the time Verlan spends with any of his other wives, however, and obviously sexually frustrated. I had a hard time understanding how she could continue to love a man who apparently thought so little of her. I suspect she'd be married to him to this day if it hadn't been for his early death. The book could have done with some heavy editing to shorten its nearly 400 pages.

Nevertheless, this book provided some insight into how and why women get stuck in these kinds of relationships. Indeed, on her own website, Irene admits that three of her children (I'm hoping all sons and no daughters) are in polygamous relationships today. She and her children lived a life so isolated that one can see why some of the children got caught up in this lifestyle.

Interestingly, one of Irene's "sister-wives," Susan Ray Schmidt, has also written a memoir, called His Favorite Wife (which Irene agrees she was). More about Susan here, more about Irene here, and more about both of them here.

Also posted at Bookin' It. ( )

I picked up this book while wandering around Powell's last week. (For those who don't know, Powell's is the biggest new/used bookstore this side of the Mississippi and is AWESOME!). I've long been fascinated with the topic of Fundamentalist Mormonism and was constantly intrigued with polygamy. This book was written by Irene Spencer who was the second of ten wives of Verlan LeBaron. His first wife was her half sister. Overall, Verlan fathered 58 children.

This book chronicled Spencer's life from a childhood whose mother escaped her polygamist husband to Irene's decision to enter polygamy against the wishes of the majority of her family. She marries Verlan at the age sixteen and shortly after the marriage, goes to Mexico to live with his family in their compound. Throughout the years, she lives in Mexico, Nicaragua, Baja, and San Diego. She gives birth to thirteen children, twelve who survive and adopts one more.

It's obvious that Irene tries to be a good polygamist wife but just cannot handle it. She is constantly jealous of her husband's other wives and it feels that he is always putting her towards the end of of his list of priorities.

At times the book felt a little long but at the same time, I felt that there was so much more that Spencer could have shared, specifically about the LeBaron clan, who seem to be a large FLDS powerhouse. She does have another book coming out that will explore that topic more. ( )

Slow start to a riveting memoir! The author outlines her life from girlhood to adulthood. It is interesting that, even though she is in a plural marriage, that she tolerates the competition and jealousy that this could bring. Nice, too, that she shares her thoughts and feelings at the end of the book on becoming a Christian. She has certainly had a full life! This was an easy read after the first 75 pages or so. ( )

Reading this haunting memoir provided helpful insights into Mormon beliefs. Irene accurately described the reluctance and inablitilty to question fundmentalist beliefs. To an outsider this world seems illogical yet when this is all you have known it makes perfect sense. The ending seemed overly rushed. Irene's struggle carried the story. ( )