Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife (original 2007; edition 2008)

Finished reading last night.
I thought it was a good book but compared to for instance Escape by Caroline Jessop this woman had a great life! At least her husband tried and my Gosh she was a complainer especially compared to the other wives.
Complaining complaining but every time caving in.

Because it interests me the Mormons religion and especially those of the fundamentalists I've read a lot of books. These people the only thing they do is make kids and a lot of them live from the governments and the taxpayers while they despise these taxpayers cause they are lesser people.
They raise there children and brain wash them into thinking they will go to hell if they do not live according to there religion.

The problem with Mormons is that every man can say what he wants and pretends God told him that, and as with islam this is a great religion for men but not for women.
( )

interesting a peek inside what it is really like to be one of many wives and the pressures as well as the joys ( )

I've read several books on the practice of polygamy by Fundamentalist Mormons, but none were as good as this book. It is a very detailed account of the philosophy and lifestyle of these people, the original Mormons. The subjugation of women, not as low as Muslim women, but still below any other group of women in the West, is evident. Not just from their almost non-position in the religion - they are just vessels to produce bodies for waiting souls - but also because they are essentially slave labour. The husbands in these polygamous families detailed in the book are away working arriving home with meagre amounts of money (the bulk of it was donated to missionary and other church work), and expecting the up to 9 wives and 58 children to support themselves and produce spare agricultural produce to sell.

Wives have to give their consent to a husband taking more wives, but if they aren't informed, well.... Husbands play favourites, living with the wife they are in love with, deny sex except for procreation (unless, it is hinted, you are a favourite), and have a fine old time of life with the promised reward of becoming gods on their own planets after death.

Only men can be so elevated and this godhead status is almost guaranteed if he marries a 'quorum' of seven wives and has fifty children (who could support 58 people? This is where the slave labour comes in, endless work for no personal reward). A woman's reward is that is she is very, very good, sweet and obedient then her husband will pull her through 'the veil' of death and ennoble her to be a goddess on his very own planet. If she is a bad woman, not sweet, obedient or uses birth control or tries to frustrate her husband in his duty of marrying many women, then she will burn in hell for all eternity. Nice.

I understand that the rule of polygamy was abandoned when a condition for statehood of Utah was that polygamy be banned although the US courts had long ruled it to be illegal.


I do have difficulty with a religion whose founder was a convicted conman and whose revelations (and those of his high-status co-religionists) benefit men, make use of women and whose beliefs are very hard to sustain 'gods on other planets' in today's world. When those religions then change their own absolutely sacred laws,perhaps the most essential one, because it is expedient to do so, I have a hard time seeing how anyone could actually believe in it and adhere to its principles. I also have a hard time in wondering how present LDS Mormons can accept the watering-down of the religion knowing it was done to appease the government, and side-lining of those who still follow it. This book does nothing to make me more positive and understanding. But then faith never required evidence, and facts that don't fit can always be explained away in any religion or set of beliefs.

That said, I respect people because of their actions and sometimes because of what they say, not because of what they believe - I'm not the thought-police. And I'm aware that my own existentialist philosophy isn't held in any high esteem by those who have other beliefs.

The book is a relevation of what it actually meant to be a polygamist wife. Highly recommended. ( )

The story of a young woman in the 1950's and 1960's that entered into a Polygamist marriage. She shared her determination, her shear will of spirit and the love of her children to get her through the hard times. So also shows that this life is used to control not as a way to get exaltation to heaven. ( )

7/8ths of the book was great. Irene is a good story teller and the stories are interesting. A couple of quibbles:
1. After all the great stories, her "leaving" story was so quick I thought I'd missed a couple of chapters. She just spent all this time on the wife stories and yet the stories of how she made it after leaving are minimal.
2. Since reading the book I've seen pics from her life and the clothes don't look nearly as bare-bones and hand-made as she describes, nor does the place look at squalid as described. Perhaps the pics are from a "richer" time in their lives so this isn't such a big deal, but I find it interesting that the other people who moved to Colonia Lebaron don't describe the living conditions as bad. What gives?
3. Marrying Hector Spencer - in the book she makes it sound like this guy is an outsider, a fresh face... but I've since learned that this guy was part of the mexican group. What other "truths" are stretched.
and finally...
4. Sorry, but the dream revelations are enhanced more than reality. Eg: she talks about the dream that "someone she knew was going to die in a car crash"... but she neglected to mention that there was a "hit" out for her husband nor did she mention that the car cash was deemed suspicious. She made it sound like out of the blue she'd had this incredible premonition... that's a big big big stretch.
However, overall this was a great book and well-written... highly recommend. ( )