Good discussion. Fascinating stories presented but most in the group felt there should have been more information on what to do when one lives next door to a sociopath! ( )

Surprise, the world is full of assholes! Am I the only one who already knew that? But I read this book to try to get a firmer grip on sociopathy, or at least read some interesting case studies and/or personal accounts of/with sociopaths. I knew it would be pop psychology and not a textbook experience, but it still fell short of my expectations. I left the book with that, "Yeah, so?" feeling that happens when someone tells me something rather obvious and somewhat pointless like, "That car has a flat tire." ( )

This book is well-written, in simple language that anyone can understand. (Unlike many books written by psychologists.) Martha Stout uses stories from her own psychology practice and experiences to illustrate the various ways a sociopath operates within the world. I found the information extremely interesting. Stout gives us great insight into human nature. ( )

I picked up this book simply because of everything you see on the news these days. I wanted to read about what would push someone to do some of the things we see. After getting into the book I was really surprised to realize that sociopaths are not all criminals and evil-looking. They look like everyone else and most of the time are not confronted about their actions. It's scary to think that 4% of the population do not have any conscience. This was a great read and I would recommend it to anyone seeking info on this topic ( )

An informative stroll through the contrasting worlds of psychopathy and of conscience. The author gives the Rule of Three for dealings with anyone (1 lie or failure to follow through can be a misunderstanding; 2 can be a warning; 3 is a clue to end the relationship), and a sure way to detect a sociopath: anyone who tries to make you feel pity for them. Since psychopaths are 4% of the population of the western world, this is handy advice. ( )

This is a very good how-to guide to recognizing and dealing with sociopaths. Suitable for the ordinary person, and it takes care to emphasize that most sociopaths are necessarily violent or even criminal, just garden-variety turds. I would recommend it to anyone who’s in a bad relationship with someone who may be a sociopath. ( )

I'm on page 50 of The Sociopath Next Door. Its like my mind goes blank faced with any kind of self-help book. Perhaps, even with my appalling criminal neighbour I'm beyond redemption. I cannot finish this book. Hell, I can hardly start it. Its sitting in my kitchen window so if the appalling neighbour decides to break in again she will see it :-) I'm giving it another go. ( )

Sociopaths are pretty common--4 percent of our population, which translates to 1 in 25 people. Personally, I think this number is higher on the net simply cause it's easier to hide behind words and convince people you're for real than it is in person. Sociopaths don't have a conscience. So rule 1: you simply cannot hurt their feelings--no matter what they try to make you believe, they don't have any. Sure they can cry--they're very good at parroting emotions. Many of them are charming, making them difficult to identify. The author, when asked by patients who not to trust, replies that if someone goes for the pity play, that's a big ol' red flag. Sociopaths play on our sympathy, our conscience, our unwillingness to hurt someone else, all the time thinking we're fools because we can feel. When we pity someone because of whatever "horrible" circumstances they have endured/are currently going through, we tend to let them get away with things. It's a game to them. So you see someone constantly crying "pity me!" and the best bet is that s/he's a sociopath. And remember Rule 2: they can't be fixed--they think the rest of us are the broken ones. ( )

In _The Sociopath Next Door_, Martha Stout provides an in-depth, disturbing examination of the sociopath. Based upon clinical research as well as therapy for individuals affected by sociopaths in their personal lives, the detailed portraits described here are at once chilling and compelling.

Stout uses several extensive case studies to present her argument, in addition to briefer vignettes. Each step along the way is presented in clear prose, not talking down to the reader but neither overwhelming him with technical jargon. Besides simply describing the attributes of the sociopath, the book spends a good deal of time discussing this mental illness, and Stout isn't afraid to take a few slight detours away from the strictly defined topic to investigate ideas, such as nature versus nurture, but always tying it to the larger goal of the book.

I found the book interesting and compelling, as well as informative. Robert Hare's _Without Conscience_ would be a good prelude to this book, as he very studiously describes the qualities of the sociopath (he uses the term "psychopath"), and coming into _The Sociopath Next Door_ with a good handle on the topic increases the usefulness of the latter. Four stars. ( )

This was a huge disappointment. It's not very informative and is mostly a vehicle for Dr. Stout's personal views on everything from sociopaths being undeserving of pity to the endorsement of Richard Dawkins and his theories. The "case studies" are vague at best and there is very little depth to most of her opinions on them. The writer's voice comes through as subtly patronizing. Overall, a waste of time. ( )

My peeps and I were sitting around talking about life's latest challenges, and one of us, ZZ., was distressed about a family problem. Her brother-in-law, Oscar, she said, had cheated most of her siblings and/or their spouses out of large sums of money. Whenever he was around, things of value disappeared.

One time, ZZ, her husband, Oscar and her sister were walking around downtown, shopping and hanging out. At some point, Mr. ZZ noticed that Oscar was wearing a completely different shirt than when they started out.

"Hey Oscar," Mr. ZZ said, "Where'd you get that shirt?" There was disingenuous hemming and some vague hawing, but no real answer. Apparently, Oscar had gone into a store, tried on a shirt, and walked out without paying for it.

Another time, Oscar's six-year-old child was discovered to have stolen the valuable jewelry of several people at a family gathering. Six years old. Six-year-olds do not steal wedding rings and watches and valuable jewelry unless someone is teaching them to do so. When the missing items were discovered in her possession, ZZ was disturbed when there were no consequences, no conversations, no apologies forthcoming. Her suspicion was that her sibling was headed in that direction with their child, but was shut down by her husband.

This guy has no conscience, and he even has no qualms about using his own child to get what he wants. It's creepy; it gives me the chills; and Martha Stout claims in The Sociopath Next Door that one out of every 25 people you meet is a sociopath like Oscar. The defining characteristic of a sociopath is that he has no conscience: he can do whatever he wants without feeling remorse.

The Sociopath Next Door is an interesting, well-documented look at sociopathology and the history of the human conscience. It's somewhat repetitious, which got annoying to me--Stout frequently references the 1/25 ratio, or the 4 percent rate of occurrence of sociopathology.

But other than that minor tic, the book held my interest, and I appreciated the balance the author struck between academic scholarship and popular or layman's language. I was intrigued by the discussion of the origin of conscience and the science of sociopathology: where does conscience come from? Why is it more influential in some people, and less so in others? Why does it even fluctuate in influence even within ourselves?

And of course, the ubiquitious sociological question, is sociopathology more influenced by nature (i.e., genetics), or by nurture? The research seems to indicate that heredity and environment share responsibility almost equally. The absence of conscience has not so far been linked to early abuse; and in fact, Stout suggests, "there is some evidence that sociopaths are influenced less by their early experience than are nonsociopaths.

Read the rest of my review here: http://greenroomthoughts.blogspot.com... ( )

These days, with the abundance of books, movies, and television programs available on demand for instant entertainment, our knowledge tends to be informed by popular culture rather. Because of this,our intake of the dramatic simplification of most topics is outweighed drastically by factual representation.

With this in mind, it is no wonder that most of us envision dangerous people as wild-eyed lunatics noticeable a mile way, disheveled madmen that are encountered far and few between.

As Martha Stout demonstrates in The Sociopath Next Door, there are people capable of unimaginable atrocities all around us, and not only do they appear like everyone else, but they might even be less conspicuous than one would hope.

If Good and Evil are opposites of the same coin, and Good people are those who care and feel for others, then it stands to reason that evil exists as people lacking the ability to care or love. These people exist, cold and calculating sociopaths unfettered by the restrictions of guilt or conscious, and they do so in alarming numbers reaching epidemic proportions. 4% of the US population are afflicted with Sociopathic Personalities, far greater than those afflicted with cancer. Meaning one out of every twenty-five people you meet feel no remorse or regret, and are capable of anything.

Martha Stout's book strikes an elegant balance between clinical facts and anecdotal examples, making this book an easy read that manages not to come off as either a fluffy fear-mongering diatribe or a stuffy jargon-laden medical tome. The examples created from personal case studies perfectly illustrate the points of each chapter, but don't detract from the factual or philosophical topics discussed.

Despite chapters warning of the realities of the sociopaths among us, such as their alarming ability to blend in and even charm us into their confidence, her tone never reaches an alarmist level. This is a book that informs and prepares, with instilling false hope or blind panic in its audience. Also, while this topic is heavy with emotion, Stout never descends into supermarket tabloid prose. Apart from a slight detour into 9/11, which almost has no bearing on the topic at hand, the examination of the origins and ramifications of the human conscious remain informative and exploratory without becoming preachy. Especially interesting is the chapter that delves into the nature vs. nurture debate, in which she examines the genetic, environmental, and cultural influences that can help create or subdue a growing child's sociopathic tendencies.

If you have ever witnessed someone behaving extraordinarily ruthlessly or cruelly, and have wondered how someone could even bring themselves to act in such a manner, this book will go a long way towards satisfying your curiosity. ( )

People who have no empathy or affectionate feelings for humans or animals are considered sociopaths & it is estimated 4% of the population are considered such.
In Martha Stout's book "The Sociopath Next Door", a sociopath is defined as someone who displays at least three of seven distinguishing characteristics, such as deceitfulness, impulsivity and a lack of remorse. Such people often have a superficial charm, which they exercise ruthlessly in order to get what they want. Stout argues that the development of sociopathy is due half to genetics and half to nongenetic influences that have not been clearly identified."
This book is now being considered recommended reading to employers so that they are able to recognize these traits in their associates. ( )

Fascinating and frightening, this book dredged up a lot of the people have known and some that I still associate with. With the information in this book, much of it presented as anecdotes and stories about people and situations, I’ve made some armchair diagnoses and decided that one of the people I work with is a sociopath. I think I even dated one. The funny thing is that while not knowing their clinical illnesses, I was able to elude (and confront) the second one I met, but fell prey to the first. Those intervening years must have done something to hone my ability to sniff out bullshit and to grow spine enough to call them on it. I guess that first one was a training sociopath for me.

I liked the style of the writing; clinical but not dry and very anecdotal. Some of the people described are or were her patients, others are from less direct sources, but all of the vignettes were fascinating and helped build the picture of each kind of sociopath quite effectively. Much more effectively than a list of traits and the forms those traits might take. Even more effective was the drawing of emotion from the reader. By having this inside/outside view of an operating sociopath, we can clearly see how the rest of us are manipulated, used and severely marginalized by sociopaths.

Having been on the receiving end of this at least once, it made me feel small and stupid, but yet not alone. Later when I confronted my second known (to me anyway) sociopath, I was much better at dealing with her than the first one. I still didn’t know what she was, but I knew very well what she was trying to do and I watched her use and abuse others for years (some people really are blind to a sociopath’s methods). I work with her still and she’s still the same. Luckily, I can warn others of her now and by relating certain events of the last 14 years, my hearers put stock in my tales and stay safely away. Another bit of luck is that her outward rude and anti-social behavior is making its own reputation and not exactly making fans.

At its heart, this book talks about conscience and the role it plays in our lives. How despite the surface appearance of selflessness and common-good as running counter to self-interest, conscience is actually an evolutionary adaptation to select for success. Considering that most sociopaths end their lives (most shorter than the rest of us) violently and/or alone, I think I would always vote for having a conscience. It is really the glue that holds society together. The lack of it forces people to cover themselves in the outward appearance of normality. They have friends, spouses and children, but in a sociopath’s eyes these people are only commodities that serve them. When they outlive their usefulness, the sociopath discards them without a second thought.

Even for me, a borderline misanthrope, it’s chilling to think of how some people are wired to only think of themselves and what they can gain. When I first started listening to this one, I wondered if I had a touch of sociopathy. My ability to not care about certain things or not be affected by others is great. However, I don’t view people as objects to manipulate for my own benefit. I wouldn’t and haven’t gone out of my way to destroy someone simply because I could. Beyond the occasional dark fantasy brought on by a horrible deed done to me, I’ve never wanted to ruin someone’s life. Sociopaths do it all the time.

At least some of them do. Another display of symptoms might be the average, unemployed loser who freeloads from friends and relatives until he’s kicked out. These are the men (or women, but usually men) who you always are shocked to find out that she’s with him. It’s passive-aggressive sociopathy. They fake being depressed to gain pity and an excuse for not working. They coast along with as little effort as possible. By playing on the conscience of others, they live out their perfect world of no responsibility and no duty. I can see how it would be difficult to tell the sociopath from the schizophrenic under these circumstances.

The clinical symptoms of sociopathy are wide and deep and I learned that the term is pretty much interchangeable with psycopathy. Both define people with lack of conscience. This writer did not use them interchangeably, but did say that a percentage of the sociopath population is violent, just as a segment of non-sociopathic society is violent. Psychotic I think is different though – online sources say that these people also suffer from delusions and hallucinations borne of mental illness. Sociopaths do not.

The advice the writer gives is to recognize and remove these people from our lives. To distance ourselves as much as possible from their influence or control. To spot them early in a romance, a job, a project or a family. She encourages people to go against the flow if someone (be it a community leader or just a co-worker) appears to be acting contrary to your conscience. Good advice, but oh so hard to do. We have to go against our conditioning to be conciliatory or polite. We have to stand out from the crowd and risk being unpopular or shunned. But sometimes, we can be vindicated when the predator is unmasked and the prey set free. ( )

http://writingaspirations.blogspot.co... ( )

http://rivkat.livejournal.com/127510.... ( )

I swear, she must have met an ex of mine. The book doesn't go into 'scare everyone' mode and offers the good advice that sometimes being polite and not making waves is NOT the right thing to do. ( )

Martha Stout, PhD., does a fine job of preparing us, the laity, to identify and deal with the sociopaths amongst us. They are five per cent of the population! You will be hurt by these human meat grinders unless you understand how to recognize them and how to deal with them. Full of many vignettes of the type. Read and learn. We've all known people like these. There are plenty of them scattered like weeds throughout history - Idi Amin, Hitler, General Tojo ... And maybe your neighbor next door. Be warned, this is scary stuff. ( )