Amazing.....stories like this make you appreciate one's own life a little more. I appreciated that we got to hear both twins "voices" throughout the book. I was left feeling frustrated about the circumstances of their separation. Probably a good read for twins, interesting take on nature vs nurture.

July 2009 selection- We were divided on this book. Many of us were dismayed to read about mulitples who are separated and how affected these twins were by the realization and the effect that realization had on them. Some of us were intrigued by the search and could not put the book down. The story of these twins, reunited in adulthood and their desire to learn why they were separated and to learn more about their genetic family draws you in and makes you feel the urgency they felt in learning more about the missing pieces of their life.
Pros: Very interesting subject and individual stories
Cons: Subject might be depressing for some ( )

A unique memoir, almost a "split screen" effect to an unusual and compelling story.

The book is about the emotions and adjustments made by a pair of identical twins adopted separately when they are reunited. Ultimately, we learn that nature is responsible for the strangest things - gestures and field of career among them - but that identical twins are completely different in personality and that they themselves seek to find similarities even when they deny it.I was good friends with an identical twin at one time. I didn't know she was a twin and it did cause some friction when the girl I went to lunch with Monday to Friday would do no more than nod her head to me at the weekend. My friend had pinched her twin's boyfriend, had a baby and married him. They separated within months and he went to back to live with the twin who was his original girlfriend. The twin got pregnant and both girls gave birth within three months of each other. The father went back to his wife. The twins saw each other only when they were dropping off or picking up their children from their mother who babysat them during working hours but were otherwise scarcely on speaking terms (as you might imagine).Having the same father, the twins are half-sisters, having sisters for mothers, they are first cousins, but since the mothers DNA was 100% alike they are also, genetically, full sisters. The irony is that the little girls look almost exactly alike and one wonders if they are doomed to repeat their mothers' awful rivalry.The twins in the book, who are both Goodreads authors, think they are more alike than they actually are. As with two artists fulfilling the same commission with the same clay, the resulting statue will show the different vision of each. We are too complex for it to be otherwise. ( )

Elyse Shein and Paula Bernstein had always known they were adopted, but it was not until they were in their mid-30s that they knew they were twins. This engrossing book chronicles their discovery of each other and their quest to learn more about the circumstances of their adoption and the identity of their birth mother.

The sisters’ differences, more than their similarities, were what made this book particularly interesting to me. Their similarities, such as the fact that they both studied film, are merely uncanny, the kind of thing you alway hear about in stories of reunited twins. But it is their sometimes dramatic differences in attitude give their story extra layers, speaking not just to their different backgrounds, but also to how all people react to their circumstances. Schein feels robbed of an important relationship and immediately attaches to her new-found twin, but Bernstein is less certain of how she feels about their situation and what she wants now.

Had this been written by one sister, it would have felt unbalanced, and an outsider might have been too quick to impose his or own opinions on the story, looking for patterns that may or may not be significant. With each sister sharing her own thoughts and interpretations, we get both balance and immediacy, which make this an engaging read.

See my complete review at my blog. ( )

Interesting....fascinating really. A bit whiny at times....for all of their claims to be so similar...I liked one sister alot more than the other! ( )

These identical twins did not find each other until age 35. The book alternates chapters by each twin, telling their separate thoughts on learning about their twin and slowly trying to form a relationship. Most interesting. ( )

Really interesting.
Elise and Paula have fullfilling lives, and one day they discover they are sisters, adopted seperatly with the desire to be studied as part of a twin study on nature vs. nuture.
What I found so captivating about this book was how one twin really didn't welcome the intrusion of the other into her life.
Also amazing how they did discover their birth mother, and how sad her life was.
Look forward to reading more about their growing relationship. ( )

Although the writing's not very good, what a crazy story this book tells! The authors are identical twins who've been separated at birth and adopted by separate families. At age 35, the twins meet for the first time and learn about their extraordinary pasts. They learn why they were separated in the first place and struggle to define their own identities in their new role as "twin" and "sister."
~Mel

An engrossing story written in alternating sections by identical twins who were separated by an adoption agency as part of a psychological experiment. They found each other in their mid-thirties, and proceeded to track down the people responsible as well as their uncle. Interspersed with twin research, the book is a very interesting glimpse of the interaction of nature and nurture. ( )

Like many people, I find twins fascinating. I always wished that I had a twin that I didn't know about, that I would find someday. The authors of this book made just such a discovery, although they weren't quite as happy about it.

I found the discussions about the evolving relationship between the unknown sisters very interesting. A twin relationship is a very close relationship, and it would be very difficult to have someone so familiar that is actually a stranger. It was difficult to figure out how close to be to this stranger, for both women. I thought that the alternating chapters between the authors was a very effective way to explore the way they built their relationship.

Overall, though, it seemed like the book could have used a stronger narrative structure. I understand that sometimes you just can't know everything about your past, no matter how much you want to, but to a certain extent the book just kind of stopped more than it ended. Still, I thought both women were good writers who were honestly exploring a very difficult and private subject that must have been difficult to share. Despite the not-so-strong ending, I enjoyed this book, and would recommend it to others. ( )

I was interested to read this book because I find twins interested. As an adult, I once mistook my uncle for his identical twin -- my father. Although identical in appearance, they were different in subtle ways -- as are other identicals that I know well. I found the "I'm like that too!" comments initially interesting, but after awhile, they became repetitive and trivial. Really -- how many people who are not my twin write with the same sort of pen I use? And, despite their similar bouts with depression, I found their writing about the wrong done to them by the adoption agency bordering on whining. I cannot argue the separating twins or conducting observational experiments on them was not cruel -- it was. But, this book begins to fail in conveying that by the repetiveness to it. Written as an interleafed diary by each twin, the book is at first interesting, but their voices are too similar to keep track as to whom is writing the section. While this is fascinating and underscores the similarities in personalities between the sisters, as a narrative technique it comes up a little short. Tight editing would have reduced this book by 100 pages and made it more readable and captivating without loosing both the mystique of the twins and the dual-edged sword of bitterness and happiness with finding each other in midlife. Still, if one is interested in the topic of adoption and twins, I would recommend this book. ( )

I was fascinated by this book, as a human being and as a Librarian. Do any of us do the best we can with the DNA we are given? Imagine meeting someone who started life with the same tabula rasa and studying your similarities and differences.I enjoyed the alternating narrative that looked at the same events through different pairs of eyes sharing the same DNA.

As a Librarian, the book reminded me of why we keep, organize and disseminate so much information. Who can really know what pieces of paper may change someone's life? Yet again, people discover profound truths in the New York Public Library and in academic archives.

Overall, this is an engaging book. ( )

Perhaps because i personally connected with this work i did not find the same kind of problems with narration and writing that other readers did. I liked the alternating diary format and felt closer to the material than i would have with a third person narration.
http://talesofarampaginglibrarian.blo... ( )

I looked forward to this book as it I thought it would be an interesting subject. But I was somewhat dissapointed,I couldn't figure out who's point of view was which and who was speaking most of the time. It was very repetitive and I found it annoying to be quite frank. It got more interesting at the end when they actually meet their realtives. However, it could have been better written, as it was all over the place. The writing was shaky and all over the place. Though it did keep me enaged for the most part. ( )

Identical Strangers is the story of Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein. Both women knew they were adopted. Elyse, in her mid-thirties, started looking for her biological mother. What she found instead was that she was an identical twin. Paula never had any inclination to find her birth mother, but received a call one day informing her that she was an identical twin. The story, told in alternating points of view by the two women, is what happened once these women meet and attempt to try and find out why they were separated and adopted by different families.

I so looked forward to this book as it is such a fascinating subject. Who hasn't dreamt of finding they have a long-lost twin? But I was somewhat dissapointed in Identical Strangers. I think it is a story that could have been told better by a third person. There was too much repetition. For instance, I read many times how much Paula was not sure she wanted to meet her twin, how afraid she was that she would become responsible for her twin. There were many references to other separated twins which I found interesting, such as, once reunited and tested, many identical twins have IQs within one point of each other. Toward the end of the book, when they meet with an actual blood relative, I did find the book much more interesting. Overall, though, I found it disappointing. ( )

Identical Strangers was a reasonably decent book - compelling and engaging while I read it, but with a variety of problems and issues once I finished it and stepped back a bit. The overall plot is quite compelling, because after all, identical twins - particularly those separated at birth - have always held a special place in our minds. However, I thought that it could have been better written and better put together. I felt that the details of the studies were interesting, but too scattered and sometimes too forced into the narrative to work as well as they might have done. The writing was somewhat uneven, and I think that as far as a memoir goes it was a little too guarded and repetitive to work. I think this could have been a much better book if it was written 10 years from now, with more distance from the initial events. Perhaps that would have allowed for more introspection and a greater cohesion to the whole story. Still though, it was an enjoyable read, and I would recommend it to someone with an interest in twins. ( )

At age 35, one of these identical twins learns for the first time that she has a twin sister. Adopted out as an infant, she has never been very interested in finding out about her birth mother or biological family, but once she knows she has a twin sister out there, things change and she sets out to find her. And find her she does! The twins find out that they started out as part of an identical twin study on nature vs. nurture that was sanctioned by the adoption agency their parents dealt with. And neither set of parents were told that the girl they adopted was a twin! Heart-wrenching at times, full of love and hope at others, the book goes back and forth between the points of view of each of the sisters as they travel along their journey of getting to know a sister neither knew she had. Although the writing itself is sometimes amateurish, this is a compelling story, worth reading whether you have an interest in adoption, twins or none of the above. I do hope the full version has some photos in it; I feel that this would greatly enhance the story. ( )

http://mermaids.wordpress.com/2007/08... ( )

Identical Strangers
A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited
By Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein

"Once you find someone, you can't unfind her." So states Paula, who with her
twin Elyse, recreates a remarkable journey in this book that recounts the
search for each other, the story of their separation and finally their search for
their birth mother.

Told in a narrative that alternates between each twin's story, a picture
emerges of each. Despite being identical twins, they are different, but driven by
similar goals and desires.

Interspersed within the narrative story are tidbits about twin research,
information about twins from other books and articles, and interviews with
separated and non-separated twins. These are well woven into the story. (I wish
there was a bibliography at the end.)

In some respects the book is almost like a "who-dun-it"- one twin compares
herself to Nancy Drew - and reads almost like a novel; you are compelled to
finish so you can discover the ending.

I must admit that I have been fascinated by twins since I was a child; maybe
we all are, at least a little bit, but I have an even more special interest in
this topic. I have been in the field of child welfare for over 30 years in
New York State (where this story takes place) and have had a particular
involvement in creating the policy of keeping siblings together in foster care and
adoption. The new information I learned about the Louise Wise adoption agency
and what that agency did more than 35 years ago was very intriguing to me.
Thankfully, the separation of siblings is no longer countenanced today. (See the
following links to New York State policy on this subject.)

07-OCFS-INF-04 June 8, 2007 Keeping Siblings Connected: A White Paper
on Siblings in Foster Care and Adoptive Placements in New York State

http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/poli...
04%20Keeping%20Siblings%20Connected%20-%20A%20White%20Paper%20on%20Siblings%20
in%20Foster%20Care%20and%20Adoptive%20Placements%20in%20New%20York%20State.pdf

Keeping Siblings Connected: A White Paper on Siblings in Foster Care
and Adoptive Placements in New York State

http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/repo...

92-ADM-24 June 8, 1992 Foster Care, Adoption: Requirements for Sibling
Placement, Visitation and Communication

http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/poli...
04%20Attachment%20-%2092-ADM-24%20Foster%20Care%20Adoption%20Requirements%20fo
r%20Siblings%20Placement%20Visitation%20and%20Communication.pdf ( )

It is wonderful that these two found each other. It hit a lot on the nature vs nurture argument which I thought was interesting. ( )

Although the heritability of mental illness is a known fact, scientific study of what triggers the onset of mental illness among relatives is often compounded by familial structure: does nature alone affect the development of mental illness, or does the familial environment nurture a latent predisposition to development? Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein are identical twins that reunite 35 years after they were separated via infant adoption. While justification for their separation within the adoption agency is cast as an alleviation of undue burden on adoptive parents, in actuality their separation was an attempt to shed light upon the nature versus nurture question surrounding the heritability of mental illness, as well as to provide an opportunity to study the nature versus nurture underpinnings of twins. "Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited" is the tale of their discovery of each other’s existence and their journey toward sisterhood and friendship while solving the mystery of their birth mother’s identity and the reason for their separation.

Told from Schein’s and Bernstein’s alternating view points, the book reads less as a fused narrative and more as though the authors are telling their story conversationally, at times clarifying one another’s points, sharing their individual recollections of shared experiences, reiterating tidbits shared by the other to emphasize importance. Despite the collective sharing of their story, the authors’ individuality is marked first by the differences in their life stations—single expatriate versus married suburban mother—at the time of their reunion, then underscored by their respective reactions in the discovery of one another, and later strengthened by the interweaving of their past and present life stories. Although their similarities are emphasized, so too are their distinctions, an element that is refreshingly honest for a tale of identical twins, whose similarities can be overemphasized.

Beyond merely a record of their reunion and quest to learn the truth behind their independent adoptions, this book is an exploration of the mysteries of twins and the emotional toll of mental illness. Frequent references are made to well-known twin studies, particularly the Minnesota Study of Twins Reared Apart, and there is a good description of the biological factors that precipitate twins. Although the authors did not succumb to the schizophrenia their mother battled, both have been diagnosed with depression, and their individual approaches to dealing with it demonstrate both the common and individually distinct elements of depression. As the true reason for the authors’ separation is revealed, and the authors identify and locate their biological mother’s family, questions are raised about the stigma of mental illness and society’s treatment of those who suffer from its manifestations.

Despite the potential for the authors’ story to create a compelling read, "Identical Strangers" unfortunately falls a bit below the mark. The lack of notes for the studies and articles referenced throughout the book are disappointing, especially for readers looking to reference this book in scholarship or use it as a springboard into further study of twins or mental illness. The interjection of the authors’ pre-reunion stories are inconsistent: at times they are fluid, easily flowing with the events of the present; other times they are out of place, seeming as though the authors simply needed somewhere to share part of their life stories, regardless of relevance. Finally, the use of similar or identical phrases and words begs the question of whether such instances are evidence of crafted editing, simultaneous writing and manuscript sharing, or something more…an example of the mysterious similarities of identical twins, perhaps? Given that the book is structured to clearly indicate the authors’ distinctive parts, this subtle similarity, whether intentional or coincidental, is slightly off-putting and at times creates confusion for the reader in knowing which author is narrating.

Bottom line: good but not gripping. ( )

"Identical Strangers" reads like interleaved entries from a couple of diaries. At age 33 one of the authors is looking for her birth mother and is stunned to discover she has a twin. This book is about their discovery of each other and how it came about they were both adapted by different families. They share with us facts about identical twins they must have discovered during their search. For a real life story of two ordinary people it has quite a bit of mystery and potential villain(s)! Their writing style is informal, more like a magazine article, but that makes it an easy read. After about 10 days I find it has not left much of an impression in my mind but it was an enjoyable read at the time! ( )