Aleah Stallings
Reading/Lit 5th
Book Review #1
“I Kissed Dating Goodbye”
Joshua Harris

“I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” is a wonderful book for young adults to read. The author, Joshua Harris was 21-years old when he wrote his story of giving up the dating game in order to focus on serving God. Harris expresses in the context of the book that the hope behind it was that other singles would be helped by some of the lessons he was learning.

Most people have an opinion about the book that “avoids dating.” I'd encourage you not to assume you know what it says without having read it. Personally, as a reader, I began to recognize that “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” contains a core message of the book which in fact is not about "dating," but living your life for God.

The book focuses on Harris' false belief with the profane dating scene, and offers ideas for improvement, alternative dating/courting practices, and a view that singleness need not be a burden. It’s characterized by what Harris describes as "selfishness." The concept of "courting" is introduced by Harris as an alternative to regular profane dating. But, what are some solutions to regular dating as well as the foundations on which he bases his reasoning?

“I Kissed Dating Goodbye” also emphasizes Harris belief that dating has become too inwardly focused. He feels that people date as a way to find "their" mate. To find the special someone according to their own principles, rules, and desires. Yet, he argues, people put up a false image in an attempt to appear to be what the other person wants, and this affects the "getting to know you" part of dating. He feels that it is more appropriate and more healthy in the long run to participate in "group dates" in order to truly understand the way a particular person interacts with others, since in a group setting in which some people know the person that person is less likely to be able to maintain a false impression for the time of the date. I strongly agree to Harris’ proposal. We must avoid putting ourselves in predicaments that we may regret later on. Rushing into things, as Harris says affects getting to know the person aspect of dating, missing the blessing and accuracy in the individual. Harris proposes a system of courtship that involves the parents of each individual to a larger degree opposed to being uninvolved.

Harris also confronts the Christian world about our attitudes about dating. It's not about dating or finding that special someone, but about the way we've approached both. It's not "dating evil, courtship good," but how we should please God in every one of our relationships. Everyone's situation is different, so it doesn't apply to everyone, however we should use it to examine ourselves and motives.

This book is absolutely amazing and sometimes, it just shocked me. It challenged me to fully understand every characteristic Harris mentions, but as he said in the beginning of the book, reading this book is like a “commitment” or a “relationship” with the book. Its deserves undivided attention to understand it fully. The book displays ways to prevent unnecessary pain and confusion in relationships. It’s an amazing book. I recommend it to all. Parents with children in the “young adult” stages and single individuals can learn great lessons about the romantic game field from this book. ( )

This is the first book of Josh's that I'd ever read. He has a unique approach to Christian relationships, that certain folks have (unfortunately) chosen to follow with a cult-like devotion.

As for me, I think IKDG's principles are sound. That's why I appreciate it. Love is not a game, but a gift from God. The way some people--Christians and non--approach dating is really absurd.

And by "absurd", I mean ridiculously superficial. ( )

Title:
I Kissed Dating Goodbye
Author:
Harris, Joshua
Publisher:
Multnomah
Format:
Paperback
BCID:
Library
No. of pages:
235
First sentence:
Reading a book is a lot like a dating relationship.

I bought this book a number of years ago because I was looking for a different way to run my, very disastrous, love life. I passed it on to the Church library without reading it but saw it on the shelf a few weeks ago and decided to pick it up again as I've been reading other books on similar themes recently.

I think Harris has a fairly unique take on the relationships scene because he's a single young man. Most books on the subject seem to be written by one half or other of a married couple. I'm torn between finding Harris' account inspiring or irritating. Presumably this is because I measure up so poorly to the ideals he had set.

Harris begins by looking at the ways in which our culture tells us to run our love lives and then outlines his alternative proposal - courtship (although he doesn't use that name). He looks thoroughly at the obstacles to be overcome by the single person and at ways of developing a relationship when you are ready for marriage. I feel like I'll never be ready as I measure myself against Harris' ideals!

I would recommend this book to other singles or the parents of young people about to enter the romantic field and I will read more from the author. It will be interesting to watch him develop as an author and a Christian. I wonder how high those ideals will be in a few years? ( )

This book was okay. Some of the ideas in it I didn't agree with and some parts he came on to harsh...but otherwise I really liked the book. :) ( )

Tired of the game? Kiss dating goodbye. Dating. Isn’t there a better way? I kissed Dating Goodbye suggests there is. Reorder your romantic life in the light of God’s Word and find more fulfillment than a date could ever give—a life of sincere love, true purity a purposeful singleness. ( )