Children: the challenge

Children the Challenge offers excellent advice and proven strategies for parents who want to build love and trust in their families, helping them to raise happier, healthier, and better behaved children.

The warm and reassuring reference helps you to understand your children's actions better, giving you the guidance you need to discipline lovingly and effectively.
* Winning your children's cooperation and consideration
* Putting a step to senseless accidents and carelessness
* Dealing with jealousy and fighting
* "Downgrading" bad habits
* Overcoming your own fears

The first half of this book made tons of sense. I really feel it has valuable things to say about how we should react impartially to a child's behavior, and try to understand why a child might react the way that he or she does, rather than getting involved in a power struggle. On the other hand, I felt that he was sometimes a little off-base in the end chapters. The book was written, if you are familiar with Meyers-Briggs typology at all, from a very 'thinking' rather than 'feeling' perspective. Perhaps I just don't understand my own unconscious well enough, but I feel that ignoring or grossly downplaying a child's hurt or fear, far from making him self-reliant, will only cause him to see YOU as uncaring. I know I would feel that someone was uncaring who allowed my sibling to give me a bloody nose, or my father to hit me, telling me that it was not their place to step in. Sure, you might become more 'self-reliant' in the face of that treatment, being left to fend for yourself, but at what emotional cost? Isn't there a middle road, showing concern for a child's well being while fostering independence? An interesting perspective, but I could never bring myself to follow the whole program, nor would I really want to. ( )

I read this book when I was 8 years old and my sister was born. I remember enjoying all the examples at the end. I haven't read it since then but I plan to read it again.

Although this is an older parenting manual, the advice feels unique and fresh (though the language is somewhat dated in the 1964 edition I read. Lots of "Mothers" and "homemakers"). The crux of the book is understanding the evolving constellation of family relationships and encouraging each child with acknowledgment of their capabilities and unique qualities. Feels sound and sensible and should help parents avoid playing one child off the other or being played by the child. (AG, 12/23/09) ( )

Many are the times I turned to this book while our children were young. It's been around for a while but still has value for those who want to raise children without shaming, blaming, etc. It fits the punishment to the crime, so to speak. It helped me put the various behaviors of our children in perspective so that the real problems being demonstrated could be addressed. ( )