Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics

This book was a real "aha" moment for me and, I suspect, many others who picked it up. Sasha Cagen expands on the essay she wrote for UTNE Reader waaay back in the early 2000's ("early aughts"?) about this concept of the "quirkyalone"--people who are happier being single than dating merely for the sake of dating. Despite the cutesy-pie moniker, I immediately "got" the idea of the quirkyalone...and that I am one myself. I am single more often than not. I am not against dating, being set-up, seeking out dates, romance or marriage...however, I won't stay in a relationship that's not working out and I won't date MERELY for the sake of companionship/to fit into social norms. Plus, I like my own space, yet I am sociable. These are pretty much the exact characteristics of a so-called quirkyalone, according to Cagen. So no wonder finding this book of the $2 "last chance" cart at my local Books-a-Million was a minor epiphany for me.

Cagen's Quirkyalone is not perfect. She spends a little too much time explaining herself and defending her idea (which, let's be fair, she came up with a name for but did not invent). I understand her need to explain and defend quirkyalones, since it often feels like we (happy singles) must constantly prove that we are not constantly crying into vodka and ice cream milkshakes, a la Bridget Jones. Yet at the same time, why give doubters a second thought? We don't have to answer to them. But the impulse to prove that we are not pathetic--indeed, quite the opposite--lives on, even in our own little "manifesto".

Cagen is also a tad too precious, and "quirkyalone" comes off as a bit...twee. Someone might assume all quirkyalones live in Seattle, Portland, and New York, make crafts for Etsy, and shop exclusively at thrift stores. Not that there's anything wrong with any of that, but we're not ALL like that.

Still, I'm happy that this book and this idea exist. It's a good start and I hope Cagen will write more in the future. Her writing style is similar to another writer I admire, Jessica Valenti: straightforward and friendly. Good reading for undergraduates and non-academics who are just starting to explore ideas like feminism and progressive politics. Here's hoping more people find this book and their own "aha" moments. ( )

This was a comforting book to read, and I do tend to classify as a "Quirkyalone", with a few exceptions to the author's definition as such. First of all, I don't consider myself to be an "Uncompromising Romantic" as it states in the title, not at all. And I don't need to be given suggestions as to what to do with my time that's not being spent having babies or searching for wedding gowns or going to PTA meetings or even couples therapy.

But still, it's nice to know that there's a world of singles out there that are not desperate to settle down *immediately*, and don't need to be in a relationship to feel defined.

However, I must say that I felt that the ultimate message of the book was, indeed, "just be patient and *one day* it *will* happen for you." *That* message I can get from my mother, thanks. What I needed to hear was "Just keep on keepin' on, and do your thing, girl."

But maybe I'm just sensitive... ( )

http://talesofarampaginglibrarian.blogspot.com/2006/06/proud-to-be-quirkyalone.h... ( )

http://allthingsjennifer.blogspot.com/2006/01/quirkyalone.html ( )

An light and easy read, good for any single person who's happy with that status in life and who doesn't believe that a romantic relationship is the end-all-be-all of existence. You'll not get any life-changing information from it, but it's entertaining enough to quickly flip through the entire thing in one sitting. ( )