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The Friend Who Got Away: Twenty Women's True…
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The Friend Who Got Away: Twenty Women's True Life Tales of Friendships… (2005)

by Jenny Offill (Editor), Elissa Schappell (Editor)

Other authors: Heather Abel (Contributor), Diana Abu-Jaber (Contributor), Dorothy Allison (Contributor), Nuar Alsadir (Contributor), Kate Bernheimer (Contributor)16 more, Emily Chenoweth (Contributor), Jennifer Gilmore (Contributor), Beverly Gologorsky (Contributor), Vivian Gornick (Contributor), Ann Hood (Contributor), Nicole Keeter (Contributor), Patricia Marx (Contributor), Lydia Millet (Contributor), Mary Morris (Contributor), Jenny Offill (Contributor), Francine Prose (Introduction), Katie Roiphe (Contributor), Elissa Schappell (Contributor), Helen Schulman (Contributor), Elizabeth Strout (Contributor), Emily White (Contributor)

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Recently added byShaughnessy, private library, Sarahthe1001, writerbeverly, omargosh, rh_widget, jovemako, NTE, Bcfarris
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    Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend by Irene S. Levine (schatzi)
    schatzi: "The Friend Who Got Away" has twenty stories of female friendship that ended; "Best Friends Forever" offers such stories too, as well as exploring why the friendship ended and how to move on afterward
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» See also 2 mentions

Showing 1-5 of 8 (next | show all)
Wrenching stories of failed friendships. This book brought back some unpleasant memories for me, as well as some that have become bittersweet with time. There are several famous writers sprinkled throughout, including Dorothy Allison and Diana Abu Jaber. Two essays are about the same friendship, told from each woman's side. Uncomfortable and compelling at the same time. ( )
  satyridae | Apr 5, 2013 |
From The Book Wheel:

The Friend Who Got Away: Twenty Women’s True Life Tales of Friendships that Blew Up, Burned Out or Faded Away by Jenny Offill and Elissa Schappell (author of Blueprints for Building Better Girls, which is on my Kindle) is a book of essays written by women who lost a female friendship. Some were by choice, others by mistake, and a few for no reason at all. As a woman who is entering her 30′s, I have begun to experience first hand the effects of losing a longtime female friendship for no other reason other than drifting away, and I have ended some by choice.

What I loved about this book is that it’s honest. The introduction discusses how it’s okay to breakup with lovers, but that female friendship rarely end with a clean break. This is because women hold each other to higher standards, and to commit an act of betrayal against a female friend is much worse than having done so in a romantic relationship (and women also grant other women more leeway in their behaviors).

While all of the essays were great, I was most intrigued by the back-to-back essays written by two women who had lost their friendship years before. It was fascinating to see two different people describe their perception of the friendship and its dissolution, demonstrating that each person perceives and feels things different.

This is a great book for any woman who has ever lost a friend to time, betrayal, or simply to the circumstances of life. It was nice to realize that I am not alone and that it’s okay not to feel guilty about the ending of a friendship. It’s more important for women to celebrate the time they had together than to focus on the drifting apart. ( )
  thebookwheel | Mar 30, 2013 |
This book is exactly what it says it is: stories of women's friendships that have ended (although, really, some of the essays were about childhood friendships, which don't seem to have the same levels of depth as adult women's friendships). There is practically no analysis or in-depth studies of commonalities or causes; instead, the story is just laid out there, the end.

A few of the stories resonated with me. I mean, haven't we all lost a close friend, whether to death, distance, jealousy, etc? But if you're reeling from a close friendship that just ended, this isn't the book for you (I recommend "Best Friends Forever," written by the author of the Friendship Blog, which helped me immensely). But most of the stories didn't. I can't say that I regret reading this book, but it is a book that I will forget quickly. ( )
  schatzi | Sep 23, 2012 |
Although I didn't love all the stories in this book of essays, there were a few that really spoke to me. That reminded me of my own 'friends who got away' ... that made me sad, frustrated and nostalgic all at once! Friendships are complicated and I think almost everyone has experienced letting go of a friendship or being let go of ... it's pretty universal. As a result, it was really quite interesting to read about the experiences of other women ... their feelings, their motivations, as well as their justifications. Overall, I'm glad that I read this collection of essays but it wasn't a personal favorite. ( )
  amymelniczenko | May 3, 2010 |
Although I didn't love all the stories in this book of essays, there were a few that really spoke to me. That reminded me of my own 'friends who got away' ... that made me sad, frustrated and nostalgic all at once! Friendships are complicated and I think almost everyone has experienced letting go of a friendship or being let go of ... it's pretty universal. As a result, it was really quite interesting to read about the experiences of other women ... their feelings, their motivations, as well as their justifications. Overall, I'm glad that I read this collection of essays but it wasn't a personal favorite. ( )
  amymelniczenko | May 3, 2010 |
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» Add other authors

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Offill, JennyEditorprimary authorall editionsconfirmed
Schappell, ElissaEditormain authorall editionsconfirmed
Abel, HeatherContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Abu-Jaber, DianaContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Allison, DorothyContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Alsadir, NuarContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Bernheimer, KateContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Chenoweth, EmilyContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Gilmore, JenniferContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Gologorsky, BeverlyContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Gornick, VivianContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Hood, AnnContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Keeter, NicoleContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Marx, PatriciaContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Millet, LydiaContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Morris, MaryContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Offill, JennyContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Prose, FrancineIntroductionsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Roiphe, KatieContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Schappell, ElissaContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Schulman, HelenContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Strout, ElizabethContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
White, EmilyContributorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
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Epigraph
I have lost friends, som by death . . . others through sheer inability to cross the street.
—Virginia Woolf
Dedication
For Amanda Davis,
who is dearly missed
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0767917197, Paperback)

Losing a friend can be as painful and as agonizing as a divorce or the end of a love affair, yet it is rarely written about or even discussed. THE FRIEND WHO GOT AWAY is the first book to address this near-universal experience, bringing together the brave, eloquent voices of writers like Francine Prose, Katie Roiphe, Dorothy Allison, Elizabeth Strout, Ann Hood, Diana Abu Jabar, Vivian Gornick, Helen Schulman, and many others. Some write of friends who have drifted away, others of sudden breakups that took them by surprise. Some even celebrate their liberation from unhealthy or destructive relationships. Yet at the heart of each story is the recognition of a loss that will never be forgotten.

From stories about friendships that dissolved when one person revealed a hidden self or moved into a different world, to tales of relationships sabotaged by competition, personal ambition, or careless indifference, THE FRIEND WHO GOT AWAY casts new light on the meaning and nature of women’s friendships. Katie Roiphe writes with regret about the period in her life when even close friends seemed expendable compared to men and sex. Mary Morris reveals how a loan led to the unraveling of a lifelong friendship. Vivian Gornick explores how intellectual differences eroded the bond between once inseparable companions. And two contributors, once best friends, tell both sides of the story that led to their painful breakup.

Written especially for this anthology and touched with humor, sadness, and sometimes anger, these extraordinary pieces simultaneously evoke the uniqueness of each situation and illuminate the universal emotions evoked by the loss of a friend.

(retrieved from Amazon Mon, 30 Sep 2013 13:59:04 -0400)

(see all 3 descriptions)

Losing a friend can be as painful and agonizing as a divorce or the end of a love affair, yet it is rarely written about or even discussed. This is the first anthology to address this near-universal experience, bringing together the voices of writers like Francine Prose, Katie Roiphe, Dorothy Allison, Elizabeth Strout, Ann Hood, Diana Abu-Jaber, Vivian Gornick, Helen Schulman, and many others. Some write of friends who have drifted away; others of sudden breakups that took them by surprise. Some even celebrate their liberation from unhealthy or destructive relationships. Yet at the heart of each story is the recognition of a loss that will never be forgotten.--From publisher description.… (more)

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