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The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family (2005)

by Dan Savage

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7432129,998 (3.99)8
Biography & Autobiography. LGBTQIA+ (Nonfiction.) Nonfiction. HTML:

In a time when much of the country sees red whenever the subject of gay marriage comes up, Dan Savageâ??outspoken author of the column Savage Loveâ??makes it personal.

Dan Savage's mother wants him to get married. His boyfriend, Terry, says "no thanks" because he doesn't want to act like a straight person. Their six-year-old son, D.J., says his two dads aren't "allowed" to get married but that he'd like to come to the reception and eat cake. Throw into the mix Dan's straight siblings, whose varied choices form a microcosm of how Americans are approaching marriage these days, and you get a rollicking family memoir that will have everyoneâ??gay or straight, right or left, single or marriedâ??howling with laughter and rethinking their notions of marriage and all it e… (more)

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Showing 1-5 of 21 (next | show all)
I picked this up on impulse at the library. I've always had very mixed feelings about Dan Savage. Those mixed feelings were often reconfirmed while reading this book. While examining his own feelings on marriage, Savage reflects on the variety of relationships on display in his own family, and the way marriage, or alternative arrangements, have worked well (or not) for them. There are some moments of tender compassion here, especially for his grandmother -- a woman who seemed to sink into drinking and depression to deal with feeling trapped by the roles society offered her (she wanted to become a doctor - became a stay-at-home mother instead.)

But Savage's writing voice has always leaned toward the asshole side, and that side is on full display here as well, from bitching that of course taking 4 weeks off for vacation seems reasonable to Terry, who's had the past 250 weeks "off," to sniping that South Dakotans are terrified of "subways, sodomites, and sit-ups." Of course, everyone bitches about their spouse/partner sometimes, and Savage has some real fears about being attacked/arrested while driving through the Great Plains. And he does show his own vulnerabilities now and again, too. But seriously, don't get me started on his bitching about brides.

What I enjoyed most about this book was the analysis of what modern marriage means. The steps taken toward and against gay marriage. What campaigns both for and against say about straight marriage.

Worth the read. But glad I didn't buy it. ( )
  greeniezona | Dec 6, 2017 |
2005 era meditations on gay marriage as Dan's mom argues for, he and Terry plan mutual tattoos and their six year old son is adamant that boys marry girls. Comic, political, touching comments on changes in marriage and parenting, family attachments and the nature of marriage. ( )
  ritaer | Apr 12, 2014 |
Finished this morning. I must say i am glad I am done and can pick something else to read. To be honest I was really getting so bored with the marriage stuff. Are we going to get married or not? Yawn.

It is interesting to read how the Americans, well some treat gays. It is so different here. Gays are very much part of every day life and for me the only thing different is the way they have sex. O one thing though. I really find annoying about gays.
They want to belong, have all the rights straights have, which they have in my country, but then why do they have to do there own Gay pride days and all that stuff. I do not do my Straight Days?
Amsterdam Gay Pride day. Where all the gays are dancing half naked on boats. Back to the book. I really liked his first book which was more personal. This was too much about his yes or no going to be married. And OMG what a spoiled child they made of DJ. Another pet peeve of mine. We yes I did it too, spoil are kids too much. we let them run the show. ( )
  Marlene-NL | Apr 12, 2013 |
I enjoy Savage's writing. I was predisposed to like this book. Unsurprisingly, I did.

Savage has a gimlet eye which somehow manages to also be warm and sweet. His struggles with the nature of marriage and his own personal relationship to it are seasoned with family vignettes and hilarious walk-ons by his mom. The evolution of Savage's son's understanding of what it would mean for his dads to be married is also pretty amusing. The indictment of the present political climate as it pertains to gay life is searing and painful.

Recommended.

( )
  satyridae | Apr 5, 2013 |
Savage breaks down relationships, marriage and the debate of gay marriage into hilarious quips and all-too-true insight into the absurd reasons some conservatives give for being against gay marriage. it'd be good for people on all sides of the issue to read this. plus, it's super funny at times! ( )
  mawls | Apr 4, 2013 |
Showing 1-5 of 21 (next | show all)
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I can't shake the feeling that I've lived this moment before.
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Biography & Autobiography. LGBTQIA+ (Nonfiction.) Nonfiction. HTML:

In a time when much of the country sees red whenever the subject of gay marriage comes up, Dan Savageâ??outspoken author of the column Savage Loveâ??makes it personal.

Dan Savage's mother wants him to get married. His boyfriend, Terry, says "no thanks" because he doesn't want to act like a straight person. Their six-year-old son, D.J., says his two dads aren't "allowed" to get married but that he'd like to come to the reception and eat cake. Throw into the mix Dan's straight siblings, whose varied choices form a microcosm of how Americans are approaching marriage these days, and you get a rollicking family memoir that will have everyoneâ??gay or straight, right or left, single or marriedâ??howling with laughter and rethinking their notions of marriage and all it e

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