The author details his immersion in a world of hardcore drugs, revealing the mental and physical depths of addiction, and the violent relapse one summer in California that forever changed his life, leading him down the road to recovery.
BoekenTrol71: I'm not sure if this book is translated into English. Recommended this one, because it made a HUGE impression on me when I read the book (and later watched the movie). Flashbacks from both haunted me whenever I encountered drugs: has been very effective...… (more)
How can I go forward when I don't know which way I'm facing? ~John Lennon
For Lee and my friend in New York who took me in. You are both beautiful, inspiring, powerful women. You are the two people I respect and admire most in the world. Thank you.
I'd heard rumors about what happened to Lauren. I mean, I never even knew her that well but we'd sort of hung out a few times in high school. Actually, I was sleeping with her for about two weeks. She had moved to San Francisco when I was a senior and we met somehow -- at a party or something. Back in high school it was just pot, maybe I'd do some acid and mushrooms on the weekend.
Still, for all the therapy I had, none of it ever really fixed that feeling of torn-apartness inside of me. I learned how to express myself is all. And, for whatever reason, indentifying the root cause of my problem -- like fear of abandonment or something -- didn't change a goddamn thing. I could see quite clearly why I acted a certain way, but that wouldn't make me any different. I sought out craziness. I was attracted to it. No therapy could take that away. (Day 10)
So my challenge is to be authentic. And I believe I am today. I believe I am.