Free For All: Oddballs, Geeks, and Gangstas in the Public Library (2007)

Mild-mannered librarian tells all!

Not long ago, the public library was a place for the bookish, the eggheaded, and the studious--often seeking refuge from a loud, irrational, and crude outside world. Today, libraries have become free-for-all entertainment complexes, filled with deviants, drugs, and even sex toys.

What happened?

Don Borchert was a short-order-cook, door-to-door salesman, telemarketer, and Christmas-tree-chopper before landing work at a California library. He never could have predicted his encounters with the colorful kooks, bullies, and tricksters who fill the pages of this hilarious memoir.

In Free for All, Borchert offers readers a ringside seat to the unlikely spectacle of mayhem and absurdity that is business as usual at the public library. You'll see cops bust drug dealers who've set up shop in the men's restroom, witness a burka-wearing employee suffer a curse-ridden nervous breakdown, and meet a lonely, neglected kid who grew up in the library and still sends postcards to his surrogate parents--the librarians.

You'll finally find answers to all those often-asked questions: What's up with that Dewey Decimal System--do librarians actually understand it? (Yess, but they don't all like it.) Do the library computers have access to everything, even porn? (Yes.) What happens if you never pay those overdue fines? Do they just keep adding up? (sort of. It depends on the kind of day the librarian is having and how polite you are.) And what's the strangest thing to land in the book return bin? (You won't believe it, and it's got absolutely nothing to do with great literature.)

From the first page of this comic debut to the last, you'll learn everything about the world of the modern-day library that you never expected. [from the jacket]