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The Five Love Languages: How to Express…
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The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate (original 1992; edition 1995)

by Gary Chapman

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5,29089836 (3.98)31
Member:readr
Title:The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
Authors:Gary Chapman
Info:Northfield Publishing (1995), Edition: 2nd, Paperback, 204 pages
Collections:Your library
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Tags:non fiction, love, communication

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The Five Love Languages by Gary D. Chapman (1992)

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Showing 1-5 of 88 (next | show all)
Josh and Katie
  LoBiancoBuzzard | Apr 4, 2017 |
I don't read a lot of self-help type books, but I often have the same problem with the ones I have: they have a center of good information wrapped up in annoying presentation. The 5 Love Languages fits that description. The idea at the core of the book--that different people communicate love differently--seems like a pretty good one, but I found that "save your marriage by learning your spouse's love language" presentation irritating, both because it's oversimplistic and because it unnecessarily limits the usefulness of this information--this approach to thinking about communicating would work with anyone you care about and certainly isn't relevant to couples only if things are bad between them. I also found Chapman's discussion of some thorny issues (like abuse, like depression) waaaay too simplistic and lacking in the appropriate level of outreach (which could be as simple as offering contact information for support groups) to readers who might need help.

If you can get past those presentation irritations (or if they don't bother you), there's some good info here. Over years of counseling couples (it's unclear to me whether Chapman has any training in counseling or if he just has a lot of experience through religious organizations--I think it's the latter, and while that means I probably wouldn't seek him out for therapy, it doesn't, in my mind, disqualify him from sharing what he's learned through that experience), Chapman realized that not everyone expresses love in the same way and not everyone "hears" expressions of love in the same way. He lists the five ways he's observed couples express (and receive) love: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. He claims that for most people, one of these ways will be more effective than the others (and that one or two of them will have little effect whatsoever). Problems can arise if one tries to express her love in a way (a "language") that is ineffective for the recipient. So, if one's "love language" is quality time and one's partner (or mother or friend or whoever; I maintain that there's no reason this should be limited to romantic partners) spends very little time with one but gives one lots of gifts, one will not feel very loved. It's kind of a simple concept but I can see how individuals could easily miss that their way of saying "I love you" just isn't being heard.

I picked this up because it is everywhere, and my curiosity about it eventually just wore me down. Not a bad read, and does have some good advice at the center. Worth a spin through, but probably good choice for taking out of the library. ( )
  lycomayflower | Feb 1, 2017 |
marriage counsel
  BookstoogeLT | Dec 10, 2016 |
Dr. Chapman gives understanding to how people express love in various ways and how we can learn to interpret each other’s unique “language” and improve our relationships!
  mcmlsbookbutler | Dec 7, 2016 |
We were pretty disappointed in this book (my husband and I read it together).
Although he might have something worth while to say about the 5 love languages we couldn't really pay attention to those without cringing in pain at his awful gender stereotypes. Firstly, he does not include homosexual couples in this book at all. He presumes that everyone is heterosexual. Then repeatedly made it seem that women were more in need of emotional support than men, one-sidedly using stereotypes about how women cry etc without recognizing that men are emotional beings as well. However, what was the worst part for us however was in the 'act of service' section. The husband fully expected his wife to be a stay at home, work all day doing house chores, no career wife. Rather than addressing this as the problem (as Betty Friedman did in The Feminine Mystique 50 years ago), Chapman told the couple that the wife needed to make sure she did 4 things for the husband everyday and in turn he would *help her* with 4 things of his choice. Why doesn't he just do four things for her? There's still an expectation that she will be doing at least twice as much housework. There is no equality in that marriage. A woman's place is not in the home. Only a patriarchal oppressor would force a woman to stay home and do housework when she aspires to do greater things.
Overall, Chapman was greatly disappointing. He really needs to take a Sociology of Gender class before he writes another book because his views are very outdated... but considering he's an 80 year old man perhaps we can cut him some slack.
Sincerely,
Not impressed at all ( )
  Brinlie.Jill.Searle | Nov 22, 2016 |
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Wir flogen 10.000 Meter hoch zwischen Buffalo und Dallas, als der Mann neben mir seine Zeitschrift vor sich in die Sitztasche schob, sich mir zuwandte und mich fragte: "Was machen Sie denn beruflich?"
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0802473156, Paperback)

Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse’s primary love language—quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.

By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with specific, simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together.

Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com.

The Five Love Languages is a consistent new York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages.  This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running!

Includes a promotional code to gain exclusive online access to the new comprehensive love languages assessment.
 

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:07:58 -0400)

(see all 2 descriptions)

Dr. Chapman explains how people communicate love in different ways, and shares the wonderful things that happen when men and women learn to speak each other's language.

(summary from another edition)

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