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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

by John M. Gottman

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364914,468 (4.01)None
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Three Rivers Press (1999), Edition: 1, Paperback, 288 pages

Member:glanecia
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Tags:From Dad, Self Help, Psychology
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Gottman's seven principles are common sense; however, he shows why so many couples fail to implement these very basic principles. I found the many exercises to be helpful. The book doesn't give all the answers, but it can be a starting block to successful marriages for many couples who are worried about their relationship. But you have to do the exercises and you have to allow time to work with your relationship. The principles are not quick fixes. ( )
  erikssonfamily | Jul 7, 2009 |
This is the perfect book for those who prefer that their relationship advice be science-based rather than anecdotal. If you hated Venus/Mars, you may find a lot to like here. ( )
  wanack | Dec 22, 2008 |
This book is not very inspiring and does not give very practical marriage advice. ( )
  djsparks | May 13, 2008 |
Straight talk from the greatest American researcher on marriage. Dr. Gottman brings both experience and science to bear on what separates great relationships from poor ones. It also includes a number of great exercises for you and your partner. ( )
1 vote colehoo | May 8, 2008 |
Although I am a divorce lawyer, I consider myself more successful if my client gets back together and fires me. For any client interested in giving it another try, I always recommend this book first. It’s simple, research based, and there are work books and videos to help.

If you are considering a marriage counselor, they better know Gottman’s extensive works well. ( )
2 vote MarkBaumann | Mar 30, 2008 |
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John Gottman

Book description

Amazon.com (ISBN 0609805797, Paperback)

According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.

Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)

Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."

Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen

(retrieved from Amazon Fri, 24 Apr 2009 07:57:53 -0400)

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