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Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and…
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Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

by Tristan Taormino

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2771340,824 (4.1)5
  1. 20
    The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities by Dossie Easton (Hibou8, billmcn)
    Hibou8: These two books complement each other well.
    billmcn: This is the classic of the genre, but I think Opening Up deserves to replace it. It covers the same material but is better written.
  2. 10
    The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family by Dan Savage (billmcn)
    billmcn: A excellent personal account of what it takes to make a relationship work. Though primarily about his decision to enter into a same-sex marriage with his long-term partner, Savage discusses the strengths and pitfalls of many different kinds of long term relationships in a lively and plainspoken style.… (more)
  3. 00
    Portrait of a Marriage: Vita Sackville-West and Harold Nicolson by Nigel Nicolson (Hibou8)
    Hibou8: About Vita Sackville-West's open marriage, from her journals and letters, with narration by her son Nigel.
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» See also 5 mentions

Showing 1-5 of 13 (next | show all)
I found out about this book in a post by my friend Ian MacKenzie, "Love Will Be the Death of Us."

I've read a few other books on polyamory, but this one definitely feels the most useful. Taormino paints the picture that non-monogamy can be anything other than monogamy. The point is that it's outside of the box, for us do define. Through a multitude of case studies, the reader learns of numerous creative solutions people have come up with for organizing relationships in their lives. I think it could be useful even to the conservative reader, as it's important to realize the structures we [often subconsciously] consent to in our relationships.

I actually just came across a post that better summarizes the subject than I could, "The Coffee Break Primer on Polyamory" by Adam Powers.

Taormino wraps up the book by going in depth about safe sex, legal agreements, and child rearing. Although some readers might be tempted to skip over these more technical sections, they get into the details of how to really make a relationship work, of any sort.

I will say that I wasn't very into the writing style of this book. It felt dry and detached. I don't feel as though I got to connect with the author at all. But the information is of a quality and accessibility that I'm willing to overlook this. ( )
  willszal | Jul 26, 2016 |
Practical and sympathetic book on a range of ways of doing non-monogamy. Easy to read, lots of anecdotes from real people. Possibly slightly too much focus on America and BDSM for some people's tastes. ( )
  atreic | Oct 7, 2014 |
Despite being the first text I've read cover-to-cover on the subject of non-monogamy and polyamorous relationships, I nevertheless believe Opening Up to be one of the best. I have asked friends as well as professionals in the field for recommendations and of the texts I've attempted, Tristan's is the most compelling, fresh, relevant and broad without losing focus, while remaining true to her readership and staying wholly in the realm of light reading (well, light adult reading at any rate). I specifically enjoyed her examples of the Poly Mission Statement and the way she integrated her MANY pertinent diverse examples. Additionally, in the glossary to Opening Up, Tristan provides a decent overview of the participants and data gathered, without bogging the reader down with statistical analyses. All said, a highly enjoyable read, especially for a serious non-fictional subject. ( )
1 vote senbei | Dec 5, 2013 |
An excellent, approachable guide to non-monogamy, incorporating a variety of models. Includes interviews with diverse individuals in open relationships, so the reader gets to hear about the joys and challenges of non-monogamy straight from those who are living the life.

Whenever I mention Opening Up to friends, they assume it's sleazy. It's not. This book is written in an entertaining and straightforward fashion, but it's not a "how to get a bunch of people into bed" book. It's about creating a sustainable style of open relationship through negotiation, transparency, and understanding.

Opening Up speaks across a broad spectrum. Whether you're into BDSM or you're an asexual romantic (or both), your needs are addressed in this book.

I recommend Opening Up highly to anyone. Even if you never have any intention of living non-monogamously, do read Opening Up. There's something in this book for everyone. ( )
  GiselleRenarde | May 10, 2013 |
This book is easy to read and non-confrontational, but at the same time, I am not sure it gives a whole lot of insight into really developing an "open" relationship... perhaps that is the key take-away, though, that everyone has to decide for themselves what they want, it has to be defined personally, and the follow through is a long and sometimes painful path.

I think this book could have been written far more efficiently to say:
1 - There are more options in a non-monogamous lifestyle than one could ever hope to write about in 300 pages. You want more love and/or sex in your life? Define what your wants and needs are.
2 - Approach your current partner with love and grace if you are interested in having them join you on this journey.
3 - Figure out if you can get what you need while giving your partner what he needs
4 - Realize that non-monogamy is a hell of a lot of work, and just because you've come to one agreement, don't fool yourself into believing this agreement will last.
5 - Renegotiate and work with your partner(s) to make sure everyone is still happy in the relationship structure. Be prepared to do so regularly.
6 - Realize that there are others out there who are in similar battles. Knowing you aren't alone is a huge piece of navigating this challenge. ( )
  HippieLunatic | May 4, 2011 |
Showing 1-5 of 13 (next | show all)
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I dedicate this book to every person who has the courage to live and love outside the box.
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 157344295X, Paperback)

Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino offers a bold new strategy for creating loving, lasting relationships. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships — from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:19:49 -0400)

Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino offers a bold new strategy for creating loving, lasting relationships. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships-from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy.… (more)

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