Now why can't my husband get this like I do? lol. Great book! ( )

Opening Up is a primer on polyamorous relationships that describes why lifelong monogamy is an untenable arrangement for some, elucidates the main alternatives that have arisen in the western world in the past sixty or so years, and provides practical advice for non-monogamous people on issues like dealing with jealousy, juggling schedules, and raising children. It is best suited for people considering incorporating polyamory into their lives, or as a means of soothing the nerves of worried friends, relatives, and partners. Taormino's presentation is self-helpy but serviceable. She is inordinately fond of bullet points. Her prose is workmanlike and (apart from the delightfully icky turn of phrase "fluid-bonded") as bland as oatmeal, which is precisely what you want in a book like this. The most helpful aspects are tips on maintaining open lines of communication. (Further evidence that polyamory is a plot invented by women to trick men into talking about their feelings all the time.) The least helpful are the anecdotes from people in open relationships that conclude every chapter. These tend to be uniformly upbeat and therefore not very informative.

If you are already in an open relationship, this book will not tell you anything you don't already know, but it's still helpful to have things written down clearly in one place. In creating this guide, Taormino has done a service for many people who are trying to be honest and realistic about their sexual and emotional lives.

• The classic of this genre remains The Ethical Slut, though I think Opening Up deserves to replace it. It covers the same material but is better written.


• For a personal account of what it takes to make a relationship work, check out Dan Savage's The Commitment. Though primarily about his decision to enter into a same-sex marriage with his long-term partner, Savage discusses the strengths and pitfalls of many different kinds of long term relationships in a lively and plainspoken style.

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Good stuff, goes from beginner to hxc. I wonder when we're going to get to the point where books about open relationships don't have to have four or five beginning chapters that justify their motivations to exist in the first place. ( )

Taormino provides a much-needed update to the subject. Unlike other authors who have tackled the subject of open relationships, Taormino makes the argument that polyamory can be non-sexual, and such relationships are as valid and important as those with a sexual component. Clearly written without being dogmatic, instructive without being preachy, Taormino's book could possibly topple "The Ethical Slut" from its place as the definitive book on open relationships. Read it if you're curious, currently practicing, or just intrigued by the many and varied ways that human beings relate to each other. ( )

Opening Up is by far the best book about open relationships written in the past 10 years. (and I've read a lot of them.) It covers different models of nonmonogamy- everything from polyfidelity to swinging- and is informative and nonjudgmental. I'd recommend this to people new to the lifestyle and people just looking for new perspectives. ( )