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Haunted: A Novel by Chuck Palahniuk
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Haunted: A Novel (original 2005; edition 2006)

by Chuck Palahniuk

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5,910129707 (3.4)107
Member:ladydzura
Title:Haunted: A Novel
Authors:Chuck Palahniuk
Info:Anchor (2006), Paperback, 432 pages
Collections:Your library
Rating:
Tags:@wishlist: to read

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Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk (2005)

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English (126)  Spanish (1)  French (1)  Dutch (1)  Portuguese (Brazil) (1)  All languages (130)
Showing 1-5 of 126 (next | show all)
"Nobody calls Michaelangelo the Vatican's bitch", says the Duke of Vandals
just because he begged Pope Julius for work

The Duke onstage, his scruffy jaw, scrub brush with pale stubble,
it goes round and round, kneading and grinding
a wad of nicotine gum.
His gray sweatshirt and canvas pants are flecked with dried raisings of red, dark-red,
yellow, blue and green, brown, black and white paint

His hair tumbles behind him, a tangle of brass wire, tarnished dark with oil
and dusted with sticky flakes of dandruff.

Onstage instead of spotlight, a movie fragment:
a slide show of portraits and allegories, still lifes and landscapes.
All of this ancient art, it uses his face, his chest, his stocking feet in sandals
as a gallery wall."

The Duke of Vandals he says "No one calls Mozart a corporate whore"
Because he worked for the archbishop of Salzburg
After that, then wrote the Magic Flute
wrote Eine kleine Nachtmusik
Paid by trickle-down cash from Giuseppe bridi and his big-money silk industry.
Nor do we call Leonardo da vinci a sellout,
a tool, because he slopped paint for gold from Pope Leo X and Lorenzo de Medici
"No," says the Duke, "We look at the Last Supper and the Mona Lisa
And never know who paid the bills to create them"
What matters, he says, is what the artist leaves behind, the artwork
Not how you paid the rent."

"For Hire" - Chuck Palahniuk

Haunted is a collection of increasingly grim and horrifying personal stories and poems, as an isolated writers-retreat becomes a horrifying journey into darkness, despair and the search for personal fame. Each character in the book presents his poem and his riveting backstory in turn. Palahniuk skillfully turns up the tension piece by piece as the story descends into madness. ( )
  Patrik_Axelsson | Sep 13, 2016 |
It would be naive to say that the graphic nature of this novel isn't one of its major draws, and that upsets a lot of people, understandably. Not everyone is into the weird, gross, and macabre. If you can handle it however, or are even-*gasp*-intrigued by the darker recesses of humanity, Haunted is a wonderful novel.

The framing story is enough to pique interest if you've not already heard of the novel for its short stories. A group of people, all different, most never identified by their real names, answer an ad for a writer's retreat out away from their lives and the rest of civilization for three months so they can focus their entire energy on producing their life's work.

Things, of course, aren't all they're cracked up to be, and the writers soon figure this out. Minor spoiler: Instead of banding together to formulate a plan to escape, they engage in self-sabotage, finding ways to make their already bad situation even worse, in the hopes that they will be rescued by some unknown entity, and their made-up story on how they were kidnapped, starved, and mutilated will generate enough buzz to make them all famous and soon production studios will be lining up to purchase the film rights.

While the writers don't ever do much writing during the framing chapters, each give way to a poem about a certain character and a short story by them. It's usually never clear when the story was written, and some are even just recited by the character telling it, but by that time you'll have realized that the actual writing process of these characters isn't the point, and never was.

None of the characters sound too different from each other in the way Chuck writes their stories, so some may understandably have an issue with that, but if you latch onto the increasingly sick and depraved stories these characters tell, you won't mind. You'll be wondering what awful story someone will tell next. It's more morbid satisfaction to me than meaningful literature, but I'm perfectly okay with that. They're all well-written, interesting, and so certifiably Chuck Palahniuk that I enjoyed this novel immensely.

My favorite of the short stories include the infamous Guts, that will make you pucker right up, Mrs. Clark's trilogy of stories surrounding The Nightmare Box, the horrifying and oddly sweet Exodus, the absurd Civil Twilight, and the graphic Hot Potting.

Don't miss this if you're an envelope-pushing Palahniuk fan, a fan of horror, or the absurd. Those aren't the only qualities this book has to offer, but don't kid yourself if they don't make it a little more morbidly exciting. ( )
  TheTylex | Jun 3, 2016 |
This anthology includes classic text that is written in language accessible to American teens, The individual biographies of the authors is located toward the end of the book presumably to prevent distraction from the stories themselves, but available as a resource to apply background knowledge to the text which is imperative for understanding the context of each story.

This would be great for teaching classic text around Halloween. It would also be a great feature in the library around Halloween time along with other books that relay ghost stories ( )
  MagLuCliff | Apr 15, 2016 |
2005 ( )
  ChrisPisarczyk | Mar 17, 2016 |
This is one of the most horrible books I have ever read! Not because it is a "bad" book but because the characters are completely and utterly terrible people. I was so disgusted by some of the things I read I had to take breaks just regain some emotional stability. It was like watching an episode of reality television; you know it's wrong and you should stop but you just can't help but tune in. ( )
  AmberKirbey | Mar 10, 2016 |
Showing 1-5 of 126 (next | show all)
Palahniuk's always been hammy, but in the past, speedster plots and glossy prose salvaged the sitcom shallowness. Here, Haunted's wonky framing device tries to hold together 23 tales (and 21 accompanying poems) that would've best been served without garnish.
 
If books had aromas, this one would reek of "old potatoes melting into a black puddle under the kitchen sink."
 
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Original title
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People/Characters
Important places
Important events
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Awards and honors
Epigraph
Dedication
First words
This was supposed to be a writer's retreat. It was supposed to be safe.

An isolated writer's colony, where we could work,
run by an old, old dying man named Whittier,
until it wasn't.

And we supposed to write poetry. Pretty poetry.
This crowd of us, his gifted students,
locked away from the ordinary world for three months.
Quotations
The difference between how you look and how you see yourself is enough to kill most people. (Mrs. Clark in “Post Production: A Story by Mrs. Clark")
Last words
(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
Disambiguation notice
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Original language

References to this work on external resources.

Wikipedia in English (1)

Book description
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0385509480, Hardcover)

Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk is a novel made up of stories: Twenty-three of them, to be precise. Twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach-churning tales you’ll ever encounter—sometimes all at once. They are told by people who have answered an ad headlined “Writers’ Retreat: Abandon Your Life for Three Months,” and who are led to believe that here they will leave behind all the distractions of “real life” that are keeping them from creating the masterpiece that is in them. But “here” turns out to be a cavernous and ornate old theater where they are utterly isolated from the outside world—and where heat and power and, most important, food are in increasingly short supply. And the more desperate the circumstances become, the more extreme the stories they tell—and the more devious their machinations become to make themselves the hero of the inevitable play/movie/nonfiction blockbuster that will surely be made from their plight.

Haunted is on one level a satire of reality television—The Real World meets Alive. It draws from a great literary tradition—The Canterbury Tales, The Decameron, the English storytellers in the Villa Diodati who produced, among other works, Frankenstein—to tell an utterly contemporary tale of people desperate that their story be told at any cost. Appallingly entertaining, Haunted is Chuck Palahniuk at his finest—which means his most extreme and his most provocative.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:11:57 -0400)

(see all 3 descriptions)

Twenty-three stories chronicle the experiences of people who have answered an ad for an artist's retreat, believing that they will find a peaceful refuge, only to find themselves isolated and trapped in a cavernous old theater.

(summary from another edition)

» see all 5 descriptions

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