Oh, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. If there was a reality show featuring you doing nothing but hurl insults at a wall all day long, I would watch it. I would watch it first of all because, judging from this book, chances are I'm gonna agree with those insults. The stupid wall deserves it. But also because again, judging from this book, you have 3859478563490 words stored in an area of your brain designed specifically for the purpose of Innovative Dissing. Us mortals don't have this area, or if we do, it's embarrassingly underdeveloped. I mean why can you take a subject as boring as human hair and make it funny? ("What's hair's beef, anyway? What's it trying to prove? It sprouts with enthusiastic urgency, sometimes in the most unexpected places, and then merely hangs around getting in the way. Think your job's pointless? At least you don't dangle off a scalp for a living.") How is this fair for the rest of us, who sometimes take some of the funniest, most hilarious shit ever - like Aronofski's The Fountain, for example - and all we can think to say about it is "that movie was, like, SO bad."? Life is obnoxiously unfair.

P.S., a caveat or two: this book is not a Book in the real, novelish, plot-and-characters sort of way. It's a collection of newspaper articles and, as such, needs to be savoured in small doses for full effect. Also, if you're one of those people that get offended at jokes about God, celebrities, politicians, and life in general, don't read it. If you think Big Brother's too common and "lowbrow" a topic, don't read it. If you do not find "I hate children" T-shirts in the least humorous, don't read it (Some people have tagged this book as "misanthropic" - which is baffling, because a) surely, if there is one group of people you can call annoying without offending anyone that group is Children: "dot-eyed shouting machines hell-bent on sabotaging whatever scraps of tranquility remain in this pitiful world" and b) have you read his piece about Americans?). Last test: what is your reaction to the mention of Dr. Screw and sonic dildos? If you are - possibility no.1 - insulted and a little bit disgusted: not for you. If you are - possibility no. 2 - intrigued and a little bit amused: then GO GET YOUR HANDS ON THE DAMNED BOOK STRAIGHT AWAY! ( )

"Anyway, dark matter doesn't just exist in space. There are millions of people who essentially consist of dark matter; unknowable swaths of the population I have never encountered and will never understand.
"People who watch Emmerdale, for example."

This is the second collection of Brooker's columns for The Guardian, originally published between 2004 and 2007. Half are from his TV column, half from his column on more general subjects. Most of them are excellent.

I could do with a bit less about shows like Big Brother and The X Factor. I'm never going to watch them. But then, you could probably use this to pick up enough about them to manage to hold water-cooler conversations, without having to actually sit through the shows themselves.

Otherwise, I can have no complaints. Brooker is effortlessly funny, even when he's angry. And he's often angry. There's a lot of stupidity out there. If that bothers you, this book will help. ( )

A compliation of Brooker's Guardian columns.
Nice to dip into - funny and ascerbic, but really it'd be better if he ould write something more in-depth - the TV show shows he can do it. ( )

Second collection of columns by Charlie Brooker. Sometimes hilarious, but overall I think I enjoyed Screen Burn more, maybe because I had read less of the content of that in the papers before getting the book. I still maintain that no-one has a better way with insults, particularly when describing Big Brother contestants. ( )