Love the One You're With is Emily Giffin's fourth novel; I've read them all, and this may be my favorite one yet.

It took Ellen Dempsey a couple of years to sort herself out again after the abrupt end of her intense post-college relationship with Leo, the journalist she met during a stint at jury duty. But when she was ready, there was already someone waiting - Andy Graham, her best friend's brother. Their relationship may lack some of that intensity, but it's compatible and comfortable, and Ellen's genuinely happy with it...until she unexpectedly runs into Leo on a New York City street, and the encounter makes her start asking herself a lot of questions. Meanwhile, Andy's asking questions of his own, but his involve leaving their New York life behind and moving back to his hometown, Atlanta. His family is there, along with a position in his father's law practice - but aside from that, what does the upscale suburb of Buckhead hold for Ellen and her photography career?

I liked most of the characters in this novel, which is narrated in the first person by Ellen - and I really liked Ellen. The character has a lot of self-awareness, even as she does things that she realizes are probably not in her best interests and could very well backfire on her. She has a tendency to idealize her husband's family and their background, but I think it's understandable to anyone who's ever felt their own upbringing to be lacking somehow; for her, much of that sense of lack is the result of the early death of her mother, and it colors many of her relationships. The most important women in her life are her best friend/sister-in-law Margot and her older sister Suzanne, but mother loss plays a role in how she relates to men as well; it's part of the intensity and insecurity in her relationship with Leo, and a factor in the comfort of her marriage to Andy - the same comfort that makes her wonder if she's somehow "settling."

Emily Giffin does a fine job of drawing believable, human characters who have to make choices that aren't always black and white, and that rarely turn out to be final or perfect. I related to Ellen a lot, and I think other readers will too - most of us have had reason to wonder about our relationships and who we are in their context, at one time or another, haven't we? Giffin's brand of chick-lit is lower on the fluff and melodrama than some examples of the genre, and I'm sure that's part of its appeal for me. Love the One You're With is a smart, character-driven novel, and its author remains on my must-read list. ( )

Read 2009

I couldn't connect with the character telling the story, so I gave up, I read the last 2 chapters to feel like I finished it and I can't imagine the whole book being about her dilemma on 'Love the one your With' BORING ( )

Emily Giffin, you are always there for me when I need to escape into someone else's life and problems.

I thought of her 4 books this one was my least favorite, but I still really liked it. I fell right in to the character and her struggle between choosing the life (and man) that is safe and secure and the hot rollercoaster of a romance with "the one that got away". The book is junk food, but it's delicious!

Also, I LOVE how cute her books look on my bookshelf. I know I'm not supposed to judge a book by it's cover, but I almost gave it an extra star for design. ( )

In the fourth novel by Emily Giffin, we meet Ellen, who has been married to Andy for 100 days when she runs into Leo - the one who got away. We explore the back story of Ellen and Leo, who had an amazingly intense relationship that went awry and then ended abruptly at his instigation. Despite the fact that Ellen loves her husband dearly and is best friends with Margot, his sister, she finds herself keeping it secret that she has met up with Leo. When he gets in contact to offer her a brilliant photography assignment, Ellen finds herself tempted by more than just the offer of work. From there we see through Ellen's eyes as she wavers between the perfect life and wonderful husband on one hand, and wondering 'what if?' about her past relationship with Leo.

I have read all of Giffin's novels and by now I know what to expect. The stories come from a first person perspective and concern women in a relationship dilemma. It is much like sitting down over coffee with a best friend and hearing about her woes - the writing is comfortable and the novels offer a gentle perspective on the various problems that can inflict partnerships. The characters are usually somewhat cliched, and some suffer from being one dimensional as well, but Giffin has a warm voice and invites you to feel sympathy for the situation of the main characters. Here as well, it was hard to conceive that Ellen would end up with anyone but the man she eventually chooses - this would be too subversive for a Giffin book.

Here I could identify easily with Ellen - anyone who has had a past relationship end with little explanation and still feels rogue feelings for that person will understand how she got caught up in contacting Leo again when he came back into her life. Giffin explores the ideas of the grass being greener - how those who fall into a rut can see another person or relationship as being preferable, rather than dealing with the problems that exist. I enjoyed Giffin's commentary on how the money her husband earns can be more of a hindrance to Ellen's life than a blessing.

I loved Ellen's enthusiasm for photography and the way that this both led the plot and provided poetic passages that lifted Giffin's writing above that of other 'chick lit' authors. I particularly enjoyed hearing about the shots that she took at Coney Island, and could actually imagine them from the descriptions.

So, this novel was much as I expected and a diverting read on a rainy afternoon, but certainly nothing that would challenge the intellect. Enjoyable and fluffy. ( )

The Story

Ellen married the perfect man for her… Andy. In addition to being a successful attorney from a good family, Andy is her best friend, Margot’s, brother. After a long courtship, planning the perfect wedding, and sunning on Hawaiian beaches for their honeymoon, the newlyweds settle into a seemingly perfect life in New York City. There, Ellen is a professional photographer, building her own business while Andy is employed by a large, reputable law firm. In their new marriage and new home, the future seems nothing but bright. However, on one fateful afternoon, things changed for Ellen that would alter the course of her future and her marriage.

That afternoon started like any other. As Ellen traveled through a cross-walk, she was confronted with the face of her past and was met with the eyes of her first true love, Leo. For Ellen, getting over Leo was a long journey filled with emotional hurdles. She was happy to be on the other side of the pain… married to Andy and living the life she’d always wanted. After Leo tracks her down at a nearby coffee shop, Ellen begins to question if she really is, in fact, over her feelings for Leo. Her love for him ran deep into her heart, mind, and soul. Was Leo, “The One That Got Away?” Ellen wasn’t sure. As Leo presses for a friendship to develop after their chance encounter, Ellen struggles with making the right decision, for her and for her family.

The Review

I became a fan of Giffin’s writing when I read Something Borrowed. I had high hopes that I would get to read Something Blue and Baby Proof, however no such luck. I just haven’t gotten around to picking up these two other books. I especially wanted to read Something Blue, as it was a sequel to Something Borrowed. Even though my goal was to read all of her novels, in succession, I just couldn’t pass up buying this book when I saw it in paperback at my local grocery store. Being an ultimate fan of ChickLit, I just couldn’t wait to get this book into my reading list!

I could really personally relate to the heroine of this story. I, too, have had that great love of my life… and lost it. I tried to imagine meeting a wonderful man in my current life and getting committed to one another… and then running into HIM. You know… THE ONE. I’m going to be perfectly honest in saying that it would still shake me to the core. I believe that true love really never does die. It may dim or hibernate, but it never really leaves you. It becomes a part of the permanent memory of your soul. So, if HE were then to share with me that HE’s not over me… misses me… and wants to try again… well, let me tell you… that would have my head spinning! I’m not sure that I’d have the power and the strength to deny HIM and not at least consider it. And, that’s what Ellen must face in this story.

Of course, Andy is the perfect new husband and nothing like Leo, the stormy, hot, sexy, passionate lover that stirred Ellen’s inner being. Andy’s “Mr. Dependable,” and is as reliable as the day is long. He’s loving, caring, considerate, financially secure and most of all committed to Ellen. He also shares his incredible family with Ellen. They love her and have accepted her into their hearts and homes. Logically speaking, Ellen would be a fool to walk away from Andy. Right? Right. But… Leo won’t give up so easily. Now that he’s found her again, he’s going to make his intentions known to her. And, Ellen isn’t exactly running from Leo.

For those of you who have met your soul-mate and have been fortunate enough to build a lasting relationship with him/her, consider yourselves very lucky. Great love is hard to find, but even harder to keep. For the rest of us poor souls who keep our noses tucked in stories of romance and love… well, we’ll keep wishing!

The Rating

On Sher’s “Out of Ten Scale,” in the genre of ChickLit, I am giving Love The One You’re With a rating of 8 out of 10. It made me think and it made me hope. And, you don’t know until the very end who Ellen will choose. If you’ve read it, I’d love to know who you think she should have chosen! ( )

What can I say? I don't usually read chick lit, but the premise of this book appealed to me. Who doesn't love the intrigue of the one who got away?
This is a typical girly book, full of sentiment and stereotypical characters. However, I appreciated the fact that the main character, Ellen, was not one of those materialistic, self-centred protagonists typical of chick lit.
Overall, I would definitely recommend this quick read to lovers of chick lit, or someone who needs a light summer, looking to escape for a while. ( )

It was ok, but I just really did not connect with the characters ( )

Tired of reading of vampires and warewolves, this book was a breath of fresh air. I didn't think I'd like it as much as I did. Even though it was chicklit, I didn't know how it was going to end. ( )

It was all utterly, completely predictable. And I'm not one who often predicts endings. That said, it would be a great beach read: a good book to lose yourself in for a while. ( )

A cute, feel-good book. I loved the ending, but wished that there was more story to read after that. ( )

I hvae read all of Emily Giffin's books but this was by far the best one I have read yet. It only took me a day and a half to finish. Ellen reminded me of myself when I was 19/20. It made me all the more want to finish the book and see who Ellen ended up with.

Ellen is married to Andy,and has been friends with Andy's sister since college. Ellen is very close to Andy's family. Ellen and Andy have a good marriage . They live in NYC. One day Ellen runs into her old boyfriend, Leo, who she has not seen/talked to in over 8 years. This brings back deep seated memories for Ellen esp. how things ended between her and leo. Ellen starts to get question her life and marriage and nearly comes close to having an affair but just as Ellen is about to kiss Leo, her cell phone rings. It is her sister Suzanne calling with important news and saving Ellen from making a terrible mistake with Leo again. Sometimes thoings and the past is better left there. Appreciate what you have have and don't look or go back. " Instead, I hold that deep within myself, as a reminder that love is the sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that bind us together". Page 342 ( )

A story of what ifs... especially what if you'd never broken up with that first great love... Emily Giffin tells a great tale of heartbreak, confusion, friendship, and ultimately love and redemption. Although it definitely veers towards the Chick Lit genre, the book covers a variety of turbulent emotions in a very realistic way. A good, quick read. ( )

I enjoyed this, but not as much as Giffin's three earlier books. The premise of a happily-married woman running into her ex-boyfriend and re-evaluating her "perfect" life was certainly intriguing, but the characters weren't as compelling as I would have liked. ( )

The main character (Ellen) is a realisitc, as she is a woman trying to establish herself as an individual, apart for her successful and rich husband and his family. Things spin out of control after a chance encounter with an old flame, a man who's difficult to completely let go of, for one reason or another.

I liked the book overall, even though it was fairly predictable. However, I did find the ending very rushed. Ellen spends so much of the book completely conflicted and then everything seems to clear up in her head and in her heart in the last 15 pages of the book. I would have liked to see a more realistic resolution to the various relationships strained by Ellen's inner conflict. ( )

Fluff. Didn't read this time, but think read before. ( )

Ellen finds her newlywed world turning upside-down when she runs into an old boyfriend just before moving from New York to her husband's hometown of Atlanta. ( )

I really liked this book because I could identify with the main character. That is what I love about Emily Giffin books - I can always put myself in the shoes of her characters. Overall, I thought the story itself was okay - nothing too exciting and the ending seemed to wrap everything up a little too quickly. But overall a good book I could not put down! ( )

Ellen Dempsey is married to the perfect guy, Andy and seems to have the perfect life, but does she??? Ellen runs into her haunting, handsome ex, Leo and the "what ifs?" begin. Did she marry the right guy? Does she really love Andy? A recent move from her beloved New York to Atlanta also complicates things, along with some family issues.

I enjoyed Love the One You're With, it is a fun, light read. I got frustrated with Ellen...I mean, she has the perfect life, why screw it up with a loser? But, by the end of the story, I understood why she did what she did and really liked the ending. This was my first read by Giffin and I will definitely read some more of her books! ( )

After reading this book I was disapointed. Disapointed, only because that meant I no longer had an Emily Giffin book to read! It definately did not stray from typical Giffin fashion. It involved a classy woman, with the "perfect" life, who struggles with the idea of cheating. Just like Rachel's character in Something Borrowed, Ellen doesn't think she will start a romance with the man she does, but unlike Rachel, Ellen is married and the man she is romancing isn't her husband. While I love and devower every Giffin book, by this point I know what is going to happen once I have started. In her first book Something Borrowed it was more suspenseful and you weren't sure if she would choose to betray her friend or herself. In this book I could just since she would stay with her husband. Athough all her books have simiarities, Love the One You're With, I thought, had the most in common with Baby Proof. In both the main character struggles with her husband and the lifestyle that he wants to live and she doesnt. Then the main character gets to her breaking point and has to make a decision and she eventually decides to go back to her husband (or ex-husband in Baby Proof). While I love Emily's predictable style I found myself wishing she would have taken more twists and turns in this story. Overall if you are looking for a novel that is a step up from a trashy paperback, where you will fall in love with the characters, and is cheesy, this is your book! I liked it but like most Giffin books I felt the need to read something really complex and intellegent afterward. ( )

Love The One You're With by Emily Giffin is the story of Ellen, a woman who is a happily married newlywed, or so she thought, until she runs into her ex-boyfriend and can't get him out of her head. Ellen has to decide whether to choose to stay with her husband, a perfectly nice guy who is oblivious to her dilemma, and the one that got away, who is kind of a jerk. The story is meant be light hearted and funny, but, although I wanted Ellen to be happy, her problem had me frustrated with her and uncomfortable with her possibly choosing her ex over her sweet husband. I did enjoy the book and I am a big fan of Giffin's writing, I just was a little disappointed because I had been looking forward to reading the book for a while and felt slightly let down. It was a good book and I did enjoy it, I just didn't feel it was quite as good as Giffin's other books. I recommend this to anyone who enjoys chick lit or books written by Emily Giffin. 4 stars. ( )

Love the One You're With, Emily Giffin's fourth novel, is in familiar territory for the author. The main character, Ellen, is in her 30s, married, and without children. Ellen has a crisis when 100 days after her marriage to "Mr. Perfect" Andy she runs into her ex boyfriend Leo on the street. Ellen nearly throws it all away as she decides if she wants to "Love the One She's With".

Like Ms. Giffin's other novels, this book is well written and an enjoyable read. I liked that she introduced one of the characters, Hilary, from Something Borrowed as a tangential reference to her earlier work. Ellen is overall an enjoyable character to spend a couple of hundred pages with, even if you do occasionally wonder if she's lost her marbles--I mean, who agrees to move 800 miles on a whim? However, most of the other characters in this novel are total types, so it makes it really hard to get invested and root for them. Andy is "Mr. Perfect" Southerner, Leo is the "hunky artist", and Ellen's best friend Margot is the southern debutante. Even Ellen's sister--the sarcastic voice of reason--is typecast as a typical flight attendant. The novel would have been much more enjoyable if these characters had been a bit more rounded, making them real people instead of caricatures.

Overall, Love the One You're With was an enjoyable summer read. It was a quick read but still funny and smart (as is Ms. Giffin's way). I would recommend this to anyone looking for some good summer chick lit fun. But be warned, this is not the best there is. ( )

http://girlsjustreading.blogspot.com/... ( )

Ellen Graham is happy. She's newly married to Andy, a successful photographer and has the love and support of her family. She doesn't question her life or the choices she has made that led her to her current life. That is until, one brief moment, she sees Leo. Just like that her past becomes an unwelcoming invasion in the present.

Ellen quickly finds herself at a crossroad. The "what if" question quickly turns into an obsession as she finds herself constantly comparing her life with Andy to what she think life would be like with Leo. Despite the warnings her head tells her about starting a friendship with Leo, she accepts a photography assignment that he set up for her. Agreeing to the shoot, will force her to finally make a decision about her marriage and the woman she really is.

I really liked this book. I have to admit, I put off reading it because so many people told me how disappointed they were with it because it wasn't as good as Something Borrowed and Something Blue. I have to say, I disagree. The reason I liked Ms. Giffin's early novels was it seemed as though the characters were telling me their stories instead of me reading them. This is how I felt while reading this book. I pictured Ellen and I catching up, over a long lunch, after not seeing each other for awhile and she wanted to inform me about her life. Ms. Giffin is very descriptive in her writing, which I thought only added to the richness of this novel.

It is quite easy to judge Ellen and wonder why she makes the decisions she does. To her, it makes sense. She needed to confirm she made the right choice. She needed to move on. Love the One You're With is about walking down the path of "what if" when it unexpectedly comes your way, however, it's also about feeling secure that the decisions you made in the past were the best decisions for you. ( )

I am a big listener of audio tape books and this one was especially helpful because although I liked the main character, I was confused--upset?--with some of her actions. Happily, the author was interviewed at the end and yes, she did this on purpose---ie., you may not like everything about a character, just as you may not like "everything" about your very best friend. The author also mentioned that she was especially pleased with the Ellen's voice on the tape--just the way she would want her to sound. Having found this author first in her newspaper columns, I have been more than happy with her novels. ( )

I enjoyed this book. I thought it dealt realistically with the idea of running across an old flame. I especially appreciated the idea that when given another chance it turns out the old flame hasn't changed at all. That his ability to commit, even though he wanted her back, is exactly the same as it had been years previously. I think its true that most people could relate to the story, and be well satisfied by the outcome. ( )