The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year (1997)

I found this by far the best Dad's book. My copy has been on loan to three other fathers. ( )

The New Father is a book written for first time dads in an excellent balance of information and reassurance. Unlike the masses of literature for new mothers, this is a rare work that excellentliy fills the needs of fathers in a way that speaks to a more male perspective of the world. New Father breaks down the processes and activities of a new baby through monthly chunks meaning that it can be read through in advance and then used as a reference during each new and remarkable phase of the baby's very early life.

Looking after a new baby is an incredible responsibility and one to which society thrusts enormous pressure and support onto the shoulders of the baby's mother. Armin Brott has produced a book that helps to give focus to the father's role and is an excellent introduction to the development of a baby and what it is the man can do to help. Being specifically written for men makes New Father an appealing read. There are issues that women simply do not often face, and the language tone strikes just the right balance between fact and assurance.

Each month of the baby's first year is given a chapter. This approach works excellently because it is hard to remember everything in one go and a revisit to the month in question is a useful aide memoir. Through most of the year, the development of the baby is pretty much in line the features Brott lays out but of course it becomes slightly harder to match the features described as baby's develop at slightly different rates.

In the early going, Brott has hit the target exactly. His description of the emotions and expectations a new father feels seems to be right on the money. It is a truly wonderful experience but it is also one filled with uncertainty. Brott is an excellent companion through the very early days of awe, lifestyle change, and sleep deprivation.

Each chapter starts out with a description of the physical, intellectual, verbal, and emotional/social development of the baby. This bullet-pointed approach is perfect in that it sets out just enough science to give a very clear picture of what it is that is going on with the baby in a way that is easy to digest for a tired new father. Brott also sets out the developments for the other key person involved - the mother. When she is tired, uncomfortable, and under pressure it is easy to understand but hard to be supportive of why she reacts so negatively so often so it is a useful rejoinder to have the mother's perspective briefly highlighted early on in each chapter.

Most of the content of each chapter is dedicated to the role and development of the father and the common occurences that face a new baby such as the medical tests, the sleep patterns, and the new skills a man needs to learn fast. The book is filled with excellent sidebars and test-boxes that cover discrete situations such as vaccines, crawling, and work-life balance. These sidebars cannot possibly be fit into the month that they happen but Brott spaces them out throughout his book so they are easy to spot and can be found again if needed. Brott covers some situations that are frankly distressing and is a useful preparation even for those who don't have to face such situations.

Some of the guidance is a little harder to follow such as determining baby personality from a list. Baby personality type is referred to on a few occasions through the book but this reviewer found it too hard to be able to match the baby's actions to a type.

Still, there are many useful tips and hints through the book such as types of toys that work well and how to deal with the baby's grandparents. There are also plenty of tips about dealing with the mother and those sections are ok. The section on why the man is pestering the mother for sex shortly after she has given birth and his in pain, incredibly tired, and physically at her worst didn't make a huge amount of sense. Another section about sexuality is just unpleasant. However, it is a real positive that this Brott discusses things that most men wouldn't want to talk about and answers questions that men are not likely to want to ask.

The original edition of this book was published in the US. The translation across to British English is pretty good. References to government agencies and places to find information have been changed appropriately. It doesn't always work - cricket nets are not the same as baseball nets for instance but in the main it makes perfect sense from a non-US perspective. There are some cultural features that seep through the writing and suggest the part of the world Brott comes from and his own background in particular in the relationship with women. It is unfortunate that Brott doesn't deal with the harder aspects of the relationship with the mother during the first year of the baby's birth - Brott tends to suggest that the man just needs to be more understanding and that doesn't quite cut it in an incredibly intense year from this father's perspective.

Overall, this is the best book for new fathers currently on the market. It is extremely well written and designed to be accessible and interesting for men. It covers plenty of key facts and pieces of information, it explains some of what is really going on, and it offers advice in a refreshingly male-centric way. As new fathers we aren't likely to be either offered or to ask for advice - Armin Brott fills enough of that gap to give the new father enough confidence in what he is doing and to become a positive force in the new baby's life. ( )

This is one of the first child care books written for men. It is full of good information and suggestions. ( )

Not many child care/pregnancy books are written especially for fathers; Armin Brott brought us the first of this subgenre. It is refreshing as a new father to have a book that addresses my needs and emotional experience. I don’t have to edit the text in my head, as when I’m reading books written for women. I love how he goes month-by-month throughout the first year of child development, covering all of the developmental and emotional milestones of the child, the mother, and the father. That’s a nice touch. It let me know what I was feeling was normal, and what to expect the next month. I owe a little debt of gratitude, thanks Armin. ( )

Even though I wasn't going to be a dad, I read this while pregnant with my son. Loads of great advice. ( )