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Loading... The Rules(TM): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Rightby Ellen FeinSeries: The Rules (1)
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will love Sign up for LibraryThing to find out whether you'll like this book. This is a book of rules for women to follow - women who want to meet and marry Mr. Right. The basic concept is to let the man take the lead - and don't make him your whole world. Be a busy, happy person; be your OWN person apart from your guy. Many modern women roll their eyes at some of the rules listed here. They say The Rules are silly - why can't a woman pursue her man? It's the 2000's for crying out loud! However, I think the ideas in this book are beneficial to women if applied correctly. If you follow the rules in this book you will be protecting yourself from a great deal of heartbreak. There's a chapter in here about friendship as well, not just romance. Many women (myself included) give WAY too much in our relationships and end up feeling hurt and used. This book helps us to give the most effort to those in our lives who have shown they truly love us. ( )If all you want to do is catch a husband, then this is the book for you. If you want a true, loving relationship of equals, run in the other direction, now! The book's advice is to essentially not really get to know the true self of the man in your life before fully and totally committing to him. If you've only had 10-minute phone conversations with the guy and have only seen him once a week, how can you really know whether you two are deeply compatible? They seem to think that as long as he proposes to you, you have it made. Supposedly, staying "mysterious" will make him treat you like a delicate flower and will prevent him from abusing you, but old-fashioned notions behind The Rules never prevented abuse --- the opposite is probably true. Essentially, their strategy is acting your way into a relationship; they have a book for after you get married, but acting one's way through life is not something everyone wants, even if that snags them a husband. Maybe The Rules are great for "catching and holding" a man, but there's no way to know whether or not that man happens to be right for you. That's the crux of the problem with this book: it assumes that the best possible outcome is always a marriage. The mindset is similar to the mindset of traditional societies in that marriage is viewed as the best alternative for a woman, without a thought to her compatibility with the man. Not once does the book talk about how much you like a man being a factor in whether or not to exact a commitment from him. (And no, I am not bitter and single. I am in a committed relationship and on track towards a marriage.) Just another desperate attempt at trying to save my marriage. It failed -- the attempt and the marriage. Many people dislike this book. They hate it with a passion. "Why should I do all these things?" they ask of "The Rules" listed in the book. "What if I don't WANT to have long hair, or cut phone conversations short, or look glamorous all the time?" The response (brutal, yes) is "Do you have a husband?" And the answer is almost always "No." This book is a guide to finding "Mr. Right" - and getting him to propose to you. It's not a guide for living a self-fulfilled, independent, confident life. It's not for anyone who wants to make her own decisions despite of what a man might think. No, it's for the woman who wants a man to love and take care of her and never cheat on her. Although I don't plan on ever using this "Rules" for anything, it is an interesting read and look into the psychology behind "capturing the heart of Mr. Right." 1.97 no reviews | add a review
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(retrieved from Amazon Fri, 24 Apr 2009 07:58:20 -0400)
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