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Pleasuring the Pirate (Leisure Historical…
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Pleasuring the Pirate (Leisure Historical Romance)

by Emily Bryan

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Rbrs#2

I'm deeply embarrassed. I read this slightly smutty Romance for the express purpose of laughing at it. I've read a couple other Romances that I had no problem smirking at and was wondering why I was feeling a little uneasy at the start of this one. This passage was a small pop of realization: In the circle of Gabriel's arms, Jacquelyn might be anyone she wished. A lady of noble birth, someone's beloved, someone's naughtiest dream, or all three at once. Escapism! I understand that completely. I read sci-fi and fantasy for a long time for the same reasons I imagine many women read Romances. I could imagine I was someone else, problems would arise but faced down, and the end would be happy or satisfactorily conclusive. I think when I previously read books like this, it was without the deliberate purpose of making fun, a pure sort of teasing. This time, I felt like a big old meanie.* I'm sorry, Romance-readers and Romance-genre. I did view you as being all about open legs but got a lesson in open minds instead.

But. I have a couple bones to pick with this particular book. The title is an exaggeration. This is hardly a pirate novel (heh, thought I would be going after the 'pleasuring' part?). Our hero, Gabriel, is introduced as a pardoned former-pirate and the majority of the book takes place firmly on land. He has a loyal former-pirate sidekick for pirate flavoring and a pirate ship appears within the last 10 pages...I felt cheated. More pirate! And shouldn't one of the fantasy buttons being pushed be a hero who listens to the heroine talk, a hero who can't wait to listen to the heroine? If that was the author's intention, it wasn't expressed all that well...at all. There was one winner of a line, where the hero says something about preferring to 'rut her blind' rather than 'be talked to death.' Not okay.

*I've got to lance this boil – c'mon book! A couple of these situations are too silly to be read. So Jacquelyn is supposed to teach our hero Gabriel enough manners to catch a wealthy wife…and of course proper kissing must be one of the lessons. Bwaahahahahaa! Also, Jacquelyn gets cold after exploring hidden passages with Gabriel and accepts his offer to warm up 'Viking-style,' in the nude, which leads to breathing on her cold bits and toe-sucking...bwahahahaaaahaa! And, certain words and phrases just stabbed into my memory for no good reason, maybe because they're not commonly used?, but these will always make me giggle: throbbing vulva (used 2x!), feral male growl (um, get the tranq gun?), splay. Oh, oh, oh, also!, there was a creepy pedophiliac angle, where the oldest niece's burgeoning bosom was described a few times by the uncle/hero and the villain...12 year old's bosom, ew!

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A side note, on the domination of romance on gr:

One of the gr features I enjoy is the Top Reviews, where reviews that have received the highest votes in the week/month/year/all time are listed. I realize that not all the best reviews are listed for a myriad of reasons, but it's generally a quick and easy way of seeing great reviews. Last week, before the current "this week" listing, I noticed that one Romance book seemed to fill half the list. I wish Romance was separated out, but I do admit that most of the Romance ladies write long and thoughtful reviews (I think, my interests don't lie that way so I don't pay much attention to them, but they're long at any rate). What especially caught my eye about this book was that a number of one-liner, undetailed, meaningless 5-star reviews were on this Top Reviews list. Also, most had the same number of votes. Very suspicious. Turns out, they were the same 13 voters. This one had just a slightly different list of voters. BOOO!!!

Update: That book was the subject of some drama! As far as I can gather, the author attacked a negative review and was subsequently removed from Goodreads. Could all the mysterious voters be connected to this??? Who knew reading was such a spectator sport! Thank you, gr, for livening up the workday. Hug. ( )
  EhEh | Apr 3, 2013 |
My Rating: A+

My Review:

Oh! I can't express how much I loved this book. I read it in a day and couldn't get enough of it.

One of the best parts about this book was the humor. It wasn't a forced type of punch line, humor. But mostly sweet and genuine. There are 5 characters that will steal your hearts, the hero's nieces. I've always loved children in romance novels but this was done so well, I was almost more in love with them than the hero and heroin.

But, the main characters were the most impressive. Gabriel is a strong and passionate hero, but he doesn't have that dark broody mean streak that many historical hero's have. And Jacquelyn is a kind and loving heroin, who has real issues, instead of the superficial ones that usually makes ones eyes roll.

All the characters (even the secondary ones) are well rounded and the story itself was obviously well thought out. I can't wait to read the next book by Miss Bryan.

I highly recommend this to all romance lovers out there. ( )
  mybooksmylove | Aug 8, 2009 |
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0843961333, Mass Market Paperback)

All it took was a flick of the wrist. A deft touch of his sword point and Drake the Dragon bared her bound breasts. Then with the heat of his hands along her skin, he bared her soul. All the wantonness Jacquelyn had denied herself as a famous courtesan's daughter, all the desire she'd held in her heart while running Lord Gabriel Drake's estate flooded through her at his touch. Not that she could let a bloody pirate know it.

Gabriel may have left his seafaring days behind, but his urge to plunder was stronger than ever. Especially if it involved full, ripe lips and a warm, soft body. Unfortunately, he needed Jacquelyn's help, not her maidenhead, to learn how to behave properly toward a lady so he could marry and produce an heir. Yet Mistress Jack was the only woman he wanted, no matter what her heritage. And everyone knows what a pirate wants, a pirate takes....

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:24:08 -0400)

What a pirate wants, a pirate takes. All the wantonness Jacquelyn had denied herself as a famous courtesan's daughter flooded through her at Gabriel's touch. However, he was a pirate, and he needed her help to learn how to behave properly to a lady.

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