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Self Matters : Creating Your Life from the…

Self Matters : Creating Your Life from the Inside Out

by Phillip C. McGraw

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Showing 5 of 5
Outside of a single book about.a behavioral disorder I was interested (due to someone close having an issue), I have never in my life read an actual self-help book. But, I was in a thrift store, saw this book multiple times over a month or so, and I liked Dr. Phil episodes in general, so I thought, “Why not?” And gave it a shot.

After wrapping up my 300+ page reading session on this, I can say that I am not a better person because of what Dr. Phil talked about, but I can see some value for some people who may read it. As a largely logical and “at-ease-with-myself” person, I would say the major issues I’ve dealt with in my life were confronted 5, 10, 15 or 20+ years ago and I’d say am an all-arounded fairly-adjusted individual. I’ve got a weight issue as I age that I’d like to work on, but other than that there’s no life-altering/stumbling block Dr. Phil had to address, and for the things I have messed up on, I’ve mentally (and verbally) addressed and have been aware of these things for years.

So, who is the book for, ideally? I’d say women who have abuse-related trauma from childhood and they never have spoken about it to anyone. This book won’t cure them, but it may help them understand what-caused-what if the exercises and questionairre portions are done. I only filled out the first few, and read over the remaining ones when I saw the book wasn’t aimed at me.

The real problem with Dr. Phil’s shotgun-blast approach to helping is that he can’t really do that. He may mention a person he knows having interviewing or office problems, but that’s for a mere paragraph before moving on. I think the book would have been far more effective if he had a half-dozen or more lengthy case studies of people, their treatment, their obstacles, and how they overcome things. Instead you get a few blurbs of people he treated and those maybe last a couple pages.

Additionally, Dr. Phil’s writing style is a bit strange. He namedrops “God” a lot but then writes some PG-13/R-rated stuff (even if he’s just repeating others’ words) and his focus on strange terms like “Authentic Self,” “Tapes” and “Locus of Control” seem as goofy as the terms like “inner self” he criticizes early on for having no meaning/being confusing. You also get the sense he thinks those who think success magically are successful (he routinely belittles others’ job/lifestyle choices). Pretty sure it’s no surprise that a doctor’s son would also become a doctor (or some high-profile worker) simply due to the good college education his Dad provided. So Phil isn’t on the mark when he speaks of that stuff.

One more thing — this entire book could have been 1/3 the length and been just as effective, so I do think it drags on far longer than necessary. ( )
  scottcc | Oct 19, 2018 |
Great Book ( )
  MaryAnn12 | Apr 4, 2013 |
I started this book, but didn't get very far before I felt a bit battered by Dr. Phil's constant "in your face" style. (And I'm not a wimp when it comes to self-development). I just found this repetetive and dull, like some of his other writing (and what he says on television, too, from what I remember). I did some of the exercises, but ultimately decided this wasn't the right book for me. ( )
1 vote herebedragons | Feb 10, 2007 |
Change yourself and change the world. True up to a point and if it gets you out of a poor marriage, bad job etc then go for it. The real test is making the bad marriage work or accepting that’s poor is what you have to settle for as nothing is perfect.

Can’t say I found the book useful. It’s along the line of those programmes that sell your house such as House Doctor. No matter the house the advice is the same. Declutter, think the buyer wants to project themselves into the house, make it light and feel roomy etc. This says be honest with yourself and others. Be authentic. Take responsibility! Never really deals with that failure may because you are not up to it or because you are not going to succeed while in that job with that boss and you cant get another job. Guess for me the question is what do you do when you have to face that life is a f****p some times and no being positive is going to change that?

Oh I should add I Love the show but then I am still suffering withdrawal symptoms from the only national radio agony phone in ( say like in Sleepless in Seattle) with Anna Raeburn which went off the air 10 years ago! ( )
  ablueidol | Nov 5, 2006 |
Interesting ideas. Will have to think about a lot of the ways of change he proposes. ( )
  wyvernfriend | Sep 24, 2005 |
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Book description
In Leef voor jezelf daagt Dr. Phil je uit op zoek te gaan naar je 'ware ik'; de persoon die je altijd al had willen zijn, maar die je nooit durfde te worden. Dit boek leert je hoe je je ware ik kunt vinden.
De onomwonden adviezen en duidehjke taal waarmee Dr. Phil McGraw bekend is geworden, zijn in dit boek opnieuw aanwezig. Met behulp van nuttige tests krijgje antwoord op belangrijke levensvragen. Wat voor invloed heeft je familie opje huidige functioneren? Besteed je eigenlijk wel genoeg energie aan je ware zelf? Een zeer vooruitstrevend boek over zelfbeeld en eigenwaarde.
Dr. Phil McGraw werd bekend als adviseur in de Oprah Winf rey Show. Intussen heeft hij zijn eigen tv-show. Hij is de auteur van Leer te leuen, Red je relatie!, Voel je goed in je lijf en Gezin eerst.
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 074322423X, Hardcover)

Your life has a root core that, once understood, unlocks a powerful force to create your life the way it was meant to be, the way you want and need it to be. Key questions and an amazingly clear "map" are now at your fingertips to begin your journey to "Live by Design." These are questions that, with the help of this book, you can answer and bring into action-oriented focus: What are the ten most defining moments of your life? What are the seven most critical choices you have made to put you on your current path? Who are the five most pivotal people in your world and how have they shaped you?

Identifying and working with these key elements are at the heart of Dr. Phillip C. McGraw's latest work, Self Matters, and soon they will be at the heart of your own new work: you.

Through his books, McGraw has changed the lives of millions. In introducing the world to his matter-of-fact, tell-it-like-it-is philosophy of life, Dr. Phil, as he is known to his legions of fans, has put an end to the "everyone's a victim" attitude that had taken hold of our culture. Published in over twenty-five countries, and with millions of books sold, his two number one bestsellers, Life Strategies and Relationship Rescue, forced readers to take a serious look at the excuses they had so long been clinging to as to why they were not happy, not successful, and not enjoying their one chance at living.

Now, Dr. Phil takes those lessons a great leap further and explores one of the most challenging questions facing us all: When you look in the mirror, who is truly hiding beneath that face? Instead of taking a surface look at the way we live our lives, Dr. Phil demystifies how your self-concept came to be and gives a nuts-and-bolts approach to creating a new plan for living and, in turn, for discovering the real you.

In this groundbreaking work, Dr. Phil challenges you to find your "authentic self" -- that person you once were before life took its toll. It is you at your greatest, most fulfilled, most real moment. It is the person you have always wanted to be, but were too distracted, busy, or scared to become. Instead, you have created a "fictional self" -- taking on the identity of who you believe you are supposed be, the person people tell you you are. The incongruence between these two selves is what leads you to feel that your life is incomplete, unbalanced, and altogether more difficult than it really should be.

The good news is it no longer needs to be that way. By using the plan set forth in Self Matters, Dr. Phil helps you to demystify your self-concept and learn how to reclaim your authentic self. In evaluating your life by only the facts, you can learn to think beyond the excuses and fears that have masked the person you have always wanted to be.

Self Matters is one of the most forward-thinking works on self-concept and self-esteem ever published. For the first time, an author tells it how it is and, in the process, teaches us all how to live the lives we have always wanted but prevented ourselves from living. We get only one chance in this world, and now, Dr. Phil shows all how to make the most of it.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:12:50 -0400)

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Dr. Phil McGraw shows how to find and become one's true self as opposed to one's "fictional" self, discussing the defining moments, critical choices, and pivotal people who shape one's perspective.

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