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So You Want To Be President? by John Warner
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So You Want To Be President?

by John Warner

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I'm really a-hopin that soon more folks pick this book up besides me--who got it for free--and the author, though as time passes I know damn well this book'll never sell and become forgotten by the few readers it had, when no one will know what the hell Warner is ever talking about unless you're growing up today in America and a little savvy to politics. This fact has led me to lower the rating given a tiny bit, see, all the jokes poking fun at actors/actresses and foolish political commentator millionaires, questions asking about NOW, current gas prices, that sort of thing. He actually acknowledges that upcoming pages may no longer contain truths by the time the book hits stores (i.e., shit dealin with Iowa/New Hampshire; black or female presidents, etcetcetc). I'm really goin on far too long here.

What I'm trying to say is that I laughed reading this book more loudly and obnoxiously than ever before (from a book...actually from anything). So You Want to Be President?: Find Out If You Have the Ego, Bankroll, and Moral Flexibility to Lead the Nation and Take on the World would have been a better piece accompanying an issue of McSweeney's, where Warner is editor for the Internet Tendency, and would have gotten many more readers than being released under his own (I imagine?) Tow Books company.

Half of SYWTBP? is made up of questionaires meant to teach you essential skills to become the next President of the United States of America, like how to give meaningless replies to questions on hot issues (abortion! social security!) that sets you firmly in the middle, making you a doughface like ol' Pierce or Buchanan, or some silly lines ("People should refer to marijuana as 'wacky tobacky'") set to set you up as either a Republican or Democract or the unlikely place of somewhere in between. I still think back and giggle on the beforeandafter pics for how the presidency aged these rugged and handsome men like JFK, the string of possible campaign logos, and those hidden-image puppies.

...

This book comes recommended. Pick it up, but quickly! (Hey, it's pretty cheap for a trade paperback--$10. Did I also mention how nice it looks?)

F.V.: Six-Zero.

[Warner + me 4 evah]

[Holy beans, someone else bought it! On a side note, I'm acknowledging that this is by far my worst review, but I promised John I'd write it, and even though he didn't and doesn't care, it felt necessary as payment for a free book. Maybe some day I'll re-write it, and not have so much trouble expressing my opinion, choosing my words, even figuring out what I really want to say.] ( )
3 vote alaskayo | Apr 16, 2008 |
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