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Stop Being Pushed Around!: A Practical Guide…
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Stop Being Pushed Around!: A Practical Guide

by Lynda Bevan

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Stop being Pushed Around (A Practical Guide) by Lynda Bevan
This is the 3rd book in the 10 step empowerment series.
I loved to learn more about being a “victim.” Are you a victim? Does Fear control you? How do you become a victim? Do you want to change? The process of change takes time and patience with yourself and with others. This book gives you a guide written by experienced therapists for solving real life problems, once and for all. If you feel you are a “victim: or living with one this book answers all of your questions.
• What victims “thinking process involves.”
• How to stop being a victim and go to the role of survival.
• Identifying how you become a victim and how to you can change your thinking and behavior.
This book is necessary to relive your past in order to find out how and why you become a victim. Then you can permantely heal. You will learn how to go from being emotionally dependant on your partner to becoming emotionally independent.
I really learned all I wanted to know about being a victim and how to get out of it. I think most women feel like a victim at some point in their lives. This book will help me as well as you to break free, finally.
I would like to thank Review The Book for my copy in exchange for my honest review.
© 2012 Jackie Paulson all rights reserved ( )
  jackie1966 | Jun 8, 2012 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
'Stop Being Pushed Around!' is a great place to start taking back your life as your own. Concentrating primarily on one's major relationship, with a short section on the workplace, the book offers many examples of how to improve your relationships which can be applied to various situations. Discussing what constitutes being a victim, how people become victims, and how fear prevents people from escaping their victim status. Examples of behaviors, negative and positive to a demanding person, such as simple silence, not reacting so the would-be controller will finally run out of steam, and only starting honest conversations during quiet and peaceful times in the relationship.
I found it to be a starting off point for anyone who wants to take control of their life.
  sbrush | May 11, 2011 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
A lot of information in a small package. A quick glance at this thin (128 page) books shows a lot of lists. But while it might appear to be a quick read, there is a lot of information in those pages. It is intended for people who are emotionally dependent on a partner, but many of the situations can also apply to relationships outside the family, particularly those at work. Easy to read, there is a nice balance between lists, examples and practical advice. ( )
  astraplain | Jun 29, 2008 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
Based on the title, I had jumped to the conclusion that this was a guide to greater assertiveness. It actually turns out that the focus is on dysfunctional relationships where one party bullies or intimidates the other. I've never been in a relationship like the ones described in the book, so on that level I didn't find it all that interesting. I suspect someone who has been in that situation would find the beginning of the book, where the dynamics of an abusive relationship are described, more compelling than I did.

The book then moves on to describing the constructive steps that a person can take to effect change in their lives. I found that part of the book more captivating, since much of the advice can apply to situations outside that of an abusive relationship.

The book is a practical guide to dealing with dysfunctional relationships. There's nothing earth-shattering here, but the authors covers aspects of handling issues of being bullied in a pretty thorough and well-structured manner. ( )
  CarlosMcRey | May 17, 2008 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
As a former social worker with front-line experience dealing with high-risk, high-needs clientele, I confess to being sceptical about the value of many self-help books that are routinely introduced to the market. While authors in this genre no doubt have every good intention, I find their works are too often long on theory (very loosely defined) and short on application, with little in the way of practical, viable information that their target audience can use in trying to turn their lives around.

Having said that, Lynda Bevan’s book, Stop Being Pushed Around!: A Practical Guide, is a trove of sensible, down-to-earth information. As the third book in a series focusing on personal empowerement issues, Stop Being Pushed Around! lives up to its name as a truly practical guide. Aimed at individuals who feel helplessly trapped in and manipulated by their life circumstances, it offers clear, concise steps on how to stop being a victim and effectively counter the manipulative, intimidating or bullying behaviours of others.

At a scant 110 pages, the book delves straight into the subject with little preamble. It is refreshingly free of hype and makes no claims of unearthing any radically new insights. Rather, its strength lies in Bevan's ability to distill the essence of proven strategies and translating them to a lay audience in plain language.

The book is organized into ten chapters ranging from the identifying traits of victims and controllers, through the formation (and misguided appeal and rewards) of victimhood, to the short- and long-term relational change process. The strategies offered are realistic and build incrementally, one upon the next, in helping people identify and understand their own emotional and behavioural patterns and blocks. Throughout the book, the advice is resolutely practical in tone and remains focused on improving the position of the victim in the relationship. Notably, the author makes no assumptions that effecting permanent change in the controlling partner is guaranteed by following the recommended steps. While offering useful strategies for temporarily diverting or diffusing controlling behaviour, the emphasis is on self-change in (re)gaining control of one’s life: how to deal with fear, self-criticism and self-sabotage; how to develop better communication and problem-solving techniques between partners; how to become more self-reliant, more self-sufficient, more realistic, and more accountable and responsible for oneself. The book’s underlying message is that only by empowering oneself can personal transformation come about, and with it, the know-how to better manage relationships with others.

Bevan’s stepped approach to moving from victimhood to emotional independence, while aimed primarily at those in long-term personal relationships, could apply equally as well in other arenas of life---regrettably, something that is only touched upon in an brief appendix on workplace harrassment and bullying. Had the book been broader in both depth and scope to address how one could deal with intimidation and coercion in a variety of settings, Bevan could have garnered a wider audience for her work. Nevertheless, this book remains a handy primer for those who currently find themselves trapped in and wanting respite from toxic family relationships. ( )
2 vote EAG | May 2, 2008 |
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 193269045X, Paperback)

Something is not quite right and you're not sure what it is... Are you getting pushed around? Do you feel you need to do everything asked of you by your partner or anyone else? Do you feel you have to fulfill all your partner's needs no matter what? Are you frightened of being unable to survive without your partner? Are you picked on and undermined if you question your partner on any issue? Is your self-esteem low? Have you lost your confidence? Do you remember a time when you could think for yourself and deal with most of the things that life throws at you? Do you ask yourself, "where have I gone wrong and how can I put it right?" Do you ask yourself, "where is the person who could deal with the daily problems of relationships and life, gone, or indeed have I not yet learned to think and act for myself?"

If you answered YES to any of these questions, then this book is for you.

Stop Being Pushed Around! is an essential tool in assisting you to change your position from being emotionally dependent on your partner to becoming emotionally independent. It will assist you in changing from being emotionally inadequate to becoming emotionally adequate.

This book will enable you to become the person you once were or it can change you to becoming the person you have always wanted to be.

Book #3 in the 10-Step Empowerment Series
From Loving Healing Press (www.LovingHealing.com)

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:24:41 -0400)

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