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Moving Your Aging Parents: Fulfilling their…

Moving Your Aging Parents: Fulfilling their Needs and Yours Before,…

by Nancy Wesson

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2011515,329 (4.17)6



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This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
I am so sorry that it took so long for me to read this book! My mother, who recently turned 99, had already moved into her apartment at the retirement village and I thought the book would be good for the next move, the expected move to the nursing home sometime in the future. However, this book would have been a perfect how-to book for her move from the family home. I wish my brothers and I had read this book before her move.

Now I am moving from my home of the last 25 years, downsizing into what I expect will be my home until I need additional care. So what I expected to be a reference book for my mother's move has become a reference book for me. I have a lot of stuff and it is hard to let go of so many things that have memories. This book has given me pointers on letting go, deciding what is important, and structuring my new home based on my changing needs. Ms. Wesson reminds us to treat these changes for our parents (and in my case, for myself) with respect and understanding. What an important message.

I recommend this book. It is well thought out, easy to read and has lots of really good information. ( )
  xorscape | Dec 10, 2009 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
This was a good book, and it covered what I think are all the important issues - identifying their needs, coping with their emotional issues about moving, deciding what to keep and what to get rid of, selling the family home, and trying to do all this while respecting their dignity and individuality. What this doesn't cover, and what I wanted it to cover, was how to change MY parents' minds about moving out of their home and near to one of their children in the first place! My parents really are too elderly and sick to be living in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere with the only hospital 45 minutes away, in an area where it snows a lot, where the nearest grocery or drug store is also 45 minutes away, with no reasonable bus service, no nursing homes (except 2 1/2 hours away) and no system of home health care in their area for the elderly. They chose the worst possible place to retire unless they were both in perfect health. HOWEVER, that does not make them even remotely willing to move, as this is the house they have been buidling for 45 years. What I wanted from this book it was unable to give me. It does give advice on how to start the conversation about moving for safety and health reasons, etc, but there really is no magic formula for getting them to agree in the first place. In the end, I have decided to respect their choices for independence over my preference of safety. I wish it were different, but I can't make it so. ( )
  bbkim | Nov 23, 2009 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
This is an excellent book for the "sandwich generation," those whose parents need to downsize due to illness or finances or loss of partner. It is something that should be read before decisions are made and supplies questions that should be asked and considerations that need to be addressed. Moving a parent or set of parents from a home of their own to another city or a smaller apartment, much less a nursing or assisted living situation, has its own unique set of emotional and physical disasters and joys unique to that situation. Also, it is a situation for which we have not been trained, and for which we have no precedent other than friends that have been through it. There are too few books out there, and this is the best I have found in covering both the needs of the aging parents, and the needs of the children or caregivers. ( )
  Book2Dragon | Sep 16, 2009 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
My mother has Stage 3 Alzheimer's and lives with my brother. Within the next two years we will have to face moving her to a facility where she can receive the kind of care that my brother and I will no longer be able to give to her. I wish I had read this before we moved my mother from her one-bedroom apartment in a small town to a big house in a big city. There is so much more to this book than just suggestions about the physical move - there is attention to the happiness and comfort of your parent and as well as discussion of the "depression era" mindset, which I found helpful in understanding my mother's need to keep things like string, plasticware and paper bags. And there is a section for caretakers on remembering to be good to themselves. During this - inevitable - upcoming move, my brother and I will be more prepared for having read this book and won't make some of the same mistakes we made during her initial move to live with him. A helpful book and great reference tool that readers will return to again and again. ( )
  OzzieJello | Aug 5, 2009 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
It isn’t something I like to think about, but I know it’s unlikely that both of our surviving parents will be able to live out their lives in the homes they currently occupy. My mother-in-law is battling fairly serious eye problems, and one day she may be blind. Where will she live then? And what will become of all her “stuff”? She’s already done two major down-sizings -- first from a three-story 19th century Big House worthy of a Southern plantation (and containing remnants of three generations of family) to a 20th century ranch, and then 20 years later to a two-bedroom apartment. Still, she’s managed to keep a lot of possessions and we have to assume the things she hasn’t yet let go will be very difficult for her to give up. So I looked forward to reading [Moving Your Aging Parents] for some practical advice on how to deal with what I’m treating as an inevitability. I was a little put off at first by the author’s profession as a Feng Shui consultant, but she’s also a professional organizer, and she seems to know whereof she speaks here. The book is full of concrete suggestions for handling the physical as well as the emotional aspects of a move, with very little new age nonsense. (I’m as spiritual as the next person, but I confess to skipping the bits about dealing with “predecessor energy”, and “cleansing the Chakra”---just not the type of help I’m looking for here.) The chapters that explain how to assess an older person’s capabilities and needs for assistance are especially forthright, including basic information about common problems faced by older individuals, such as loss of vision or hearing, the early signs of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease. Much of the advice is applicable even if you don’t have elderly parents to move…how to “declutter” your home; deciding what possessions have real value to you, and which ones you’re keeping for the wrong reasons; making a house attractive to potential buyers; packing and unpacking logically; defusing emotional triggers in conversations with loved ones. As with any self-help book, so much of this is common sense, but having it all spelled out in one place is valuable, and the author of [Moving Your Aging Parents] has done an excellent job of laying it all out, complete with suggested activities at the end of many of the chapters, designed to help organize the many tasks associated with life’s big changes. ( )
  laytonwoman3rd | Jul 28, 2009 |
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Will you be ready when it's time...? Whether whittling down to the essentials for a parent moving into a room or two or downsizing for ourselves, ignoring the spirit and basing decisions on health and safety alone could have devastating results. In this hope filled book you will learn how to: Identify needs and desires to create a quality new life Cope with the Depression Era mind-set Create emotionally sustaining environments to nurture the soul Ready and sell the family home Ask the RIGHT questions to help divest of treasures Manage your energy and spirit throughout the process Determine when it's time to consider alternative placement Perform the ordinary in a non-ordinary way -- allowing you to preserve and heal family relationships.… (more)

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Loving Healing Press

2 editions of this book were published by Loving Healing Press.

Editions: 1932690549, 1615999396

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