I enjoyed the ease of reading this book and it gave me much to think about regarding my relationship with my mother and why we don't always see eye to eye. I also think that there are ideas in this book that could apply to relationships with other women or sisters. ( )

This book was interesting, even fascinating.
I love reading about why people think and act the way they do, and Tannen has made some amazing discoveries about why mothers and daughters interact the way they do. She also has some helpful suggestions. I enjoyed this book and I learned some things as well. ( )

I have heard this book called Tannen's "least scholarly" to date. That is a shame. Certainly, this book does not delve into the specifics and technical details of linguistic analysis as much as her others do, but it does not pretend to. Tannen starts out explaining why she writes books that anyone can read. She calls herself a sociolinguist and then relegates the nuts and bolts of how she does her analysis to the background, concentrating instead on what the analysis means. And she does so with an aim--to help people understand a very common, and often contentious, relationship in a deeper and more loving way. Her penchant for the "aha factor" (if it's true, it will make you say "aha!") is certainly at work here, as any woman who reads this will recognise aspects of herself and her own family relationships. This is an emotionally moving work and one that acknowledges that the way people actually talk, which so many linguists prize their analyses of, is not the way we have to talk, and that by understanding what we do, we could in fact choose to do things differently. This is discourse analysis with a purpose: to benefit others, to bring people closer, to help the average person see things in another light. If that is not scholarly, that is a shame. Scholarship would do well to care as much about human relationships as Tannen clearly does. ( )

Relies a little too much on the daughter's point of view. ( )

Replete with examples, the author helps to identify common patterns in communication between mothers and daughters, the patterns that cause oh so much friction in daily communication. Those hot button topics? They're in here - weight, hair, clothes. Those conversations that start off bad and escalate - predictably - into an argument? They're in here too. It's difficult to read this book without seeing it through the veil of my own interactions with my mother, however the book also makes me appreciate my mother even more. It also gives me tools to defuse those hot button conversations, should I be so rational as to use them. Well worth reading if you're a daughter or a mother, or even if you're simply caught in the crossfire. ( )

You're Wearing That? should have been a long article instead of a book. The premise that humans, especially female humans, often say one thing while meaning another, does not require hundreds pages of case studies to prove. I found myself groaning, and even skimming at times.
There were a few belly laughs that make it worth the slog, though. ( )

All mothers and daughters should read this book! It is hysterical! A great reminder how mothers should really "bite their tongues" most of the time!

Is there any relationship as volitile, emotionally charged, and important as the mother/daughter relationship? Tannen explores how the interactions between mother and daughter is different than other female interactions (or male female interactions, which she has covered previously).
My mother and I (thankfully) are not as bad as most of the examples in this book, but it still helps me understand how what I say can be interpreted incorrectly, even by the woman who knows me best.
This would also be a good book for fathers to read, to help them understand the strange relationship his wife and daughter have. ( )

http://sewfishee.livejournal.com/2006... ( )