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Loading... Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Liveby Martha Beck
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Beck (author of Expecting Adam) admits that repairing a damaged emotional compass and setting out on such a vital journey--which often involves painful realizations and changes--"has all the combined attractions of suicide and childbirth." But the payoff, she concludes, is a love affair with real life. To that end, she walks readers through a lengthy exercise to evaluate their current lifestyle's pleasures and pains, teaches the process of listening to the body for directional cues, describes how to extract "soul shrapnel" (healing all those nasty, self-defeating emotional wounds), and provides an intriguing "Map of Change" to achieve an authentic life. Beck's impressive knowledge, her engaging (if somewhat irreverent) voice, and her ability to parse this scary process into achievable steps make her a new champion in the self-help arena. --Liane Thomas
(retrieved from Amazon Fri, 24 Apr 2009 07:58:18 -0400)
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Here are some of my favorite passages:
...when you relax the thinking mind, the rule-bound, anxiety-ridden social self, you are not simply stopping everything. Taoists believe that there is an immense benevolent force flowing through all reality, and that each of us—at least our essences—are part of that force. Once you’re aligned with this force (The Tao, or “Way”), you’re like a surfer on the perfect wave; you move forward with tremendous, power, but the only thing you have to do is go up when the water goes up, and down when the water goes down.
This may be my favorite all time quote:
Babies show up knowing the truth: Each of them is an utterly lovable, beautiful creature, with a unique mission in life and all the equipment necessary to fulfill that mission. If the people around them support and nourish their essential selves, their social selves never have to disengage from this reality to serve the social group. This can be true for anyone, even people who appear to have a lot going against them.
We talk about what people will think, well who ARE those people?
The social self will turn virtually anybody into a generalized other, given two conditions: exposure and repetition. This is how you got the Everybody you have today. At some point, you were exposed to conditions and people that sent a powerful message about you. Then this message was repeated over and over and over. Sometimes the repetition came from outside the self:…Whether or not this happened, at some point your own social self took on the job of repeating insults and discouragement.
…I say that just because your broken arm isn’t as serious as someone else’s gut wound, that doesn’t mean your injury isn’t excruciating or doesn’t require attention. If you want to help the Indian children, or make the world a better place in any other way, you have start by becoming whole yourself.
People have a much harder time understanding your actions when you go back to school at forty-three because your mind is starving,
As long as a treat is scarce and forbidden, you’re going to feel compulsive and greedy about it.
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