Alternative title: "Too Fucking Stupid to Read". ( )

I was surprised on how quick I read this book. It was absorbing, sensitive, tragic and funny all at the same time. Artie Lange rushes us along through a compilation of various stories that highlight major pinnacles of his life. He shows us the importance of family and the lingering side effects the death of a close family member can have on a person. We are exposed to hauntings of various chronic addictions such as food, gambling and drugs. There is even a touching story here about his falling in love with a Brazilian prostitute to whom he lost his virginity. It doesn’t sound very romantic, does it? But I found it that it was written with true emotion. I really felt for Artie during this story, and really feel that he had found his first love.

If you have seen any of Artie’s stand-up comedy, you already know that the book is going to rattle some cages. Artie’s says what he wants to say, without any hot potatoes in his mouth. He often, if not always, communicates in the most abrasive, foul mouthed manner. But that is what makes Artie. He always pulls a little chuckle out of me. A damn good comedian, with a very careless lifestyle that has me wondering how the heck he is still with us. I for one will cherish every minute that he is here, making me laugh. ( )

Audiobook.Artie is a terrific storyteller and has a lot of stories to tell. Some laugh out loud moments and some really sad ones as well. Could write him off as another junkie loser, but there's always more to it than that. Worth listening to just to hear Artie come on and say he had to find some friends to finish narrating because he was in the middle of trying to kick heroin...again. ( )

My first recommendation for this book is to treat it like swimming. Don't eat directly before, during, or after reading it. Lange makes it clear throughout that he is not holding back - and that includes the more unpleasant details.

That being said, I was rather surprised to find I enjoyed this book. Unlike the majority of people who will pick up this book, I really didn't have much of an idea as to who Artie Lange was. I don't listen to the Howard Stern show and I have never seen his movies or his comedy acts. So when I realized that I was about to read about the experiences of a drug addict, I was fully prepared to dislike Lange.

Not to say that I didn't have moments where I would have happily throttled his neck. The sheer amount of frustration that came from reading about Lange's self destructive lifestyle and how it nearly cost him all the success he built was intensely aggravating. I can't even begin to imagine how his friends felt.

And that's the surprising part of this book. There are people who truly care for this man. At first I did not understand it. In these pages I saw a representation of a selfish jerk who didn't deserve a tenth of the success he had achieved. He was destructive, violent, and brought suffering to all those around him.

But as I read through the book, I saw glimpses of a genuine and caring man. For all of his vices, for all the feuds and arguments he has had because of his various addictions, this seems to be a man who bears no ill will to anyone else. He is constantly surprised that he has managed to hold on to both his success and his friends. He has a strong and supportive family who love him dearly. Furthermore, he isn't afraid to own up to the most humiliating and shameful experiences of his life - and once you've read this book you'll understand why I fully believe that Lange was being brutally honest, though slightly self indulgent.

As much as I went into this book expecting to detest everything about Lange, I came out unable to. In fact, I think I kind of like the guy. I am, however, thankful that it was not me who had to pull him constantly from his own messes. Lange's success is, in exceptionally large part, due to the loyalty of his friends and family and they deserve all the kudos that Lange can send their way. One trait of Lange's that find admirable is his willingness to get back up and try again. He falls frequently, but he doesn't tend to stay down. If it wasn't for the fact that his downfalls were so often self inflicted, I would be calling Mr. Lange quite the role model.

I do have trouble identifying with Artie as his internal demons are ones I've never had to face. But his persistence is admirable and the opportunities we are given to see behind his crude facade are heartening. I can't say this book changed my life, though it may encourage others who have faced similar problems in their lives, but it was certainly a worthwhile read. I've read several celebrity biographies and it was lovely to read about a man who is actually grateful for the gifts he has received. That alone makes it refreshing. This book isn't just a story about Lange, it is also about the friends and family who were strong enough to pull him through when he was at his weakest.

I only hope that he succeeds in overcoming his issues and that any setbacks he experiences in his recovery are temporary. ( )

This book is like hanging around a bar for an afternoon and listening to the local "Norm" tell you his life story. A well-practiced storyteller, "Norm" knows how to pace his stories so that they breeze along and hit all the appropriate notes of drama and comedy for full entertainment value. At the time you are amused by the wild tales. Afterwards, it suddenly occurs to you that what you were really hearing was a plea for help from someone who is so desperate for love and attention that he will prostitute his deepest hurts as barroom anecdotes for the amusement of strangers.