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Family Man by Calvin Trillin
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Family Man

by Calvin Trillin

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This book is a collection of 16 essays by Calvin Trillin on the joys and travails of life with children. He has two daughters -- Abigail and Sarah -- and raised them with his wife Alice in Manhattan. (Although raising a family in Manhattan might make it seem like Mr. Trillin is from a rarefied world inaccessible to most of us, I found his writing to be down-to-earth, relatable and his observations about parenting to be fairly universal.) Mr. Trillin is a gifted writer, and I enjoyed reading his thoughts on family life immensely. He has an obvious love for his family, a great eye for detail, and a wonderful sense of humor.

This was my first time reading a book by Calvin Trillin. I'd heard of him and seen quotes by him and realized he was perhaps an important contemporary writer, but I'd never taken the time to read one of his books. I can unequivocally tell you that I will be reading more by Mr. Trillin as I think he might be the kind of writer who could write about virtually anything and I would enjoy reading it.

This isn't a book that begs for an in-depth review. It is an easy, humorous, enjoyable read that documents the author's life with his two daughters and his thoughts on parenting. More than anything, this book made me wish I could live in the Trillin family. Mr. Trillin seems like a wonderful father with an amusing and fun personality. I was particularly drawn to his love of Halloween, his obvious affection for his wife, and the family's dedication to making elaborate home movies. I wanted to grow up in the Trillin household!

While I was reading, I kept marking sections of the book to showcase passages that I think illustrate what a reader can expect in this book. I ended up having so many that I'm just going to go through and pick three or four that will give you the best "feel" for this book.

When our older daughter, Abigail, was four years old, she attended a progressive nursery school in lower Manhattan that was sweet and nurturing and, if I may say so, a little bit earnest. It was the sort of place where teachers would say to a kid who had just attacked another kid, "Use words not hands, dear." (At one point, we all began to wonder exactly what the words for sneaking up behind another kid and pulling her hair might be. All I could think of was something like "I'm a nasty little beast who deserves a good hiding.")

I tried to fulfill the mandate every American has to convince his children that they have a cushy deal compared with the deprivations and tribulations he had to face as a child. At one point, of course, I had to quit telling them that when I was a little boy in Kansas City, my sister, Sukey, and I walked ten miles barefoot through the snow just to get to school every morning. They got old enough to check it out. This is always an awkward transition for a parent -- the onset of what I think of as the age of independent confirmation of data. It seems to come rather suddenly. One moment, your daughters are accepting everything you say without reservation...the next moment, you've got a couple of private eyes in the house.

But we all felt that keeping a dog in the city would be too difficult. That left cats. When the girls were asked why we didn't have one, they always said "Daddy hates cats," to which I always replied, "No, girls, hating cats would be prejudice, and Mommy and I have tried to bring you up to oppose prejudice whenever you encounter it. What might be fair to say is that I have never met a cat I liked."

At the very least, parents wonder whether they should worry. I always found it comforting when I'd come across something I could decide not to worry about. Then I could cross it off the list. When Sarah was little, she had an imaginary friend named Craig Binnger. "Imaginary friends are supposed to have names like Jack or Popo or Tillie-bear," I said to Alice. "How come her friend sounds like a life insurance salesman?" Should we worry about that? No.

About the Author
Calvin Trillin is the author 19 previous books, including American Fried, Travels with Alice, Remembering Denny and Messages from My Father. A long-time staff writer for The New Yorker, he also wrote a column for Time and a weekly poem for The Nation. He was raised in Kansas City, Missouri and lives in New York City.

Final Thoughts
A fun, smart, delightful collection of essays on family life by a gifted writer. I'll definitely be reading more books by Mr. Trillin. Any recommendations for the next one to seek out? ( )
  Jenners26 | May 6, 2009 |
A Father's Day gift from my stepmother, Susan McClanahan.
  wfzimmerman | May 29, 2007 |
Calvin Trillin is a regular contributor to "The New Yorker", and is known as a witty and urbane writer. This book is certainly a fine introduction, being Trillin's take on family life, from the perspective of his own. The sum of his child-rearing advice, he says, is "Try to get one that doesn't spit up. Otherwise, you're on your own." Actually, there is quite a bit of good and funny advice here, the best being the last: "I realized that school plays were invented partly to give parents an easy opportunity to demonstrate their priorities. If they can get off work for the Thursday matinee, I tell them, all the better." ( )
  burnit99 | Feb 24, 2007 |
Family life in Canada, very entertaining. I like Calvin Trillin. ( )
  xtien | Dec 6, 2006 |
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Amazon.com (ISBN 0374153248, Hardcover)

"Handing out advice on family matters is not my game," begins Calvin Trillin in Family Man, and indeed, those in search of practical child-rearing tips would be advised to look elsewhere. What Trillin does have to offer is a series of witty meditations on the art--not the science--of parenthood. Nobody else has written quite so accurately about the debunking genius of small children. And while Trillin conveys the joys and sorrows of family life with his customary drollness, what really gets him going is the high anxiety of being in loco parentis. When, for example, a study reveals that most of our synapses are formed during infancy, the author is nonplused by the scientific breakthrough. He's quick, though, to latch on to this new opportunity for self-flagellation:
This business about the synapses struck me as the sort of finding that could have been designed to add to the concerns of those older parents who already spend some uncomfortable time, while trying to fall asleep at night, thinking of ways that they may have shortchanged their children. Here is an entirely new subject, pushing aside old chestnuts like whether that really was the right summer camp or whether the purchase of the guitar might have been to blame for everything that followed. Now, as they toss and turn, they can envision their children trying to compete in a global economy with reduced brainpower.
This beleaguered dad does, it should be said, touch upon a handful of more general topics, including the wacky world of contemporary wedding ceremonies. At the heart of his book, though, is the alternately exasperating and endearing pageant of family life, chez Trillin, which features not only the author's smart-aleck daughters but also his wife and perennial straight (wo)man, Alice.

(retrieved from Amazon Fri, 24 Apr 2009 07:58:19 -0400)

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