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Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore
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Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

by Christopher Moore

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This is the story of Christ's early life, told by his best friend, Biff. It's a very funny book, but may offend people who don't like satire to extend to the gospels.

Most of the story takes place in the years before the traditional gospels start -- in Christ's early life as a child and young adult. He and Biff travel to visit with and learn from the three wise men before returning home so Christ can fulfill his destiny.

Lamb is also a book about friendship, and how real friends tolerate each others' differences. Biff is a great character, and an even greater friend. ( )
LynnB | Jun 27, 2009 |  
Two things about this book, before I get into it. First, it is one of the few books that has made me laugh out loud. Second, people who saw me reading it really appreciated that I, a former pastor, was reading it.

Lamb is the story of the Apostle who did not make it into the Bible, Jesus' childhood friend Biff. The plot loosely follows the gospel accounts of Jesus' life, with some major addditions.

Moore has done his research. His seting of 1st century Palestine is pretty accurate. He knows his stuff.

I did not think the book was blasphemous, sacreligious or insulting to Jesus, Christiany, Judaism or Buddhism. (Kali worship comes in for pretty rough treatment though. It is clearly not meant to be a devotional account of Jesus' life. It is fiction.

Moore picks up on the legend that Jesus studied in the East before he started his public ministry in Galilee. Moore is clear that this is a good plot device, and he has no idea what Jesus did during those lost years. And it indeed does make a good story.

The more you know the Bible, and especially the field of NT studies, the more you can appreciate this book, but you don't need to have that background to fully enjoy it. Moore is an excellent comic writer, but when the plot turns serious, so does he...at least a little. (Apart from Monty Python, it is hard to write about a crucifiction for laughs.) I want to read the book again and underline all the great one liners Moore throws out. ( )
Arctic-Stranger | Jun 17, 2009 | 1 vote
This was a humorous take on the life of Christ (mostly dealt with childhood friend Biff). If you are easily offended when dealing with Christ, then I would avoid. The book isn't all humor either. There is still quite a bit of seriousness involved.

With all of that, I would still recommend the book for a good laugh and read. Biff made my side hurt with his comments and actions throughout the book. A good friend to Jesus that you would never have picked yourself. Christ didn't sin, but Biff did enough for both of them... with a good heart. ( )
wvlibrarydude | Jun 16, 2009 |  
"All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid."

On the surface, "Lamb" seems entirely and brazenly blasphemous. If I were a religious person, which, thankfully, I am not, I think I would have thrown this book in the trash upon reading the first chapter. However, wrapped within this fictionalized comic version of events are emotive messages and a deep and understanding respect for religion and belief.

I went through ten years of religious schooling in my childhood, so when I say that I am not a religious person I do not mean that I am without faith. I have studied my own religion as well as many others as part of my cultural studies degree program and have come to the conclusion that the version of organized faith one subscribes to must be entirely agreeable with your persona and ideas. If it isn't, keep searching until you find one that is. And if you never do, maybe you will find yourself somewhere in between a whole slew of different belief systems, which is where I am.

In "Lamb" Joshua and Biff are exposed to many different organized faiths and learn something from each one. They learn to block out pain from monks in China and that there are people out there who believe that sacrificing children to a statue will keep them safe and in line. They traverse the continent in search of the three wise men who witnessed Joshua's birth and encounter Yetis, black magic, poison, lepers - all the while healing and laughing as they go.

We all know the story of the Son of God... the last supper, the betrayal of Judas, the crucifixion... so I will not summarize it here. What I will say is that I have taken several things from this book, which surprised me very much as I only expected it to be a good laugh. In "Lamb," Moore gives the best description of the Holy Ghost that I have ever heard. I will even venture to admit that I never truly understood it until now. Also, I am reminded that faith is something that every person has, even if they don't express it in a religious way, and that is what ties all of humanity together. Faith in friendships and family, faith that someone will do the right thing, faith that you will persevere through life and come out on top; even if there are a bunch of dicks who want to nail you to a cross and watch you bleed. ( )
nellebabe | May 30, 2009 |  
Richie's Picks: LAMB: THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO BIFF, CHRIST'S CHILDHOOD PAL by
Christopher Moore, HarperCollins/William Morrow, March 2002

"The first time I saw the man who would save the world he was sitting near
the central well in Nazareth with a lizard hanging out of his mouth. Just
the tail end and hind legs were visible on the outside; the head and forelegs
were halfway down the hatch. He was six, like me, and his beard had not come
in fully, so he didn't look much like the pictures you've seen of him. His
eyes were like dark honey; and they smiled at me out of a mop of blue-black
curls that framed his face. There was a light older than Moses in those
eyes.
" 'Unclean! Unclean!' I screamed, pointing at the boy, so my mother would
see that I knew the law, but she ignored me, as did all the other mothers who
were filling their jars at the well.
"The boy took the lizard from his mouth and handed it to his younger brother,
who sat beside him in the sand. The younger boy played with the lizard for a
while, teasing it until it reared its little head as if to bite, then he
picked up a rock and mashed the creature's head. Bewildered, he pushed the
dead lizard around in the sand, and once assured that it wasn't going
anywhere on its own, he picked it up and handed it back to his older brother.
"Into his mouth went the lizard, and before I could accuse, out it came
again, squirming and alive and ready to bite once again. He handed it back
to his younger brother, who smote it mightily with the rock, starting or
ending the whole process again.
"I watched the lizard die three more times before I said, 'I want to do that
too.'
"The Savior removed the lizard from his mouth and said, 'Which part?'
"By the way, his name was Joshua. Jesus is the Greek translation of the
Hebrew Yeshua, which is Joshua. Christ is not a last name. It's the Greek
for messiah, a Hebrew word meaning anointed. I have no idea what the "H" in
Jesus H. Christ stood for. It's one of the things I should have asked him.
"Me? I am Levi who is called Biff. No middle initial.
"Joshua was my best friend."

So begins the tale that fills in the missing years of "the most influential
human being to ever walk the face of the earth," the three decades between
the manger scene and the Sermon on the Mount. The story is told by Biff whom
an angel has been brought back to life in the twenty-first century.
Christopher Moore had done his homework before writing this extraordinarily
funny adult novel about how you would spend your adolescence preparing for a
career on Earth as the Son of God. Many readers will be enticed to explore
or re-explore the Old and New Testaments, as well as sacred texts of the
world's other great religions. But as Moore notes in his Afterward:

"With Lamb, in my own goofy way, I attempted to fill that hole in history,
but again, I am not trying to present history as might really have been, I'm
simply telling stories."

And while our eyes are rarely out of sight of a funny one-liner or situation,
there is also a real sense of the times and the history thanks to the
author's attention to sensory and cultural detail in regard to the Roman,
Middle Eastern, and Eastern societies of the first century.

There are several more reasons--besides the adolescent (frequently sexual)
humor and the historical aspects--that makes LAMB appealing to high
school-aged readers. First, Joshua is so sincere yet befuddled, that readers
will find him endearing and will be eager to know what happens to him (aside
from the obvious). Second, Josh and Biff's quest to seek out the three wise
men is a fascinating and wacky road trip through the ancient wisdom of the
East. And finally, adolescents who have a friend, an older sibling, a
parent, or some other hero to whom they feel in their heart they will never
be able to measure up to will identify with the character of Biff, a young
man who shields his own insecurities with humor while being loyal to his best
buddy 'till the end.

But that's not to say that the humor of LAMB is limited to Biff's attempts to
compensate for being the sidekick of the Messiah:

" 'Alphaeus [Biff's dad],' Joshua called, 'does the work get easier once you
know what you are doing?'
" 'Your lungs grow thick with stone dust and your eyes bleary from the sun
and fragments thrown up by the chisel. You pour your lifeblood out into
works of stone for Romans who will take your money in taxes to feed soldiers
who will nail your people to crosses for wanting to be free. Your back
breaks, your bones creak, your wife screeches at you, and your children
torment you with open, begging mouths, like greedy birds in the nest. You go
to bed every night so tired and beaten that you pray to the Lord to send the
angel of death to take you in your sleep so you don't have to face another
morning. It also has its downside,'
" 'Thanks,' Joshua said. He looked at me, one eyebrow raised.
" 'I for one am excited,' I said. 'I'm ready to cut some stone. Stand back,
Josh, my chisel is on fire. Life is stretched out before us like a great
bazaar, and I can't wait to taste the sweets to be found there.'
"Josh tilted his head like a bewildered dog. 'I didn't get that from your
father's answer.'
" 'It's sarcasm, Josh.'
" 'Sarcasm?'
" 'It's from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you
aren't really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I
invented it and Bartholomew named it.'
" 'Well, if the village idiot named it, I'm sure it's a good thing.'
" 'There you go, you got it.'
" 'Got what?'
" 'Sarcasm.'
" 'No, I meant it.'
" 'Sure you did.'
" 'Is that sarcasm?'
" 'Irony, I think.'
" 'What's the difference?'
" 'I haven't the slightest idea.'
" 'So you're being ironic now, right?'
" 'No, I really don't know.'
" 'Maybe you should ask the idiot.'
" 'Now you've got it.'

Readers will discover that Biff's other inventions include cafe latte. They
will also discover what I did: LAMB: THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO BIFF, CHRIST'S
CHILDHOOD PAL is a raucous, thought-provoking tale about that guy from long
ago who is the greatest influence on the lives of so many of us.

Amen.

Richie Partington
http://richiespicks.com
BudNotBuddy at aol.com ( )
richiespicks | May 27, 2009 |  
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Series (with order)
Canonical Title
Original publication date
People/Characters
Important places
Important events
Awards and honors
Epigraph
God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh. - Voltaire
Author's blessing

If you have come to these pages for laughter, may you find it.
If you are here to be offended, may your ire rise and your blood boil.
If you seek adventure, may this story sing you away to blissful escape.
If you need to test or confirm your beliefs, may you reach comfortable conclusions.
All books revel perfection, by what they are or what they are not.
May you find that which you seek, in these pages or outside them.
May you find perfection, and know it by name.
Dedication
First words
The angel was cleaning out his closets when the call came.
Quotations
You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't.
I learned how to boil down goat urine to make explosives today.
Hi, I'm the Messiah, God wanted you to have this bacon.
I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.
Last words
(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
Disambiguation notice
Publisher's editors
Blurbers
Book description

Amazon.com Amazon.com Review (ISBN 0380813815, Paperback)

While the Bible may be the word of God, transcribed by divinely inspired men, it does not provide a full (or even partial) account of the life of Jesus Christ. Lucky for us that Christopher Moore presents a funny, lighthearted satire of the life of Christ--from his childhood days up to his crucifixion--in Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. This clever novel is surely blasphemy to some, but to others it's a coming-of-age story of the highest order.

Joshua (a.k.a. Jesus) knows he is unique and quite alone in his calling, but what exactly does his Father want of him? Taking liberties with ancient history, Moore works up an adventure tale as Biff and Joshua seek out the three wise men so that Joshua can better understand what he is supposed to do as Messiah. Biff, a capable sinner, tags along and gives Joshua ample opportunities to know the failings and weaknesses of being truly human. With a wit similar to Douglas Adams, Moore pulls no punches: a young Biff has the hots for Joshua's mom, Mary, which doesn't amuse Josh much: "Don't let anyone ever tell you that the Prince of Peace never struck anyone." And the origin of the Easter Bunny is explained as a drunken Jesus gushes his affection for bunnies, declaring, "Henceforth and from now on, I decree that whenever something bad happens to me, there shall be bunnies around."

One small problem with the narrative is that Biff and Joshua often do not have distinct voices. A larger difficulty is that as the tone becomes more somber with Joshua's life drawing to its inevitable close, the one-liners, though not as numerous, seem forced. True to form, Lamb keeps the story of Joshua light, even after its darkest moments. --Michael Ferch

(retrieved from Amazon Fri, 24 Apr 2009 07:57:52 -0400)

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