Title: You Suck: A Love Story

Author: Christopher Moore

Hardback: 328 pages

Date Published: 2007

Publisher: HarperCollins

ISBN: 9780060590291

Miscellaneous: You Suck is a sequel to Moore’s book Bloodsucking Fiends.

It turned out that superhuman vampire strength came in handy when shaving a thirty-five-pound cat. After a couple of false starts, which had them chasing Chet the huge shaving-cream-covered cat around the loft, they discovered the value of duct tape as a grooming tool. Because of the tape, they weren’t able to shave his feet. When they were finished, Chet looked like a big-eyed, potbellied, protohuman in fur-lined, duct-tape space boots — the feline love child of Gollum and Dobby the house-elf.

I’m not sure we needed to shave all of him,” Tommy said, sitting on the bed next to Jody as they considered the bound and shaven Chet on the floor before them. “He looks creepy.”

“Pretty creepy,” Jody said. “You’d better drink. Your wounds aren’t healing.” All her scratches, bruises, and love bites were completely healed, and except for a fleck of shaving cream here and there in her hair, she was as good as new.

“How?” Tommy asked. “How do I know where to bite him?”

“Try the neck,” Jody said.

-You Suck: A Love Story by Christopher Moore, pages 29-30

You Suck by Christopher Moore is a fun, light read about two young vampires in love who must face the difficult tasks of being UNDEAD in a day-slave world. They face the HUNGER and must feed, they must deal with vampire killers, they have to find an apartment, and… for the LOVE of ALL things UNholy! They have GOT to figure out a way to drink a cup of joe without the coffee making a forceful return trip to spooge on their shoes!

While, technically, this book is a sequel to Moore’s Bloodsucking Fiends, it is more than capable of standing alone. The past events are mentioned in a very natural way, so that you don’t have that sense of being late to the party.

Some of the best qualities of You Suck is the unusual characters and the way they all mix together. Take Blue for instance: An aging Vegas hooker whose career-prolonging gimmick is that she’s painted blue from head to toe, inspiring the reoccurring line, “Didn’t you want to bone a smurf when you were a kid?” And then there’s Abby Normal (day slave name, Allison Green) who is the emo/goth/vamp-wannabe minion of Jody and Tommy, our romantic heroes. And one of my favorite characters of the book is William, the dirty, fat, drinking/stinking bum with the 35-pound cat. William makes his money sitting in high-pedestrian areas, holding a sign that says “I’m poor and I have a huge cat” and charging passersby to touch his huge cat.

Another quality of You Suck that I enjoyed is Moore’s sense of humor, his sarcasm and his ease-of-reading writing style. He doesn’t take himself too serious as a writer, and mixes up the story telling from omniscient 3rd person and “Diary of a Put Upon Goth (closet perkie) Girl,” the subjective point-of-view of Abby Normal, which provides the outsider-wanting-in view. And Abby’s journal entries are so funny, complete with self-abasement and bunny-trails and updates on her sister’s head lice problem.

You Suck: A Love Story by Christopher Moore was my first experience with the author, but it won’t be my last In some ways, he reminds me of Janet Evanovich, who is one of my favorite “fun authors.” I give You Suck 4 out of 5 stars It’s a fun book you can sink your teeth into ^,…,^

click for the full review: http://thekoolaidmom.wordpress.com/20... ( )

I must admit that I did buy this book for its cover. I also must admit that I was disappointed. I suppose I was expecting it to be less kitschy than it was. I found myself doing mental eye rolls all throughout the novel.

The plot for me fell apart in a lot of places. I was surprised because I have heard such good things about Christopher Moore. The characters seemed to bumble about without much direction. I understand that he probably wanted to surprise the reader a bit in the ending, but he sacrificed the story quite a bit in that respect.

Jody, a sultry redheaded bloodsucker decides to turn her boyfriend Tommy into a bloodsucker so they can be together forever. She didn't however ask him first and he is none too thrilled to be thrown into this position.

Trouble is near as Jodi is being hunted by Elijah, an ancient Vampire that is pissed off because she broke the rules and turned Tommy. Tommy's crones from his warehouse job suspect Tommy of being a Vampire now and are trying to hunt him down.

Jodi and Tommy have to find a lamb to be a personal assistant for them and find them new housing, also occasionally providing them with blood. They find a little goth girl Abby Normal. She is about the funniest character in the book. Without her added to the mix I might have quit halfway through.

If anyone knows of any Christopher Moore books that are actually good, I might give him another chance. Overall I would say pass on this book. ( )

This was a sweet little young love story...with a bite! (Sorry, I couldn't resist.) The characters aren't very developed, the plot twists are reaching, and the dialogue is absurd, but all these elements are necessary in making a just plain fun campy vampire story. It doesn't take itself seriously, which is very nice to see upon exiting the recent Twilight haze. This is a sequel of a book which I have not yet read--though I know almost everything that happened in the first thanks to the second, I'll still be going back to see what I can laugh at. ( )

So much funnier than I imagined it would be. As funny as Apathy! I did not realize this was a sequel; I have to figure out what the first book was and read it, too! ( )

This is my first dalliance with the writings of Mr. Moore, and I must admit, I am thoroughly charmed.

"You bitch, you killed me! You suck!" it opens, and proceeds to get deliciously sillier from that point on. The tale of a newly-crossed-over teenage vampire and his girlfriend as they attempt to adjust to the undead lifestyle and avoid getting killed by an older vampire. The book delights in poking fun at vampire lore as well as skewering slacker, urban and goth culture. Passages of the book written in the voice of the vampires mortal minion, Abby Normal, hover on the edge between hilarious and irritating as she drifts between the personas of bubbleheaded teenage girl and stereotypical melodramatic goth. An effective technique, but perhaps not to everyone's tastes.

The book is further enlived with a cast of peculiar, random, amusing characters such as Huge Cat Guy and his pet Chet, whom, as one might guess, is a huge cat. Then there's the seemingly homeless Emporer of San Francisco and a completely blue prostitute. A "colorful" cast for sure.

Some of his smaller touches are quite amusing as well, particularly the chapter titles. One particularly brief chapter is called, quite succinctly, "The Last Poop." Indeed.

This book held many laugh-out-loud moments for me, just a fun, highly entertaining read. I docked it a half-point for a conclusion that seemed a bit flat, but otherwise, this book was just great. ( )