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The three Baudelaire orphans have been set up with a new guardian and move to their home in a neighborhood that has the most domineering homeowners' association ever. Rules about what is and isn't allowed change on a regular basis, but the Baudelaires are more concerned about what happened to their friends, who were abducted in the previous book.

I feel like my reviews for this series are beginning to become redundant. But to be fair, that's because the books are redundant. Well, maybe that's not entirely true, since a few things did happen in this book that broke away from the formula a little. But it's just too little to make me suddenly start liking it. Especially given some of the absurd elements of this book, like Sunny climbing up an elevator shaft with her teeth and everything having to do with the red-hot tongs.

Any time I wonder why I keep listening to the series when I've disliked it so much so far, I only have to remember Tim Curry doing a purposely bad Swedish accent. It was the best part of the whole book for me, and half a star of my rating is based on his narration. However, even he may not be able to get me to continue this series, if it doesn't get less ridiculous soon. ( )

In their most daring misadventure, the Baudelaire orphans are adopted by very, very rich people, whose penthouse apartment is located mysteriously close to the place where all their misfortune began. Even though their new home in the city is fancy, and the children are clever and charming, I'm sorry to say that still, the unlucky orphans will encounter more disaster and woe.

In fact, in this sixth book in A Series of Unfortunate Events, the children will experience a darkened staircase, a red herring, an auction, parsley soda, some friends in a dire situation, a secret passageway, and pinstripe suits.

Still one of my favorites from the series. ( )

The sixth book, The Ersatz Elevator, finds the Baudelaire's back in their hometown, just a couple of streets over from where they used to live. With their parents. When life was good.

This time they've been placed with friends of their parents, the Squalors who live in a penthouse on 667 Dark Avenue. Which on a side note, the puns and other easter egg references crack me up. Jerome and Esme Squalor are a mixed bag. One is kind, the other is fashionable. One is a pushover, the other is a pushee. Their lives are dictated by what is "in" and what is "out". Fortunately for the Baudelaire's, orphans are "in". Unfortunately elevators are out which means a lot of stairs.

Living with the Squalors is strange but certainly could be worse - they could be kidnapped like the Quagmire triplets were. Sick with worry about their friends, the Squalors barely rate on their list. ...and then Count Olaf appears. This time, Count Olaf is disguised as Gunther, the new auctioneer for the In Auction Esme is throwing. The children have no idea what is going on or what Olaf is up to, but they're determined to find out - especially if it will give them a clue to the whereabouts of the Quagmire triplets. Which it does. The penthouse floor has a second elevator door that when opens leads down to a cage. In the cage are the Quagmire triplets! Once again, they try to tell the Baudelaire's about VFD and how it's important but are shushed. The Baudelaire's a more focused on coming up with a plan to get them out and prevent Count Olaf's plan - which is to smuggle the Quagmire's out of town by auctioning them off.

The logic on this one was a bit weird. I never really got how this was going to get Olaf the Baudelaire's fortune. It really wasn't the best regarding the Quagmire's either since they were previously already out of the country.

The Baudelaire's climb up and down the elevator shaft multiple times coming up with a plan but are foiled by their own willingness to trust adults when they explain everything to Esme and get pushed back down the elevator shaft. Because Beatrice apparently stole everything from her (and yes we were all asking who the hell is Beatrice (in relation to the Baudelaire's) and what has she got to do with anything?) and she would get her revenge. Well and Count Olaf is her former acting coach, she thinks he's a genius and stealing money is "in" or at least money is but in this case that's more or less the same thing.

Anyways so the Quagmire's are auctioned off, hidden in a big box with the letters VFD printed on the side. But wait, no - it's a red herring!!! This bit honestly had me laughing. It was so ridiculous. The children are hidden in the big ass statue of a red herring. While the VFD box is empty - or at least empty of children. It's actually full of Very Fancy Doilies. Masterful. Mr Poe arrives just in time to be absolutely useless, Jerome continues to be a pushover and the Baudelaire's are determined to rescue the Quagmire triplets, no matter what - even if that means giving up a more or less satisfactory guardian. Having given up on happiness, they settle for truth - they can rely on each other.

I have more questions than the Baudelaire's have misfortune and I already know I'll likely never know the answers to them. How frustrating. Still, an action packed read. 3 stars. ( )