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The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket
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The Austere Academy (2000)

by Lemony Snicket

Other authors: Brett Helquist (Illustrator), Michael Kupperman (Illustrator)

Series: A Series of Unfortunate Events (5)

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8,08588639 (3.78)42

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» See also 42 mentions

English (86)  French (1)  All languages (87)
Showing 1-5 of 86 (next | show all)
I have begun reading this to my daughter every night before bed so it may be on my 'currently reading' list for a while.
  a1stitcher | Jun 22, 2019 |
I love the way this series is evolving, especially the way the author weaves the story of the characcter of Lemony Snickett in with the Baudelaire's story. ( )
  Monica_P | Nov 22, 2018 |
It's been a long time since I've read this series, so writing a review so many years past is perhaps a bit unfair, but I did absolutely love reading this books when they came out. The dark sense of humor appealed to me, as did the motley cast of characters. ( )
  sweetiegherkin | Oct 22, 2018 |
Every time Count Olaf is first mentioned, it's always a DUN DUN DUuUUuNN sorta moment. ( )
  morbusiff | Sep 20, 2018 |
School! Evil school, granted, but school with new friends nonetheless! ( )
  _rixx_ | Aug 30, 2018 |
Showing 1-5 of 86 (next | show all)
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» Add other authors (9 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Snicket, Lemonyprimary authorall editionsconfirmed
Helquist, BrettIllustratorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
Kupperman, MichaelIllustratorsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
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Information from the French Common Knowledge. Edit to localize it to your language.
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For Beatrice -- You will always be in my heart, in my mind, and in your grave.
First words
If you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn't give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would snatch it from your hands anyway.
Quotations
If you have walked into a museum recently --- whether you did so to attend an art exhibition or to escape from the police --- you may have noticed a type of painting known as a triptych.
Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make -- bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake -- if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble.
There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.
Mr. Poe meant well, but a jar of mustard probably also means well and would do a better job of keeping the Baudelaires out of danger.
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(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
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Amazon.com Amazon.com Review (ISBN 0064408639, Hardcover)

As the three Baudelaire orphans warily approach their new home--Prufrock Preparatory School--they can't help but notice the enormous stone arch bearing the school's motto Memento Mori, or "Remember you will die." This is not a cheerful greeting, and certainly marks an inauspicious beginning to a very bleak story. Of course, this is what we have come to expect from Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events, the deliciously morbid set of books that began with The Bad Beginning and only got worse.

In The Austere Academy, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are at first optimistic--attending school is a welcome change for the book-loving trio, and the academy is allegedly safe from the dreaded Count Olaf, who is after their fortune. Hope dissipates quickly, however, when they meet Vice Principal Nero, a self-professed genius violinist who sneeringly imitates their every word. More dreadful still, he houses them in the tin Orphans Shack, crawling with toe-biting crabs and dripping with a mysterious tan fungus. A beam of light shines through the despair when the Baudelaires meet the Quagmires, two of three orphaned triplets who are no strangers to disaster and sympathize with their predicament. When Count Olaf appears on the scene disguised as Coach Genghis (covering his monobrow with a turban and his ankle tattoo with expensive running shoes), the Quagmires resolve to come to the aid of their new friends. Sadly, this proves to be a hideous mistake.

Snicket disarms us again with his playful juxtapositions--only he can compare bombs with strawberry shortcake (both are as dangerous to make as assumptions), muse on how babies adjust developmentally to the idea of curtains, or ponder why the Baudelaire orphans would not want to be stalks of celery despite their incessant bad luck as humans. We can't get enough of this splendid series of misadventures, and can only wager that swarms of young readers will be right next to us in line for the next installment. (Ages 9 and older) --Karin Snelson

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:08:45 -0400)

(see all 4 descriptions)

As their outrageous misfortune continues, the Baudelaire orphans are shipped off to a miserable boarding school, where they befriend the two Quagmire triplets and find that they have been followed by the dreaded Count Olaf.

» see all 7 descriptions

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