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The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary…

The Five Love Languages of Children

by Gary Chapman, D. Ross Campbell

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1,452155,157 (3.82)6



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An exploration of the five love language premise--physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service--but this time in terms of children.

The authors do well at shifting the premise from its original grounding in marital relationships and encourages parents to recognize their children's primary love language. The authors point out the challenges which come with children who are often unable to properly verbally express whatever they are feeling and often just get frustrated, rebellious, or act out in other ways; the burden of responsibility is much higher on the parents in this circumstance. The authors also apply the love languages and their lessons to handling discipline and fostering instruction. They also work to give encouragement to single parents; for married parents, importance is placed on making sure each spouse knows the other's love language and acts accordingly, providing a good model for children.

Beneficial for parents. ( )
  deusvitae | Nov 25, 2017 |
In the Evangelical tribe I grew up in, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman provided the idiom to talk about how each us receive and give love. Because of our unique personalities and family of origin, we each have modes of expressing love which is particularly meaningful to us. For some it words of affirmation. Others feel particularly loved when you spend quality time with them. Giving and receiving gifts is another ‘love language.’ Others feel loved through physical touch or acts of service. My love language is gift giving (so keep them coming ;P ). Chapman’s original book has helped countless people understand their own love needs and how to best express love to their mates (and other loved ones) whose ‘love language is often different from their own.

I don't typically read ‘spin-off’ books. The fact that there is a Love Language book for singles, men, children, teenagers etc, seems a little too much like “Chicken Soup for the Cat-Lover’s Soul.” It is more of a marketing ploy than something you expect to say something new. But then I am the father of three very different children and thought that The 5 Love Languages of Children would provide me with some insights on how to love my children well. I was pleasantly surprised by what I read inside. This is a great book.

While Gary Chapman and his co-author, Ross Campbell, M.D., say that it is impossible to identify a primary love language for kids under the age of five, and warns that love languages can change at various stages, I gained some appreciation for the uniqueness of my three year old needs and some understanding of my five year old. My two-year-old son is still a mystery.

Chapman and Campbell devote the first half of this book to describing the five love languages and how to recognize them in your children. In the last half of the book they describe how to discipline children, foster learning and help children manage their anger by responding to them in ways which ‘fill their love language’ when we give direction or correction. They also discuss some of the unique challenges of responding to a child’s love language for single-parent families and how modelling love languages in marriage helps your children.

This is a quick read with a lot of insight. Every involved parent loves their children (hopefully!); however not every child feels their parent’s love. This book helps parents understand their children and offers sage advice on how to nurture them in love. My oldest daughter seems to have a primary love language of Quality Time and loves it when you spend time with her. My almost four year old, I would guess has a preference for acts of service. She loves it when you do things for her in a way that her independent older sister never did. This helps me respond with greater patience when she has me help her with something she is quite capable of. And of course Chapman and Campbell also encourage parents to nurture your children to express each of the love languages to others.

But the most important chapters for me would be the chapters on discipline, learning and managing anger. My kids are unique with different personalities and I have learned that what works with one kid will not work with the others. Certainly there is a lot I still need to discover about my children but like the original Love Languages book, this gives me some words to talk about it.

I recommend this book to parents. It may be a spin-off but it delievers the goods. I give this book four stars. : ★★★★☆

Thank you to Moody Publishers for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for this fair and honest review. ( )
  Jamichuk | May 22, 2017 |
I read this book before reading the 5 Love languages for couples. I love how in depth the book goes to help us identify what our children's love language is. I agree that it is hard to determine the love language of a child under a certain age, however, I have been able to figure out that our 3 year old's love language is definitely touch. While I'm sure he has awhile before we can have an idea of his secondary, it is apparent that he is a toucher.

I didn't realize that we all receive love differently until I read this book. It helped me pinpoint which love languages my older children feel loved. It should have been a given since they both enjoy quality time, but I didn't realize that is how they feel loved.

I plan on reading this for a second time because it is that great! ( )
  CatherineBird | Sep 5, 2016 |
Both my wife and I read the Five Languages of Love book and that definitely benefited us. We both read this one too and agree that it has provided deep insights into loving our child more.

The tips that the authors provide regarding discovering your child's primary love language are elegantly simple. They just make complete sense. Also, the pointers on 'what do to if [x] is your child's primary love language', at the end of the chapters, are quite enlightening.

The chapter on disciplining was fascinating as well. It says 'ask "What my child needs when he misbehaves?" instead of "What should I do to correct his behavior?"' - neat, real neat. It goes on to say that disciplining should be done only when the child's love tank is full, else the child will develop a resentful mindset.

Fathers (myself included) - apparently there's a 11-yr study that says that children grow up much better when we are involved with them during their childhood days.

While reading the book I was trying to identify the primary love language of our (almost) 4yr old. But the authors say that below 5, children expect to be loved in all of the 5 ways and that's very true of our kid.

"Don't be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won't matter. What you do with your children will matter forever." - absolutely true (especially for the corporate employees). ( )
  nmarun | Feb 26, 2015 |
In The 5 Love Languages of Children, Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell apply Chapman's popular concept of the five love languages to the parent-child relationship. Each of the five love languages is explained and examples are given of how to use (and how not to use) a child's love language. Parents are encouraged to love their children unconditionally, which is sometimes not as easy as one would assume it to be, and to successfully express that love to a child.

I found The 5 Love Languages of Children to be insightful and challenging. The explanations of each language were informative, but the real life examples were what I found to be most helpful. There is a full chapter as well as a love language “game” at the end dedicated to help parents correctly identify how a child gives and receives love. At times, the book was a bit overwhelming to me as it felt like I have to do everything perfectly or I'm going to really mess my child up. I know that was not the authors' intention and maybe not everyone will get that feeling, but that's how it was for me.

The 5 Love Languages of Children is geared for children above age five. My child is only two which is a bit young for her love language to be obvious. The authors say five is usually the minimum age before a child's love language can be determined as it's prone to fluctuate in the early years. Therefore, a lot of the information was good, but not completely relevant to me. The main points I was able to take away from the book were: unconditional love is the desire of a child's heart, whether or not a child's love needs are fulfilled will affect them positively or negatively, and it's important to practice all five love languages at this point. I plan to keep The 5 Love Languages of Children and will probably revisit it in a few years.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising." ( )
  Sneezybee23 | Jan 13, 2015 |
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Outlines five expressions of love--quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch--and explains how to identify and communicate effectively in a child's "love language"

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