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Jak zdobyć przyjaciół i zjednać sobie…
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Jak zdobyć przyjaciół i zjednać sobie ludzi (original 1948; edition 1990)

by Dale Carnegie

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7,763104434 (3.95)69
Member:sperzdechly
Title:Jak zdobyć przyjaciół i zjednać sobie ludzi
Authors:Dale Carnegie
Info:Pocket Books (1990), Mass Market Paperback, 304 pages
Collections:Your library
Rating:****
Tags:communication, personal development, leadership, negotiation, management, audiobook

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How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (1948)

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Showing 1-5 of 98 (next | show all)
I can't believe how many negative reviews I saw here after reading this--most of them with the same complaints. This book is 'amoral,' 'manipulative,' 'heartless,' etc. Did we read the same book? This is definitely not a book for con men like many seem to think. Since when did trying to sell a product become evil? This book isn't some magic key, it doesn't work on everyone all the time no matter what. But it is a good general guideline to follow, because by doing so you give others what they want, and maybe they'll give you what you want in return. Maybe. Not definitely but maybe. You are simply increasing your chances by giving them small things that everyone wants but are in low supply because nobody else seems to give them.

I guess I'm morally bankrupt as well, because I just don't see the problem. Nowhere is this more evident than the fact that, even knowing everything this book says, I would have no problem if someone used these "tricks" on me, because it's not telling you to do bad things, it's telling you to good things. If someone wants something from me, why shouldn't they be nice to me, make me feel important, encourage me to talk about myself, avoid criticizing me outright, let me save face when I mess up, etc? Why shouldn't they do their best to talk about things in terms of what I want and explaining how helping them will help me? It's not like I can't still say no, but let's be honest, I'm definitely more likely to say yes than if they were "sincere" and "themselves" and didn't do a damn thing to make me feel good.

I don't care how fake these things come across, it would still be better than not doing them, because at least it shows an effort and consideration towards me. It's not just, "listen to what I want and give it to me and we're not even going to pretend that I view you as anything more than a means to an end." Sure, that would be more "real" but it's not more pleasant. There's nothing wrong with pretending. We all know most girls don't really like giving blowjobs, but you still want them to pretend that they love it while it's happening, don't you?

Carnegie feels the same way, clearly, because he offers examples where his principles "worked" on him and he doesn't say it like he was hoodwinked. He counts it as a good thing. Someone did him a favor by treating him this way and he gave more consideration to what they wanted in return than he would someone who didn't do these things, because duh.

That's not manipulation, that's mutual benefit. That's saying, "hey, we both know we're only talking to each other right now because I want to make a business transaction with you, but I took the time to learn who you are as a human being and listen to your accomplishments/problems/interests. I took into consideration what you want and tried to align it as best I could with what I want for our mutual gain. I saw things from your point of view. Wouldn't you rather be in business with someone who can see things from your point of view instead of someone who doesn't even try because it's 'incincere'?"
The answer is a resounding yes.

Haters gonna hate. ( )
1 vote ForeverMasterless | Apr 23, 2017 |
The book basically tells you to be agreeable to everybody, find something to honestly like about them and compliment them on it, talk about their interests only and, practically, act like a people pleaser all the time.

just read the "In a Nutshell" summary points at the end of each chapter. You won't miss anything.

( )
  SwapnaRajput | Feb 18, 2017 |
This classic self-help / self-improvement book was first published in the 1930s. It is divided into four major sections: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People, Six Ways to Make People Like You, How to Win People To Your Way of Thinking, and Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment.

Given the decades over which this book has been read, and the hordes of people who have done so, I’d be surprised if most of us hadn’t already heard most of this before. But Carnegie insisted that all he says here bears repeating, and he even advises that the person who truly wants to apply these principles should re-read the book frequently, keeping a copy on one’s desk for quick reference.

I admit that some of the principles certainly bear repeating, and that it is easier to agree with them than it is to practice them consistently. Still, had it not fulfilled a particular challenge, I would have abandoned it long before I finished it.

Andrew Macmillan’s performance on the audio was so “dated” in tone and quality that it made me think of 1930s black-and-white movies or even old radio dramatizations, rather than concentrate on the principles being taught. 1 star for the audio.

I did have a copy of the text handy, and despite some dated examples, the principles hold true. So 3-stars for the book. ( )
  BookConcierge | Jan 25, 2017 |
Great book. One of the best in its class. ( )
  stevetodman | Jan 7, 2017 |
This classic bestseller will inspire and motivate you to become a great leader in the world of business.
  mcmlsbookbutler | Dec 29, 2016 |
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Epigraph
Dedication
This book is dedicated to a man who doesn't need to read it - My cherished friend Homer Croy
First words
Introduction by Lowell Thomas - a short-cut to distinction. On a cold, winter night last January two thousand five hundred men and women thronged into the grand ballroom of the Hotel Pennsylvania in New York. Every available seat was filled by half past seven.

Introduction by Dale Carnegie - How this book was written - and why.  ... Why, then, have I had the temerity to write another book? And, after I have written it, why should you bother to read it?
Quotations
Last words
(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
Disambiguation notice
Relocated from 'first words' Common Knowledge entry -"How to Win Friends and Influence People was first published in 1937 in an edition of only five thousand copies." Which appears to be from the preface written by Dorothy Carnegie (Mrs. Dale Carnegie) to the 'revised' addition.

Following copied from Simon & Schuster (original publishers) web page on 10 May 2015 "Since its release in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold more than 15 million copies."
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Wikipedia in English (3)

Book description
Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong."
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
Appeal to the nobler motives.
Dramatize your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other person save face.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Haiku summary

Amazon.com Amazon.com Review (ISBN 0671027034, Paperback)

This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. For instance, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers," and "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks. --Joan Price

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:14:46 -0400)

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The inspirational personal development guide that shows how to achieve lifelong success.

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