Excellent book when you want to deal with people on a regular basis. I have used some of the tips in my every day life and they work like a charm. Especially the speaking to everyone advice! ( )

Common sense wrapped in examples and essays. Another example how a product catches on from the uniqueness or cross-class content of the product. ( )

Outstanding classic ( )

Outstanding classic ( )

Loved it. Fantastic. Really had the ring of truth for me, and I was able to immediately apply the things I learned. And they worked. This book got me started on a self-help book binge that has led me to some interesting discoveries. Read it. ( )

a classic & good advice for anyone ( )

Here is the philosophical idea that underlies How to Win Friends and Influence People:

You know, it’s such a peculiar thing--our idea of mankind in general. We all have a sort of vague, glowing picture when we say that, something solemn, big and important. But actually all we know of it is the people we meet in our lifetime. Look at them. Do you know any you’d feel big and solemn about? There’s nothing but housewives haggling at pushcarts, drooling brats who write dirty words on the sidewalks, and drunken debutantes. Or their spiritual equivalent. As a matter of fact, one can feel some respect for people when they suffer. They have a certain dignity. But have you ever looked at them when they’re enjoying themselves? That’s when you see the truth. Look at those who spend the money they’ve slaved for--at amusement parks and side shows. Look at those who’re rich and have the whole world open to them. Observe what they pick out for enjoyment. Watch them in the smarter speak-easies. That’s your mankind in general. I don’t want to touch them.

And here is its conclusion, put two different ways:

It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.

A man’s career concerns all society. The question of where you could be most useful to your fellow men comes first. It’s not what you can get out of society, it’s what you can give.

Only the middle quotation is actually from the book. The other two are from The Fountainhead. They are spoken by the character Ellsworth Toohey, and represent Ayn Rand's mockery of the belief that men are creatures whose highest function is to serve other men.

Friends cannot be "won", nor people influenced (in anything more than the most shallow ways), by an exploitation of their flaws. Mankind are better than that. ( )

A must read for anyone looking to sell or persuade. Read the book. You'll thank me later. :) ( )

This book is the bestseller in many country with How to stop worrying and start living.In this book,it is written relationship with the other people.I think it's useful in every situation.But English level is high with" How to stop worrying and start living" You need to read many times. ( )

I give this book a 5. I respect Mr. Carnegie tremendously. This book is a classic. Provides a great foundation for developing people skills and positive influence. The techniques are insightful and are very practical. This book will motivate you. Provides great tips for dealing with people, such as smiling and staying away from criticism. This book will really help with your speaking skills. Highly recommend reading for any business owner or entrepreneur. ( )

Probably the epitome of self-help books, for a 70-year-old text its points are still very important today. Some of this book is common knowledge ('don't criticise' and 'tell people you appreciate them') but a lot of other points are the sort of thing that you might need pointing out so you remember them. It can be a little heavy at times- some of the examples and stories are needlessly long-winded- but pressing through is remarkably rewarding and leaves you with a lot of useful knowledge at the end.
Even if you don't end up loving it, it's worth reading so you know what everyone else is talking about.

Load of crap, but in one time of my life I needed some ego boosting.

I can see why this has remained such a timeless classic in everything from business to sales. The concepts are all rather simple, but the author, through each revision, manages to present such a crackling, quick moving lesson that one if forced to agree and attempt to change accordingly.

I read this again in conjunction with the Carnegie Immersion course. Anyone would benefit from both. There are a lot of fine take-aways I could cite here but the main point is probably to practice it. ( )

How to Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie

Remember people name
Winning an argument is empty victory; you lost the good will from the other person.
The best way to win an argument is to not start one. It is loose loose situation.
Start a discussion with "Yes" questions; questions that compel the listener to say yes. It is also called the Socratic method.
Don't use "but"; use "and".
Say no indirectly.
Let the person save face.
Give a reputation to live up to.
Ask question instead of direct order. ( )

see: http://pakws.blogspot.com/2005/06/lea... ( )

Chcked out by Angie Wangendo on 11/16

While I own the book, I recently listened to How to Win Friends and Influence People as an audiobook. I actually read the physical book for the first time in 2003. I remembered the information being valuable enough that, this year, I set a goal to re-read it in 2007. Listening will have to do...

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a classic that is best summarized by the following quote from the inside flyleaf of the dustjacket:

"The sole purpose of this book is to help you solve the biggest problem you face: the problem of getting along with and influencing people in your everyday, business and social contacts."

I think that sums it up quite well. The book provides guidelines for improving your relationships. It does so by stating a principle, providing some vignettes to explain its efficacy, repeating the principle, and then moving to the next. These principles are grouped by objective. Examples of some of the objectives are "Six Ways to Make People Like You" and "Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking". There are others that are similar.

Many people in reading this book will find it hokey, goofy, or common sensical. I would argue that it is a little hokey in tone but that doesn't change its accuracy. Likewise, sure, it may be common sense but most people don't follow its principles. What Carnegie says makes a great deal of sense. I can also say that what he describes works. I've used many of the guidelines with success.

In short, I consider the book a classic and will re-read it every couple of years as a reminder of how I can best interact with friends and business colleagues. So why only 4.5 stars? The book does have some limitations due to its age and there are a couple of contradictions in the book. In the beginning of the book he implores the reader to follow the guidance of Abe Lincoln by not being critical of others even when they make a mistake. Later he has a section on "How to Criticize - and Not be Hated for It". I also feel that, in 70 years, people have changed their perspective even if only slightly. That being said, I believe that 90% of what Mr. Carnegie professes is still applicable.

One of the most interesting points that I have to make about this book is a comment made by a business colleague/friend of mine. I was traveling to a client location with this person and told him that I'd like to listen to my audiobook while we traveled. When I told him what book it was, he laughed but agreed. He was working on other things but kept chuckling happily and looking up to pay attention to the stories and principles. We probably listened to half of the book during this drive. As we returned home, this friend of mine (a mid-50s male) said to me, "You know, when I first got into sales, I had to read this book. It's one of those classics that you just 'had to read'. At the time, I thought it was all just common sense bullshit. I can tell you now, having lived through many of the experiences he's describing, that this is all so true." The comment stirred me and gave me an even greater appreciation for this book.

In summary, I've taken the major sections of the book from Wikipedia and listed them below. I'd HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who will listen to it/read it with an open mind and a true willingness to learn. These are principles we should all implement into our own lives. If you want to improve yourself: read, learn, and apply.

The core principles of the four major sections of the book.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People:
- "Don't criticize, condemn or complain."
- "Give people a feeling of importance; praise the good parts of them."
- "Get the other person to do what you want them to by arousing their desires."

Six Ways to Make People Like You:
- "Become genuinely interested in other people."
- "Smile."
- "Remember that a man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
- "Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves."
- "Talk in the terms of the other man's interest."
- "Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely."

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking:

- "Avoid arguments."
- "Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never tell someone they are wrong."
- "If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically."
- "Begin in a friendly way."
- "Start with questions the other person will answer yes to."
- "Let the other person do the talking."
- "Let the other person feel the idea is his/hers."
- "Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view."
- "Sympathize with the other person."
- "Appeal to noble motives."
- "Dramatize your ideas."
- "Throw down a challenge."

Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment:

- "Begin with praise and honest appreciation."
- "Call attention to other people's mistakes indirectly."
- "Talk about your own mistakes first."
- "Ask questions instead of giving direct orders."
- "Let the other person save face."
- "Praise every improvement."
- "Give them a fine reputation to live up to."
- "Encourage them by making their faults seem easy to correct."
- "Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest."
( )

My dreams include people. I like solitary activities like reading, playing piano, and jogging, but I don't dream of them. So people are really important to me deep down, but I'm more comfortable avoiding the uncertainty of interacting.

When I had this insight about my dreams I started reaching out more and see that this is indeed what I want -- more contact and bonding. At about the same time I read an essay by Paul Graham, an intelligent programmer and entrepreneur that I respect. He recommended "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and sure enough it is a fabulous book which really cannot be summarized because its heart is the personal stories that he tells about famous people such as Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt or about students in his many seminars.

To give the flavor, Part One has three fundamental techniques of handling people. Chapter One starts with examples of murderers and other criminals who do not accept criticism for these awful acts and try to justify them. His point is that criticism is not accepted even for the most serious offenses, let alone for lesser transgressions. He says "Criticism is futile because it puts a man on the defensive, and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a man's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses his resentment." Toward the end of the chapter he says, "Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than cricism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness."

Chapter Two of Part One shows how people desire a feeling of importance, and concludes with the recommendation to "Give honest, sincere appreciation." Chapter Three raises the question "Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. So the only way on earth to influence the other fellow is to talk about what he wants and show him how to get it."

The interesting anecdotes make the reading easy. The book has six parts and each part has several principles(37 in all) that could be listed to provide a one-page reminder of how to win friends and influence people. Carnegie taught mostly sales representatives and managers, but the principles generally apply. They concentrate on the other person, developing the reader's ability to interact that facilitates contact and bonding and opens up the happiness and joy that results.

This book was first published in 1936. My copy is an 86th printing of the paperback edition published in 1968.

Seems corny to say this, but this classic is very well written and has some excellent insights into human nature. ( )

Perlick's review: http://www.nehrlich.com/blog/2006/03/...

a must read for anyone wanting to improve relationships, both for personal and business life. ( )

http://malaysianatheist.blogspot.com/... ( )

I'd always assumed that this was a cynical book about manipulating people to serve one's own ends. Having read it, I still think that's true on some level: Carnegie's outlook does seem to be founded on the assumption that people are weak, self-deluded creatures who have to be coddled rather than dealt with in an open and straightforward way. But, at the same time, Carnegie's overall outlook does seem to be positive and genuinely caring. On balance, How to Win Friends and Influence People seems to be full of sound, practical advice; perhaps what one makes of it depends on one's own character. [2007-3-1] ( )